A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My Fiancé and I have been together for four years and from day one I have had a problem with his female best friend. I'm not normally a jealous person and he has other female friends and i've hated myself for being so bothered by her. I've tried with this girl, I have tried to be her friend too and see what he sees in her but I just can't! She's generally not a nice person. It's started to get to the point where he's making more of an effort to see her than me and crapping on his other friends for her to get her way, he puts up with things from her that he would NEVER put up with from me. I know he loves me and he wants to be with me but I just feel really low about this, i'm starting to feel second best and like she has some kind of hold on him.I'm never going to tell him not to see one of his friends but I don't know what to do because I feel so low.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): Why wouldn't you tell him not to see a girl friend? Most men in a commited relationship would not jeopardize their primary relationship for a female friend. If he is doing the things you claim he is, I would be suspicious that they are more than friends, maybe even F... Buddies, and this is the reason she is not very friendly to you, she's jealous.
Stand up for what you want, tell him to chose either you or her because you aren't going to put up with how much emotional energy and time away from your relationship that this woman requires. People have only so much time in a day and your relationship is suffering because he can't let her go.
Be prepared to walk away from this situation. Really, do you want a lifetime of this?
A
female
reader, Emmy-Lou  +, writes (24 March 2008):
 Be straight and tell your fiance exactly how your feeling. You should not feel like 2nd best for anyone!
Your fiance obviously has no idea how your feeling as he would not openly hurt you like this.
Explain that you feel left out and he is cutting you out. He may be spending more time with her but just not realising how much more time.
The only way to solve the problem is to be honest and tell him that you feel isolated!
Hope this helps and good luck.
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