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male
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anonymous
writes: Met this girl at work, we talked over the phone a couple of times and hookup at work to see each other and we had agreed to meet up on a Friday to go out or in her case hang over her house for the first date. Well my job has put me on this shift work that has me working all types of crazy hours and before our big work bid came up were everyone in the company picks what days they want to work and days off I had filed a complaint because new people were coming in and getting hours I was suppose to have and I didn’t think it was fair that I worked to 11pm on day and get in at 5 am the next day I can’t get my rest. So I had went to my union and they told me to come in on the Friday that I was suppose to be with her to get things straight, so I came to her department and told her that we were going to get together the next Friday because I had to go to a Union meeting to get my hours right. So I didn’t her from her in a couple of days and I thought that I should call her up to tell her and remind her that we were getting together on the Friday of the next week she said she was cool with that and I said and I quote, “Call me on the phone so that I know what time to come over”. Well it’s been like 3 weeks and some days from the last time that I talked to or heard from this girl. Now hope that this girl didn’t get an attitude at me and don’t want to talk to me anymore because I had to cancel our date because I was trying to get my hours that I work straight. I hope that she doesn’t think I was trying to make up a sorry excuse to not hang out with her because I called her back to let her know that I still wanted to get together. But I guess after 3 weeks and some days not hearing from her I guess that’s the way she gets down. What ya’ll think about this situation because as much as I would loved to had hung out with her the Friday we agreed on, my money and not missing days from being tired from 3 to 4 hours of sleep at night working a swing shift is an important matter to get fixed. And if I see her again do I speak to her or just say nothing to her at all.
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (29 March 2006):
 Sack her off. It would seem that she is shallow and obviously didn't believe what you said. If you really like her phone her one more time, and if she doesn't respond quit chasing and date people who are more understanding next time.
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A
male
reader, tux  +, writes (29 March 2006):
 She might not mind if you are broke and unemployed.. My gf stuck with me when I lost my car for a month on something that was totally my fault. but well.. as for the selfish part.. I don't view it as that too much.. because it was the first date.. and that is the very first impression of things to come. even if that is not normally how you are. it makes you look like a flake.
but give her a call and apologize and find out if she is still maybe interested in going out on a date... perhaps she'll give you a second chance.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay now maybe I'm crazy but my job is the reason I can have this computer with internet and electric to turn it on and off and pay my bills. With these hours that I am working now getting these few hours of sleep I have missed 4 days of work, late 4 times in the last two week and a no show to go with it, and the other day I got written up on a level 3 which means I will get terminated the next time that I have to go to another attendance meeting for any of these reasons again. Trust me I hate to keep her waiting to get together, but there are some things that need my attention, before I can get back to her. She has a daughter and if something came up that she had to do for her kid that ment breaking a date to take care of something important for her child I would understand. I mean thats just being a little selfish on her part because if I lose my job then what? You think she would like to have a relationship with me then being broke and jobless.
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female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (29 March 2006):
 I would call her and ask her out on a proper date - not this go over to her place and hang out. Treat her like a lady not one of your footy mates.
Ring her and ask her to dinner, someplace nice. Apologise again and say that you understand if she is upset but you would like another opportunity to see her and get to know her.
She is probably feeling at the moment that you are more interested in your work than her and the fact you haven't called reiterates that. Even though you said "call me" - she probably sees that as lazy and a brush off.
Get your act together and call her and invite her out. If she is not intersted, forget it and figure you have missed the boat and you will know that if you need to cancel a date in the future with anyone, you ring up the next day and apologise again and ask for the opportunity to see her again.
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A
male
reader, tux +, writes (28 March 2006):
I think this is hard to recover.. You canceled your first date.. it's bad enough to cancel a date within a relationship let alone the first one. what you basically said to her was that "getting my work hours straight is more important than you and I'm a big flake."
But it could just be she is busy as well right now and hasn't been able to call you or may be waiting for you to call her. but it's hard to say.. you may just want to move on. or see her in person and see what's going on.
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