How to help my friend escape her abusive ex...
Q. My Friend is looking to move because her abusive husband is being realesed from prison he was sent down for battering her and the youngest of her 3 kids now after 8 months he's coming out before christmas and she is petrified he will come after her ...
A. 10 November 2008: Get on to your local victim support charity as they will have a list of charities with all the info on what is available to help her.
In the mean time make sure that her locks are changed and she has a bolt fitted so she feels a bit more secure. ... (read in full...)
I am finding it increasingly difficult to stay on top of things.
Q. I was made redundant nearly 8 months ago now, and despite applying for numerous jobs and attending many interviews I have been unable to find work. I had clinical depression many years ago and am worried that the constant rejection is going to tip ...
A. 10 November 2008: Ah the wonder of unemployment. I did it for 8 weeks and was suicidal so I really know how hard it is... don't even get me started on jobcentreplus!!
You say that you have all the paper work but not the relevant experience. I had a huge argument... (read in full...)
How old do you have to be to have foreplay?
Q. Me and my girlfreind are so close its unreal, she says she'd have sex but I think it's a bit too soon, but I'd be up for anything else (blowjob, finger etc..). Does anyone know what the BRITISH age limit is for foreplay? Please reply. Thanks...
A. 9 November 2008: As long as you are the same age then there is no rule.
The police will only care what you get up to if one of you is over 16 and the other is under... Or one of you is under 18 and the other is in a position of responsibility.
Since you are... (read in full...)
What can I get my 16-year-old boyfriend for Christmas?
Q. hiya its almost christmas!!! and my boyfrind has already brought me a gift and i have no idea what to get him he's 16 and it so difficult on what to decide on what to get him its our 2nd christmas together weve been together for a lil ova a...
A. 9 November 2008: They are selling a build your own lightsaber kit in Woolworths for £32.
I can't wait to see my hubbies face when he plays with it on Xmas morning. He's so cute.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
Epilepsy Advice
Q. Im so depressed and annoyed. Im a very self conscious person who had epilepsy as a child. It left me as an adolescent thankfully, but in the last 3 years, my seizures have returned so I have been diagnosed with epilepsy again. Unfortunately I had ...
A. 9 November 2008: Seeing a seizure makes you realise how they could believe someone was possessed back in the old days.
There is no way anyone is going to laugh at you because they will just have been freaked out by it.
My friend who has them says she just fe... (read in full...)
What type of guy asks this so early on?
Q. A guy that I see at my job occasionally asked me out a few months ago and at the time I was seeing someone else so I wasn't that interested but he's a really nice guy so I explained my situation and we still talked occasionally through texts and ...
A. 9 November 2008: What??
He didn't ask you to marry him!
He just wanted to know if you actually want to be his girlfriend or whether you want to see other people or whether you just see this as a bit of fun.
He's asking where he stands and I really real... (read in full...)
My ex has had a major serious accident and I need to see him!
Q. I came out of a 3 year relationship about 6 months ago. Me and the guy remained friends. Thing is, now he's gone and had a serious accident!!! I mean major! He's in a critical state and I can't go see him:-( His family never acccepted me and...
A. 9 November 2008: Go to the hospital and if there is no one with him, ask the staff if you can visit.
It may be it's only family allowed in as that way they limit the amount of people that can bring in all the germs from the outside world.
If you do go rememb... (read in full...)
What would REALLY put guys off a girl?
Q. A quick question, just out of interest :) Guys, what would really put you off a girl? ...
A. 9 November 2008: I've found that guys don't like it when you stab them and put glass in their food.....
What do you actually want from this question?
Don't be a horrible person and then people will not think you are horrible.
It's not rocket science.
G... (read in full...)
We've been having a tense relationship, any way to make him stay?
Q. My boyfriend has recently been really ill and me being me i am really clumsy. we were play fighting when he was tickiling me i would wave my hands about and it hit him and he was hurt due to his illness. He went in a really bad mood, which i ...
A. 9 November 2008: He's a jerk. You can't change a jerk.
You can either stay with the jerk and accept he is going to be horrible to you and make you feel like crap all the time.
Or you can grow up, dump his arse, and get a boyfriend who didn't crawl out from u... (read in full...)
How can I stop him interfering in my life?
Q. my story my ex husband and I got divorced after his mulitples affairs , we have a four year old daughter, he is always making me feel like I cant have a life and uses our daughter against me every chance he gets. I want to move on but every chance...
A. 9 November 2008: The only reason he is stopping you from going out on dates is because you keep letting him.
You know what he is doing so why do you keep getting upset by him? When he starts on his "you're a bad mother" bit then just laugh and hang up and go out! ... (read in full...)
Best friend room mate or undercover lovers?
Q. okay my question is - I am dating a woman that lives with her best friend but the kicker is this my girl waits on this waman, go everywhere together and the room mate comes home from work and ask my girl to go get her some beer. I am a little ...
A. 9 November 2008: She's just really close to her friend.
Try just asking her to spend some time just the 2 of you.
