She's never given me reason to think she'd cheat... so why am I so worried?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 and a half years. She has had to leave the city for 6 weeks for a course that she is doing and I am worried. She is living in a big house with lots of others (guys and girls)and although she has never ch...
A. 30 August 2005: I know even one kiss is a black mark on a relationship. It's like a relationship starts out as a blank sheet and something even as fleeting as this crumples it up. You can lay it on a table and try to smooth it out, but it can't be perfect again. ... (read in full...)
He's married and 44, while I'm 18. But we have so much in common that we're falling for each other...
Q. Hi, I've got a problem that has been developing over the past year. I met a man almost exactly a year ago who I 'clicked' with like I haven't done with anybody before. We have the same taste in music, art, everything really. There are a few p...
A. 28 August 2005: If you don't want anyone to get hurt, don't let it become an affair. If you're afraid it will become an affair, remove yourself as much as you need to. You can be friends from a distance, and maybe meet only occaisonally. Even if you do this, ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says she'll quit her job that sometimes involves sex. I want to believe her...
Q. My girlfriend is from The Philippines where she works at a bar in Japan to send money home to her family and to her daughter. At this bar guys walk in and pay drinks for the girls. The girls sit with the guy and talks with him. Some get sexual and ...
A. 28 August 2005: It seems a little strange, but I think it could work if you're comfortable with what she's done already. It sounds like she hates her job and she's quitting, maybe in part because she's happy she's found you. She is trying to provide for a ... (read in full...)
If he isn't ready to date only me, is it fair for him to get jealous when I go out with other guys?
Q. I am 35 and new to the dating game having always had LTR's with friends who have become boyfriends. I have recently met this man through the internet and we have been dating for roughly 2 months. I am 35 he is 42. We share similar values in life, sh...
A. 28 August 2005: Hey, I'm only 21 and not in the dating game so I won't try to explain it. I just want to say that I don't think you're being sleazy at all, since you're only having sex with one guy. I think you should enjoy your single status and do whatever you ... (read in full...)
There's no sex any more! My girlfriend is just never in the mood...
Q. I am a 29 year old woman who has been in a relationship with another woman for 8 years. She is ten years older than me. Our relationship is great except for the lack of sex. At first we were at it all the time, but gradually over the years it...
A. 28 August 2005: Let me say this is very painful to deal with, in body and in mind. Sure there's pills that could fire her back up, but you've said she refuses to go to a doctor so that's out. You've tried talking and even begging so that's out, too. I've read ... (read in full...)
Do my parents love my elder brother more than me?
Q. This is a weird thing to ask but if parents have two children, say two sons, is it natural for the them to be more close to the elder son than the younger one? Extending this, is it possible that they love the elder son more than the younger one ...
A. 28 August 2005: Anything is possible, especially when it comes to love and hate. I think it's mostly a misconception you have there. Every sibling sees things from their own perspective, and each sees the others as having it better off. I don't believe this thing ... (read in full...)
What do I do about my friend's girlfriend starting to like me?
Q. My friend's girlfriend has taken a liking to me, which she has told me herself! I also really fancy her, however I don't know what is the right thing to do! Please help me!...
A. 28 August 2005: The right thing would be to tell her off yourself. Say that you're not about to backstab your friend like that and she needs to get her **** together. Do this and watch the situation play itself out. Leave it as is without bringing her boyfriend ... (read in full...)
I'm 12 and I keep arguing with my mum...
Q. I am 12 and having problems with my mum. We argue all the time and I am getting depressed! There must be one of you out there who has gone through the same thing as I am now! Please just give me some advice on what to do....
A. 27 August 2005: I realize that as an independent mind, you have to argue sometimes or get stepped on. It's wise to pick your battles and not argue on petty things. Like, if you're mom tells you to do the dishes, and you don't want to cuz you're on the phone, it's ... (read in full...)
Being with my boyfriend is more like being with a mate...
Q. I have been living with my boyfriend for three years and been with him for three and a half. Whilst he has never been very tactile or passionate, the respect and admiration I feel for him has always enabled me to appreciate him for other reasons. ...
