A
male
,
anonymous
writes: Hello. I'm 28. I've met this great girl through an online dating service which of course you are required to be 18 for and it even asks for credit card info. She said she was 18. Three weeks into the relationship, she confesses to me that she is actually only 16. Now, i'm stuck for what should I do. She already gave me the exit door if I wished to use it, though I didn't. Should I have used it? It's been a full month now since we have been seeing each other and I love her. I'm just kind of in a hard spot to what to do. Reply to this Question Share |
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female
reader, Angelicc +, writes (31 March 2006):
Well i've myself have lied about my age onces or twice but thats for different reasons.
Altho i wonder why she was in an over 18's dating serive, at least she did confess to you in the begining. it's obviously you have an attraction to her as you could of ended it if you wanted to. there are lot issues to think about if your entering into a reltionship with an 16 year old girl. so be sure before you do?
A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (30 March 2006):
I would be questioning the dating service who let 16 years on when it is meant for 18 years and over.
Secondly, I think you really need to look at her maturity and how trustworthy she really is.
And thirdly, as a 28 year old guy, do you really want to be with a 16 year old girl?
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (30 March 2006):
Well the legality of this rather depends on where you actually are. Of course in the UK the age of consent is 16 so if you from there you at least don't have that to worry about. Far more pressing could be problems with relatives/friends and all the other normal problems of age gap relationships.
The problem is now that you have made your descision and as such she will take that at face value. Yes she was wrong to deceive you and yes it was selfish but your forgiveness of these acts is kind of implicit in the fact you didn't leave her. If you were to turn round and leave now she could justifiably say you led her on emotionally by not leaveing when you had the chance. And two wrongs never make a right.
The fact is that even if you are in a situation where sex would be illegal then you can always wait. I suspect you know in your heart what your feelings are for this girl; its just that now your doubts have caught up with you and ae nagging away. Irrespective of the law i think it's fair to say you have a hard path ahead and only you can decide if the love you feel for her is worth that journey.
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A
female
reader, juliagulia +, writes (30 March 2006):
You should exit before you get arrested. I know you already have feelings, but she should have been honest with you from the beginning. She had no right to put you in that situation in the first place - it was selfish on her part, not surprising coming from someone so young. She did not consider the consequences of what could happen to someone if they were caught having sex with someone who is underage. I'm sorry that this happened to you, but you have to walk away before you end up in a very bad situation. If you were to be prosecuted, you would be classified as a sex offender for the rest of your life (at least in the US). Is that what you want? It isn't worth it. Most relationships that occur when you are 16 don't last that long anyway, but your criminal record will last forever. If I were you, I would be very angry with this person and report her to the dating service where you met her before she suckers someone else into doing something illegal.
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