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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi, i was just wondering how soon is appropriate to start seeing someone else after spliting up with a long-term boyfriend. I am in position where, my boyfriend dumped me about 2 weeks ago (after 3 yrs) and a male friend of mine has told me that he has feelings for me. im not entirely sure if i will get over my ex fully, i still love him, but i am also very attracted to this male friend. Should i just just meet up with him and see how it goes (he might help me get over my ex), or should i wait till i am sure i am fully over my ex? Thanks
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (28 March 2006):
 Not until you feel ready or comfortable to move on.
x
A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (28 March 2006):
 Depends on the person, depends on how deeply involved emotionally the person was, depends on who broke up with who, etc etc etc.
There is no set timeframe. It is important to do what feels right but make sure you have had time to grieve the loss of the relationship. Sometimes you can feel a bit "numb" in the first few days/weeks and think you feel okay and then the realisation of what has happened can hit you later.
Be careful because you need time to grieve and move on and you wouldn't want to hurt someone else by rushing into a relationship with them before you have given yourself time to heal.
Maybe you should try being friends with this new guy first - give yourself some time to get to know him better and allow you some time to heal before getting into another relationship?
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A
female
reader, Sexybum +, writes (27 March 2006):
 There is a popular time period people like to give and that's three months. It gives you enough time for your wounds to heal, get back in control of your feelings, you know get your ex fully out of your system and you still have the desire for a man / women, and flirting will be natural not just on the rebound. Any chance of going on the rebound should be out of your system after three months.
So 3 months is what they suggest.......
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A
male
reader, tux  +, writes (27 March 2006):
 The answer to this question can be elusive. Often, I think it depends on the person and how they feel about their previous relationship. But from the sounds of it, you may want to back off a bit before moving forward. I'd wait and make sure that your male friend isn't just trying to get an easy rebound pick-up. You never mentioned when he told you this. If he really liked you, he'd understand and wait it out. And you don't seem to be completely over your ex.. so that can be troublesome as well. I don't believe you have to be totally and completely over the previous relationship, but enough to move on. Between my previous relationship of 1 year and my current one I personally only waited 2 weeks and now it's been 4 months into this one now, so it's pretty much still experimental but well.. every situation is different because you may just find your soul mate after 1 day being broken up and u'd forget about all your other ex's.
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