A. 27 August 2005: I would say go with what you're feeling right now. You've been with your man for over three years, and he's a great guy. Those are both good reasons to keep your relationship. But they aren't enough for you, as you said. You deserve to be ... (read in full...)
Caught my boyfriend... with pics of Justin Timberlake!
Q. I am 20 and my boyfriend is 25. When I went to visit him at his home one day, and caught him masturbating over pictures of Justin Timberlake on his computer and felt so disgusted. I asked him outright if he was gay, and he said no, and when I ...
A. 27 August 2005: My guess is he's bisexual at least, and in denial and shame because of it, but he might still love you on a romantic level. Sounds like a mess. My gut tells me he's a dishonest person if he's going to outright say he isn't gay or bi after you ... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and I hate my body because I don't look like those famous, sexy women!
Q. I'm 16 and I've been going out with my boyfriend for around 3 months. My friends all make jokes about their boyfriends' bodies, but I'm so scared that I'm never going to be able to take my clothes off in front of someone. I'm not exactly fat, I'm...
A. 27 August 2005: The thing I always point out whenever a girl thinks she's too big is this: just because celebrities like Brad Pitt only hook up with the Angelina Jolie type doesn't make it universal. Don't think if you don't look like Keira Knightly you can't get ... (read in full...)
I'm interested... but would he have been affected by a relationship with an older woman?
Q. There's a guy who comes to the book shop where I work, and he's funny and cute and a little bit shy. We chat for a bit nearly every time he comes in. I'm pretty sure he's unattached because a girl who works with me knows his sister. I've been feel...
A. 27 August 2005: There might be some trauma as Irish said, but since he's in good spirits when he talks to you and your inside informant hasn't reported him being emotionally ruined, I bet he wasn't broken by it. He was young and made mistakes like all of us did. ... (read in full...)
We had sex and forgot the condom!
Q. Hi I'm a 14 year old boy and I've been with my girlfriend (who is 16 in October) for 3 months now and it's been great. We get on very well and I really do think we can and will last, but our parents are against us. No reason, just don't like it, so ...
A. 27 August 2005: I really hope for you and your girl's sake you get lucky and you two won't be forced into parenthood ahead of your time (even though there's plenty of other pitfalls like busted condoms and missed birth control that can mess you up, too, but odds ... (read in full...)
How can I find out if he might be interested... without making things uncomfortable?
Q. I have not been in a relationship in a while and met a guy at my hairdresser's a few days ago. I wasn't 100 per cent sure if he liked me back or was interested but he was very friendly and always caught my eyeline with a smile and blush. We got...
A. 22 August 2005: Flirting is an art that you can only learn by watching and practice. Still, if I was this guy in a casual talk at the hairdresser it would be enough for me to go on if you told me I had a cute baby face while smiling big with eye contact. See, you ... (read in full...)
I can't be friends with my engaged friend any more, and I miss him...
Q. How do I build back up the friendship? I'm in a bit of a difficult situation. I got involved with an engaged man but it has been over for 4 mths due to working together and the difficulties it brings. I am really missing his friendship since...
A. 22 August 2005: Hey, sweetpea! Like the name. I'm not sure I get your message clear, so I'm assuming when you said 'got involved' you mean got physical with him, so if I'm wrong this won't be much help. Even if you didn't, you can't be dependent on a friend, ... (read in full...)
I rescued her from an abusive relationship, but what can "rescue" ours?
Q. My girlfriend and I are having our 2nd child, but together we have FOUR. The one on the way is a girl and the other three are boys. When I met her she walked everywhere, didn't earn much and had come out of an abusive relationship with her ex, her ...
A. 22 August 2005: Sorry for my mistake, I apologize for talking about you being married when you aren't. Still, since you have kids together I believe you should give it your all. Maybe yall can make a comeback. Best wishes.... (read in full...)
I rescued her from an abusive relationship, but what can "rescue" ours?
