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female
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*ovleyemma
writes: Hi, My friend is 29 and she has got this guy after her but he's 17. They really get on and I think they are falling in love with each other but she says it's the age gap that's stopping them. But I think if you love each other that much, age should not be a problem. Hope you can help so I can talk to my friend a bit more cause I don't know what to say to her. Thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (23 March 2006):
 It is tough one because some people see age as no barrier whilst for others it can be a big problem.
I think that it is important that you don't pressure your friend into anything. At the end of the day it is her life, not yours.
She may find this 17 year old attractive but maybe she is looking for someone who is a little bit more mature, perhaps who is thinking about the sort of things she is - is thinking about marriage, kids, buying a house, travelling etc? - he may not be.
Whilst they may have deep feelings, she may want someone who can give her what she needs at this time of her life. Perhaps she wants stability whilst he still wants fun. Maybe he is thinking about travelling or working overseas and she doesn't want to stop him.
Perhaps she doesn't want to tread on his dreams which perhaps she has already achieved - college or travel or something else perhaps?
Maybe she is worried that he is inexperienced and may not be committed enough for - he may still want to get out there and see lots of girls.
Who knows exactly but you have to let her make the decision.
I would perhaps ask her exactly what she means by age difference and see if one of these fears I mentioned above is the sticking point - perhaps if it is, you can talk her through it.
I think that whilst you think it is a great idea, you have to understand that she see's this differently and even if you think she is making a mistake, it is her life and her mistake to make.
Be supportive of her either way and encourage her to talk about it. Respect her decisions too, even if you don't agree with them.
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