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female
,
*enimgal
writes: Dear Cupid,I have been married all of two weeks...and I HATE IT when my husband goes down on me. I dont feel like any foreplay activity either...that was not how i really thought i am.I am not too attached yet,but dont have any other romantic pursuits which may explain it. Please help - looks like we wont last too long this way !!Denimgal
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Poor_Choice +, writes (4 April 2006):
Have you tried talking to him? try explaining that its not him, sometime by giving men the slip they become more determined to have their way! tell him how you feel, say the marriage was a shock to system and you need time to adjust to you new life style! you never know he might suprise you!!hope it all works out!
A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (27 March 2006):
 Take this opportunity to get him to do to you what you want. Tell him what feels good and what doesn't. If he does something you don't like, tell him what you do like and teach him how to do it properly.
It sounds like a bit of inexperience from both sides but I think if you concentrate on what you like and teach him how you like things, it may help.
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A
female
reader, mystify +, writes (26 March 2006):
 maybe you could try , getting turned on yourself then approaching him , his ways may seem more appealing when in this frame of mind and may grow on you
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A
female
reader, denimgal +, writes (25 March 2006):
denimgal is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey Smeedle,1/ I have had sex in the past, but cos it was not a regular feature I cant draw comparisons with the interest factor2/ This is an arranged marriage3/ I well..like him for the person he is4/ He isnt attractive really and I am deemed to be very pretty, but I thought looks are not important and we'll get attached with time 5/ No...I'm not a virgin - had a boyfriend but we fell apart long back Thanks a ton for trying to sort me out !- D Dear Poor Choice,Well...that exactly how I want to go about it, but my hubby wants the fast track, he wants sex everyday and I can see that he feels spurned by my lack of enthusiasm. He gives me these sex books to read and I want to throw them away !!!- D
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A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (25 March 2006):
 Hello Denimgal, I am struggling to give you advice as I need the answer to a few questions first:-
1/ did you not have sex before you got married
2/ is this an arranged marriage
3/ are you in love with him in any sence of the word
4/ do you find him attractive
5/ are you or were you a virgin
If you can let me know a few more details then I can better help, thanks
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A
female
reader, Poor_Choice +, writes (25 March 2006):
You havent been married long, you could have set your expectations too high, try and relax with you new husband, intimacy is the key to a good sexual relationship. do things you enjoy together, even if you stay up all night chatting about nothing in paticular and then fall asleep in each others arms. also and this may be over stepping the mark but get to know yourself sexually and then you'll be able to tell him exactly which buttons to press!! also give yourself lots of time, you need to heat up the oven before you start cooking!!!
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