Q. My girlfriend and I are having our 2nd child, but together we have FOUR. The one on the way is a girl and the other three are boys. When I met her she walked everywhere, didn't earn much and had come out of an abusive relationship with her ex, her ...
A. 22 August 2005: You can't change her, and if you've already talked about it to this end then there's only so much you can do for her. Therapy saved my friend's marriage, so it might help if you're both willing. I say fight for this as long as you can, because you ... (read in full...)
Forbidden by my mum to see a co-worker who I'm very interested in...
Q. I am currently a 17 year old female, graduating from high school this May. I am very comfortable with myself and confident in who I am, and it is maybe for this reason that people always mistake me as many years older then I actually am. I work...
A. 22 August 2005: Sounds like a bad idea to me. Look for some guys in ur school. I mean, if your mom was cool with it it would be one thing but it's really not worth the risk, even if your mom is being unfair. When you're independent of your parents, do whatever ... (read in full...)
Can't pay the rent, and my husband takes out his frustration on the apartment. What do I do?
Q. I don't think I love my husband any more. We have great financial stress, which I seem to take more on board than him. He is 32yrs and I am 19yrs. We have been married for 2 yrs. He can't hold a job down, and doesn't seem to care. All the money st...
A. 22 August 2005: People think they have financial stress, but most people who say this don't know what it is to worry if they can afford to have a place to live next month, so I have sympathy for both of you. This kind of stress can make a relationship stronger as ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend how I feel? He probably already knows...
Q. Hi Here goes..I recently started having feelings for a male friend who I have known for 16 years. Neither of us are currently in a relationship (both suffering the after effects of some horrendous break ups) and we get on really well. I have no...
A. 22 August 2005: All I'm gonna say is not telling him will keep tearin' ya up inside and you'll probably regret it later. If he's a great friend and great guy, I don't think it will ruin your friendship if he doesn't reciprocate. I mean, yall have been friends for ... (read in full...)
I'm too scared to let any guys get close, because I'm sure they'll see my flaws!
Q. Can anyone help me? I am a 27 year old female - virgin. Not by any religous choice but purely because the fact of letting someone that close to me terrifies me (I feel sick, start shaking - like real fear!). On the outside I am fairly outgoing, ...
A. 20 August 2005: To add on to what Irish says, I'm thinking the way you described your anxiety as genuinely feeling like fear might point to a chemical imbalance. MIGHT. I know a lot of people get sick in the stomach and shake when they're afraid, so I don't ... (read in full...)
He keeps me awake by masturbating and he won't spend any time with me during the day!
Q. Hi there I was going out with my boyfriend for over a year and due to a lot of problems we split. Six months later we decided to get back together. Sex has been good but on the nights we sleep together and don't have sex my boyfriend mastur...
A. 20 August 2005: I understand where he's coming from rocking the bed, even though it's wrong. In fact, I bet most of us do it at least once in awhile out of spite to rattle you for not having sex with us... When next you talk to him about it, ask him to go in the ... (read in full...)
Why do I say such hurtful things to the man I love?
Q. I have actually found the love of my life, the man that I want to marry. I would die for him,. My problem is that I do have respect for him but not completely. I get angry with him and can be very nasty in arguments and say hurtful things delibera...
A. 8 August 2005: Is it just a bad temper, or something more? Anger is an emotion by itself, but it's also a filler. By that I mean that we use anger as a substitute for other emotions, like jealousy, fear, doubt... all of these are forms of pain. Easier to get ... (read in full...)
What't he best way to get over someone you really loved?
Q. Dear cupid, Me and my boyfriend broke up almost 2 months ago. No matter what I do I can't get over him. I really loved him and now I have no idea what to do. How do I get over someone that I really loved?...
A. 8 August 2005: I know you're hurting, but know also that we all bleed the same way that you do. For most bad things, just having a good attitude and determination can get you through, but there are those ones that seem like they will never heal and you'll never ... (read in full...)
Is the 5-years gap too much between us? Is it too soon for us to have sex?
