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female
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*erplexed2
writes: I have a question.Okay, here's the situation. My boyfriend is pretty good, I'd say our relationship is pretty healthy, we respect each other and have separate interests and friends, encourage each other, etc. He cares for me when I don't feel well, and vice-versa. We have similar goals in life. However, there is one thing that I'm not sure if I should be concerned about it or not. It seems such a small thing but it really bothers me. If he calls my cell phone from work, and I'm at home, he asks me where I am, and I say home. After that he says that he's going to call my home phone to make sure I'm actually home. This worries me. Now, let's say he calls my cell phone and I say i'm not home, i'm out with friends. This is not a problem, he doesn't care if I go out. But if I say i'm home he wants to make sure I'm telling the truth. Should I be concerned, or am I just paranoid? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, bridget +, writes (30 March 2006):
 Hey there pet,
If he does this calling at home business just to make sure you are there, that might be a difficulty and sticky situation in him..
He maybe had a relationship in the past that had no trust and the other individual was not loyal to him, these things take loads of time to get over..
Maybe you should sit him down and explain to him that you dont feel comfortable with him not trusting you, explaining your feelings to each other would be a good way of both of you to understand what the other is going through..
Hope this helps..
Jacqueline
A
male
reader, tux  +, writes (27 March 2006):
 What I read would lead me to believe that he is checking up on you and not trusting you.. but thats if he actually says that is exactly what you said he said.
if he says "Ok let me call you at home because I want to make sure you are there." is something to be worried about.
If he says "Ok let me call you at home." It's not worrisome at all. he may like the other readers keeping an eye on his and your budgets.
It's hard for me to tell because I know people tend to add stuff they feel the other person is trying to say..
ie Person A says, "Ok let me call you at home."
Person B says that A said."Ok let me call you at home to make sure you are really there."
But if he actually did say "let me call you at home to make sure you are there." I have my doubts about him trusting you or being in a position to trust you. There may be something there that can be troublesome in your relationship from what I can tell if that is the case.
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female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (27 March 2006):
 I agree - maybe he is just trying to save some cash. Maybe his company have recently made people start paying for personal mobile calls and they can be costly.
I wouldn;t be too worried, the fact that he never is upset or angry that you are out is a good sign.
If you are still unsure, ask him. I reckon he is just trying to avoid getting into trouble from his boss for expensive calls or trying to save himself a quid. I wouldn't worry.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2006): Are you sure he isn't just trying to save money? Cel-phones cost, landlines are cheap.
If that's not the reason he insists on switching lines, that is indeed weird on his part. Frankly, it's also insulting. The message implicit is basically that he doesn't trust you when you say you're at home. Tell him that it offends you when he insists on verifying where you are that way - if he absolutely needs to know if you're at home, he can call there first instead of running his little "test".
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