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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi cupids,I have been seeing a guy on and off for 6 mths. It started as I met him thru a guy I was seeing - me and the 1st guy only met up a few times, never slept together and it didn't work out, no hard feelings. However me and his friend clicked right away and we got on well, one night we got it together and started seeing each other for some months. Then I got an email out of the blue after he had been acting weird saying that he had to tell me about a girl, she didn't live local but she had now moved to be with him, so they were gonna make a go of things, I didn't react badly I just said 'fair enough'. We decided to stay friends. I went on holiday came back and he started messaging me loads - this was a month after we stopped seeing one another. He asked me to go away with him. I didn't as I was confused - so he went away and came back then said he wanted to see me. I did and he said he wasn't happy with the girl who had moved and he missed me, so we starting seeing each other again. But I found out by accident that he is quite a player, he left messages open on his computer and there were so many to girls and from girls.Things started to go quite wrong - it was always a problem with us as his mate never liked us seeing each other cause I was seeing him first and it caused problems between them, the guy I ended up seeing does not any guts and was too wimpy to admit 'sorry I like her'! Another problem. He then said as well as this being a problem he doesn't really want a girlfriend or to be with anyone. He says this then he usually comes back. Happened recently and he told me he wanted us to go away together and he missed me etc, we did sleep together (silly me) but afterwards he was still lovely. But it got worse. A friend invited him to a leaving party of mine (not to go abroad)and he replied saying he didn't wanna give me the wrong idea, so prob shouldn't come then totally slated me saying we only meet up when we are wasted, which is so untrue. Why did he say all these things to me then totally slag me off to a friend who he hardly knows? I know he does like me as he is always telling me and there is a way you act around someone you like a lot. I am 27 and not stupid. I said I didn't wanna spk to him again after this, thing is tho I am likely to see him at some point as we are mates with some of same people. What should I do? I think of him a lot and am so hurt by the terrible things he said, which were mostly a lie! Thanks for any help. xx
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female
reader, Emmy-Lou  +, writes (20 March 2008):
 It sounds like you have had a horrible experience.He sounds like the kind of man who is trying to keep up appearances for his mates and may be embarrased by your relationship.Next time you know your going to see him, spend hours preparing yourself and look as completely irresistable as you can. Then we you see him, try and flirt with someone in front of him, this way he will see that you are too good for him. It may not feel nice to do it but in the end you will feel a whole lot better for doing it as you will have won and you will be more confident when it comes to men treating you in the wrong way.Hope this helps and good luck.
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