Q. I am a 15 year old teenage girl who is in a loving relationship with a guy who is 20. I will be 16 in 3 months and he will be 21 next month. We really want to have sex but I don't know if it's too soon and if he is too old for me? ...
A. 8 August 2005: There's no easy way to answer that, especially because I don't have much to go on. So I'll toss a couple things out there, you can keep em if you like em or you can send them back.
If you've only been together for a few months or less, it's too ... (read in full...)
A bad experience with another girlfriend means he thinks things will go bad between us, too!
Q. My boyfriend is very insecure about himself, how can I make him get past all his problems?? Hi, I'm 15 years old..and I have a boyfriend who's 17. We've talked to each other for about 5 months now and we love each other. He is my first love ...
A. 7 August 2005: No matter what, he's not gonna forget about that girl. We all live in the shadow of the past. That said, your man is gonna get over it in time. You don't have to give him therapy or a motivational speech. All you need to do is stay where you ... (read in full...)
I'm not shy. I'm happy to ask girls out, but what do I actually SAY?
Q. Right, let me explain my situation; I'm 17, living in England, and never had girlfriend. Up until the last year or so of course I've been interested, though this hasn't really bothered me, but since I went to college and met friends that hav...
A. 7 August 2005: I've never been good at making calls on whether a girl that's a stranger in a club, bar, restaurant, store or whatever likes me or not. So I understand the pretense. I've found the best thing to do is engage yourself with the girl somehow. If ... (read in full...)
Please help me... I need some "reasons" to take my girlfriend's virginity!
Q. I have a girlfriend who is a virgin and I think she is ready to lose her virginity to me but she said I must first tell her why she should lose her virginity to me....
A. 7 August 2005: I'm down with most of the answers here. She's answering a question with a question, which is just to throw you off and get you off the subject, so I would interpret that as "no, I don't want to now, I don't know when I want to, but if I tell you ... (read in full...)
What exactly does "a break" mean?
Q. Hey, I was wondering, what's the defintion of "a break"? Does it mean...we can see other people? I just don't understand. Any serious and honest answer would greatly help. Thank you...
A. 7 August 2005: A good break is just giving the other time and space, and neither people go on dates. The purpose of it is to think about the relationship from an outside view without the distraction and drama of being together. If it comes down to seeing other ... (read in full...)
My co-worker and I seem to have a chemistry, but the mixed signals are driving me mad...
Q. Please help me, I am in agony! I have very strong feeligns for a co-worker of mine, and I can't figure out what to do about it. People always tease us and say we have "chemistry", and he just laughs and blushes. Someone even accused him of h...
A. 25 July 2005: Even though my parents got married as co-workers, it's not always a good idea, especially if you're afraid of discomfort. If you wanna go for it, then you need a new approach cuz this subtle watching isn't giving you anything. You could try to go ... (read in full...)
For six years I've been having a sexual relationship with my aunt!
Q. Dear agony aunt, I am a 25 year old guy and a few years ago I noticed my aunt (48) was flirting with me quite a lot. I have been attracted to her for some time but have controlled it. Anyway we would be alone and she would casually touch me or gi...
A. 25 July 2005: This is about your family, and only your family. The friggin bizarre thing you have going with your aunt can only hurt. If this comes to light, your entire family will feel the shame and pain, not just you. Besides, there's plenty of hotter ... (read in full...)
I like to think my cousin and I are smart, pretty and sweet, so how come we can't attract guys?
Q. Is it just me or am I repulsive? I have the worst time with guys. Like my cuz, both of us only attract losers or no guys at all and we are both pretty, smart and we are nice and sweet but we - me especially - never get noticed by guys. What's wr...
A. 24 July 2005: I agree with communicatrix. All you really need to do is relax and be sure of yourself. You're only attracting losers maybe because you won't meet the guys you want half way. If you expect guys to just come up in a circle and start drooling, you ... (read in full...)
I don't know anything about this girl... except that I want to ask her out!
Q. How do I ask a girl out? There is a girl and all I know is her name - but I think she has given me flirty looks. (think). But I know nothing else but her age and where she lives. It's driving me mad - I want to go out with her!...
