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male
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anonymous
writes: I got engaged 5 months ago to my long term girlfriend. We are due to get married in about 9 months. In the last two months I have met a girl at work, who has been there for a while, but now I have very strong feelings for her. The worst of it is I know I feel for her from my heart, the kind of way I felt for my fiancee when I met her years ago. I feel terrible. I love my fiancee but I can't get this other girl out of my head. I'm not sure if its a passing thing or not. I know my fiancee deserves better but I can't stop thinking about it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2007): I think that you should not marry your soon to be wife,only because your not being true not only to her but to y our self as well dont get married because later on down the line your going to end up not being so faitfull just let your women know how you feel, tell her you love her but also let her know that you had gotten scard. but you do not want to get your self into something that you know in your heart that you are not ready for. good luck and i hope all works out with you.,hey or maybe you do not like the other girl maybe you feeling will go away with time who know .
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2005): Stop the engagement and get your ring back. You are not in the right mindset to make a lifelong committment. You are engaged to marry a woman who’s crazy about you, but you know she may not be enough for you You have to stop leading her on which is giving her hope by staying when you secretly long to be with someone else. I know you claim you don’t want to hurt her, but the truth is that every minute you steal from her life is hurting her; every moment when she lies next to you, believing she is safe and secure in your love is hurting her; every time you selfishly decide to stay one more week or year since you’re enjoying yourself, knowing that you’re staying on false pretenses, you’re hurting her.
Tell her the truth. Let her know you are not ready for marriage before large amounts of money and exhausting hours of planning & energy is put into organizing a wedding.
This woman wants the same thing most women want: to find a partner she can trust to love, honor and cherish her, and to live with that person happily and faithfully for the rest of her life. Believe me, your girlfriend never secretly dreamt that , one day, she’d meet a man who would mislead her into believing she’d finally found her soul mate, only to discover after several years that he’d known all along she wasn’t “the one”, but never got around to telling her. That is every woman’s nightmare, not every woman’s fantasy.
Cut her loose..you likely will hurt her...that something that cannot be helped. If she's a strong girl, she will carry on and forge ahead without you. Please, take some time to examine your own heart and soul before you get involved with another woman.
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (24 July 2005):
 I think Harry is spot on. You need time to reflect away from the situation maybe to see wha you really want. Only you can decide. Dont throw away what could potentially be the best thing in you life because something else seemed to look rosier. Its not always greener the other side! Do think abou this carefully, its not just you involved in this its your fiancee too.. she has no idea whats going on and is probably blissfully happy that the 2 of you are soon to be married. think about her and how you really feel about her, its better to have doubts now rather than a year or two down the line... take time to reflect and you will know in your heart what the right thing to do is.
Good luck.
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reader, HappyTimeHarry +, writes (24 July 2005):
Well, you still have nine months to straighten things out. You can't help your feelings, but you can control your actions. You're not doing anything wrong now. Don't act on what you feel now without breaking it off with your fiancee. It would also be a bad idea to get married in this state of mind. Better to break off an engagement than end up cheating on your wife and getting divorced. I know it sounds stupid, but go fishing, go camping, pray, meditate, or do whatever you do to relax and think. The answer to your question is inside, not what anyone would have you believe. You just gotta get in tune and listen to it.
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