A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Does any of the ladies out there feel that when sex goes on for more than 2 hours it becomes boring and tedious and repetitive? I lose interest in having sex around an hour into the act, and I start to dry up and just want the guy to finish up. And when I told the guy about this, he said he has not heard of anyone say this before, because in his opinion, the longer is always better for the ladies. The longer is NOT better, especially when most girls don't get off solely on vaginal with minimal clitoral stimulation. Another question I have for the guys is that can you guys control when you want to orgasm? I ask this because a lot of the times when me and my guy are having sex under time constraint (gotta go to work etc) he seems to always be able to cum within that period. But when we go at it without any time limit he would go on forever and even when I ask him to finish up sometimes he would be so exhausted physically that we would just leave it without him coming to a climax. I just find that a bit strange.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mrs. peabody  +, writes (12 April 2008):
I myself have a very high sex drive & my husband used to, I'm 46, he's 51, but doesn't look it, he used to want sex as much as me, he quit drinking 6 yrs ago, but still liked sex, now he says it's not that important, but it is to me, I think we should have it 3-4 times a week, he doesn't. I don't want to cheat on him or use a toy, I shouldn't have to if a man is around, is there anything to give him to make him feel more into sex, I wonder.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): I know what you mean - and some women do get a bit dry after an hour, but others can just keep going and going. It depends on your sex life I think. If you have all the time in the world, then its easier to go for longer because you're relaxed, and especially if its exciting, different or kinky. So if you find yourself getting a bit bored, try introducing a new toy, position or game for the next time.
Aaand obviously I'm not a guy, but they can control it, yep. Or most guys can anyways.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (22 March 2008):
 Other aunts have already answered the questions you asked, and I don't think I could add anything to that. However, I would like you to think beyond the questions.
What you have here is a young man who can sustain intercourse long enough, who nonetheless fails at giving you satisfaction because, as he summarized it, "the longer, the better". He thinks that pleasing a woman is just a matter of lasting longer. Before anyone answered your question, you knew that perfectly well. I think you should talk to him about this. Tell him that you have told us. That way, he can improve his lovemaking, and that would be good for the two of you.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (22 March 2008):
 There is a certain thought among men that they gotta last. Women after all are slower then men and you don't wannabe Mr. 20 seconds.
So, the longer the better, the reasoning then goes.
Women feel differently, as you say, vaginal intercourse isn't all that, especially if he thinks it is about staying power, not how it feels for her. Females do get sore, and well if it ain't doing anything for you the lubrication will dry up or perhaps you have become de-hydrated.
Lets face it, intercourse is ramming a hard object into soft tissue. 2 hours of it would get anyone down.
As for controlling orgasm, sure we can. We have too. Two reasons, the longer the build up (within reason, not two hours certainly) the bigger the orgasm and the most important.
You do not want to be the guy that comes in his pants or the moment he enters the girl. If you ever laughed at a guy for that happening with you, well congrats, you made an other guy who thinks stamina is all.
Porn is another factor, the movie is cut to show the male giving endless intercourse and offcourse the female seems to enjoy it all. Even if as you said, clit stimulation is completly absent. Typical porn is blowjob, vaginal, anal, facial.
As for him not being able to come, that again is not that strange. There is such a thing as over stimulation where it all just becomes insensitive.
Your boyfriend has simple come to believe that stamina is all that counts. It should be clear that it is not because if he gave you two hours of good stimulation you would be dead.
Odd thing, when I was younger you heard a lot about pre-mature ejaculation, but not seen a single question on that subject yet. Ah well, you just got a guy who is overcompensating who needs to learn that pure intercourse isn't your cup of tea. Not for two hours at least.
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A
female
reader, AuntYvi  +, writes (22 March 2008):
I wanted to put in a little respons to your second query:
Men can control it just like we do. If your thinking horny, your feeling horny and you know the objective is orgasim and you focus on the glory, you cum! Its the same for them I think, and they get the extra benefit of our spasms, and then we get the extra benefit of theirs and so on... :-) But I'm sure they'll put their own replys.
Anyone can learn to control their thoughts and bodys, with practice, allowing them to be more open and susceptible to the orgasim. But the position has to hit the spot as well!
AuntYvi
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008): Hi Hunny
I prefere yes say a night of passion but not just the one time that goes on when I need to read the paper in between and think of my shopping list!!!:} I like a night of many times the more the better and its really important to me that I pleasure my fella so to make him orgasm is as important to me as it is to him..Thats a huge turn on for me...I hope that helps hunny, I had a b/f once who used to brag he could go all night and OH MY!!! couldnt he just it bored the pants of me literally, And I had to tell him I couldnt see him anymore as the sex side was all about his stamina and that seemed more important to him than any other pleasure even though I told him what I liked as well.. its important to be honest and up front to start with, as then you both no what each other likes. But no he was like a long distance runner BLESS HIM!!!!!!Thats all he used to talk about so it wasnt just me being mean as the sex wasnt good it was other stuff to...I HOPE THAT HELPS HUNNY TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOTS OF LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, Emmy-Lou  +, writes (22 March 2008):
 It's true, most women like the fast and short version of sex. We like it to be rampant and passionate not lying there counting the patches on the ceiling or wondering if you have to wait much longer will you fall asleep.
And in terms with men, yes they can control when they orgasm, they usually focus their minds on something quite boring or completely unsexual so they can go for longer. It seems unfair that they can do, but we can't!
Hope this helps.
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