A. 24 July 2005: Hey, man. Don't do what I did and waste half of highschool windowshopping. I call it that because that's what it is. Say you're in the mall looking at stuff you want. Some things you really want, some you know you don't, and the rest you glance ... (read in full...)
Due to be married in 9 months, but I'm falling for a co-worker instead!
Q. I got engaged 5 months ago to my long term girlfriend. We are due to get married in about 9 months. In the last two months I have met a girl at work, who has been there for a while, but now I have very strong feelings for her. The worst of it is...
A. 24 July 2005: Well, you still have nine months to straighten things out. You can't help your feelings, but you can control your actions. You're not doing anything wrong now. Don't act on what you feel now without breaking it off with your fiancee. It would ... (read in full...)
Cheated on my boyfriend of 2 weeks with his friend... and I might be pregnant!
Q. I don't know what to do. I'm going out with my best friend and weve been going out for 2 weeks. I cheated on him a week ago with his friend and I had a big crush on him and now it hurts me to even look at my boyfriend cause I made a mistake. And not ...
A. 24 July 2005: The first thing you have to do is get over what happened as best you can. Life doesn't give a damn if you're hurt, if you made a mistake, or if you're lost. It goes on. As for your situation, it sounds very awkward and painful, but I will urge ... (read in full...)
He seems to go out of his way to insult me. Why am I with him?
Q. I have recently marrried a man who seem seems hell bent on insulting me. Last night I asked him if he was talking to a dog and he said "you are a do". Last week he said his friends said I look ten years older than I am and why is he with me. H...
A. 24 July 2005: I know you married him for some reason. He must have treated you right then. I suspect that he is being influenced by an outside source, maybe his friends. If you just take his insults and say nothing, then he won't get the point. You gotta be ... (read in full...)
No sex, because my boyfriend is too tired or stressed. Help!
Q. In love, but have no sex life! My boyfirend and I have been going out for 8 months. He's turning 24 and I'm 21. Although we have only been together for a short time we are very close- we talk about everything, spend heaps of time together and were...
A. 24 July 2005: I know through past pain that is a bad situation to be in. It is painful because you doubt he still gets turned on by you and wonder what you did to set this all off. Filled with anxiety because you don't know what to do or not to do to get make ... (read in full...)
My tears during sex turned to laughter... What was going on?
Q. Hi I have a problem. The last time me and my boyfriend had sex, I found myself crying. The crying soon turned to laughter as I became hysterical from the shock of it all. Please help, is this normal? My boyfriend was very concerned, and I...
A. 17 July 2005: Maybe that's just you. Not everything needs to be psycho analyzed, especially sex. You're supposed to be able to let go of yourself and scream to high hell if you want ;) I don't think you should stress, but if it's that big a deal you could ... (read in full...)
Kissing doesn't do anything for me, but I don't want to hurt my boyfriend, who loves it!
Q. Ok, basically my problem is that I don't like kissing (on mouth), it really does nothing for me. Recently I have started seeing this guy who seems to love kissing, he's 18 and has been in serious relationships before whereas I never have (I'm 16). ...
A. 17 July 2005: I've never heard of any couple with perfect chemistry. Maybe there are some, but most people are like you and I, with opposing desires with their sig others. You should just tell him, because nothing physical ever works out unless both people want ... (read in full...)
She's a special girl to me, but she's a virgin... and wants to stay that way!
Q. I used to be a guy that dates lots of girls till I met this girl. We have been dating for a while now and I really love her. But she is a virgin and has refused to make love to me. I have tried to be faithful but I am at my ends. What do I do? ...
A. 5 June 2005: There may be nothing you can do about it. You two might not work out, because you have big differences on something so crucial in a relationship. If you can't stand having to wait for as long as she does, then you gotta end it. Does she want to ... (read in full...)
| *appyTimeHarry's friends
These are mutual friends, so *appyTimeHarry has
added them and they have added *appyTimeHarry!
|
