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female
,
anonymous
writes: Is it normal for someone that you just started dating to tell you to keep your relationship a secret? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (28 March 2006):
 He's probably married. Find out ASAP and if he is dump him. No future there for you.
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (28 March 2006):
 I agree with the above post. It isn't normal or necessarily helpful for a relationship to be kept secret but sometimes it falls into the 'necessary evil catergory'. The key thing is that there is openess between you two even if you cant have that with everybody around you yet.
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A
female
reader, lisa_01  +, writes (28 March 2006):
 Its not common but it does happen, i had a few b/f's in school who would say lets just keep our relationship a secret for now, it turns out they just did'nt want people to know they were going out with a nerd :( one of them i went out with in secret for over 1 month and then suddenly one day walking to class i saw him holding hands with another more popular girl, so in other words he cheated but of course i could not get mad about it or tell anyone because for one he would deny even dating me and 2 no 1 would believe me, so i think that its a bad idea really and from personal experience it always ends up in heart break and keeping your relationship a secret makes it drag on and the relationship just does not go anywhere, i think if you have a job thats at stake or a major age difference then it makes it some what understandable to keep it a secret but if its just because one person in the relationship is worried about what people would think etc then the relationship is not going to go anywhere anyway.
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A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (28 March 2006):
 Hard to say without much detail.
It's not generally normal but sometimes there are unusual circumstances in which people may think it is best to hide a relationship for a little while ie. a friend of mine started dating her exe's best friend and they wanted to see how it worked for a few weeks before they told him before unecessarilly hurting him in case it didn't work.
However, these types of reasons are generally agreed to by both parties to say avoid hurting someone or finding the right time to tell someone who may not approve of the relationship.
I think to help you more we need the circumstances around the relationship and then we can help you.
If in doubt, just ask the person "why are we keeping this a secret?" - it is not an unreasonable question.
To me there are a number of reasons why someone may want it kept a secret but unless we know more details, it will be hard to say.
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