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female
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anonymous
writes: HiI have a problem. The last time me and my boyfriend had sex, I found myself crying. The crying soon turned to laughter as I became hysterical from the shock of it all. Please help, is this normal? My boyfriend was very concerned, and I need to explain to him that he wasn't the cause of the tears. But the problem is, even I don't know what was the cause. Please help before I get dumped. Emotional Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2005): Hey There, really don;t think you should worry to much. The same thing has happened to me on more than one occasion. It is not because I am sad or in any kinda pain. Its just the emotions of your body. I tend to cry after an enormous orgasm and something just releases.
I think if you explain to your bf that they are not tears of sadness by any means, they just show that you can be an emotionall person at times.it also helps that if you do cry than hold tight to him, my bf understands that its not him. It doesn't happen to me very often so hopefully you won't have to explain yourself to much!
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reader, becky05 +, writes (17 July 2005):
I have heard that many people do this. Its supposed to be something to do with the emotion of having sex. Dont worry about it. If your boyfriend would dump you over something so trivial, are you sure hes the right one for you?
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reader, HappyTimeHarry +, writes (17 July 2005):
Maybe that's just you. Not everything needs to be psycho analyzed, especially sex. You're supposed to be able to let go of yourself and scream to high hell if you want ;) I don't think you should stress, but if it's that big a deal you could always say it was something crazy that happened out of nowhere and hold back next time. I gotta say, if it happened to me it would be weird the first time but I could get used to it if that is the way the person is. Everyone will eventually do something really awkward, clumsy, or embarrassing in bed but it is actually a bit of a relaxer because then everything doesn't HAVE to be smooth and perfect. Point is, I know it seems bad but it's not a big deal at all. You'll both get over it and laugh later.
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reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (17 July 2005):
 Hi there, first of all, dont worry, you wont get dumped!! Very unlikely!! Your boyfriend is very concerned about what happened that day because he was trying to understand what was going on, if anything, it shows he really loves you.
Well, to begin with, there arent enough details in your post to tell you if its normal or not. Has this been occuring often? Why did you started crying initially? Was it because the penetration hurt? Or was it something emotional? Most likely, I would think its something to do with what you were feeling at that time. You have to dig deep and ask yourself what made you cry. Usually when someone laughs right after crying, its due to the fact that theres a battle between the heart and the mind. The heart usually initiates the crying but the mind subconsciously creates the feeling that crying shows fear, lack of confidence, sad, dissapointed, etc, thus, sends signals to the heart to counter react the crying. Sometimes, you'll still cry, and sometimes you just burst into laughter. Bear in mind though, this laughter isn't laughter of joy. You dont feel happy when you cry at a time like this, instead you'll feel all uneasy and confused, but yes, its natural for something like this happen.
I would suggest that you sit your bf down and tell him that you need to dig deep why you cried. And explain to him the scientific bit of what I just told you. Im sure if he's open enough, he'll understand you. Even if he doesn't, I wouldn't worry too much about it if I were you. Hope this helps.
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