And tell her that you want to meet her parents for the first time alone and not just as an extra friend.
Make it clear that you are not asking ... (read in full...)
I've kept it to myself long enough and I'm to that point of reporting him for harassment.
Q. I need some advice or suggestions on how to go about this. My daughter's dad have been emailing me at work regarding our daughter's medical statements in which I've given many copies per court. I've even made a folder for it. Keep in mind, I'...
A. 9 November 2008: Why can't you just ignore his emails? Why do you feel you have to take time to read and reply?
Keep them but only reply at the end of the day when you have a moment.
You also have at no point said that you have told him strongly, leave ... (read in full...)
I've thinking about my life and I don't really know what I want anymore and it's scaring me.
Q. I've always been the type that likes to set big goals and work for them. Lately I've thinking about my life and I don't really know what I want anymore. It's scaring me. I'm upset and I can't imagine what would make me unupset. Seriously, if a genie ...
A. 9 November 2008: Work hard to save enough cash to go Travelling.
See some of the world. Find people who you admire and find out what kind of jobs make you think "I want to do that."
You are really young so this is nothing to panic about.
Expand your hor... (read in full...)
Why am I not being trusted ?
Q. my fiance doesn't trusts me. he says i am not virgin after he knew i had boyfriend n we were still friends n also go to his house. to prove myself i had sex wid him n i bleede but he still wants proof n says i have soft breast n did not bleede when ...
A. 9 November 2008: You have done everything you can to prove it.
This is his problem not yours.
He hasn't exactly married you to secure you so why should you have to prove yourself to him.
It sounds like he just said all that to make you have sex with him.
... (read in full...)
I embarrassed her. Does this mean we are thru ?
Q. Me and my girlfriend got drunk tonight we ended up making out. One thing lead another and I pull off her shirt but it stuck to her bra strap. me being quite drunk pulling harder thinking it would come with it. But some padding fell out. I said " ...
A. 9 November 2008: Yep, that was a horrible hurtful thing to say, especially when you were doing something so intimate.
I'd dump you.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
Does it seem like we'd make a cute couple?
Q. hey. my problem involves me and my friend nathan. i'll tell you now it's a very long story. me and him are in our high school band together but i'm a freshman and he's a eighth grader. well anyway yesterday, we had an away game and i sat by him on ...
A. 8 November 2008: I can't say whether you'd be a cute couple.... I cant see you.
If you like each other and your friend is not going to feel hurt and betrayed by it then go out with him.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
My virginity is getting in the way!
Q. I'm 26 years old and still a virgin. I'm not saving it for any reason, it just hasn't happened (which is weird I know). I really want to have a healthy sex life at my age. I'm still single, and not really concerned about being in a relationship, so ...
A. 8 November 2008: To be honest I think at your age, unless you live like a nun, your hymen is probably long gone.
Tampons, bikes, anything like that will damage it so it's probably un-noticable to any man.
Go for the guy you like and don't worry about it.
Goo... (read in full...)
Fighting isolation
Q. I work from home and my company has gone virtual. Married but long for hellos during the work day, and almost find myself curiously attracted to telemarketers. Participate in things outside home but the work time is getting tough. DR...
A. 8 November 2008: Well if you work in the virtual world can you take long lunch breaks and meet a friend for lunch?
My friend works from home and I meet her for coffee in town a couple of days a week. She can just start a bit earlier as she doesn't have to commute ... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting? Should I forgive and forget?
Q. I just recently got married. Less than 6 months. My husband and I are saving to buy a house. So in the meantime, we are trying to save money and are living with his parents. It's not the worst of things but sometimes I feel trapped in "his life", ...
A. 8 November 2008: Wow, you'd rather him spend $100 on a taxi to get home to you, than sleep on a male friend's sofa? Or do you think you should only have friend in a 5 mile radius?
I know you feel trapped and that it is hard for you (a week maximum is how long I c... (read in full...)
He likes looking at pornographic pictures of women with VERY large breasts. I have small breasts. Do I put up with this or move on ?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm writing in because my boyfriend has a porn addiction. He's been trying to break the addiction for almost 6 months but he hasn't done well. He's trying, but keeps slipping back into the habit. I'm trying to be supportive of his ...
A. 8 November 2008: You say you are reliant on him. Why? I think you are only reliant on him because your self esteem is so low.
So many women in the world survive without your boyfriend, why can't you be one of them?
I think you know deep down he has no intention... (read in full...)
How do I know its going to work now?
Q. Hello I have been in a 5 year relationship with a man, things have been great, we have had our ups and downs like most couples. i feel like this person is my soul mate, and he has told me that his love for me is deep too. we recently came back ...
A. 8 November 2008: Well you know as much as I do that saying "are you sure you want to do this - you hate me really don't you!!!!!!!!!" is going to get really annoying really fast.
Talk to him about what it is that gave him doubts and focus your efforts on that.
... (read in full...)
Advice on calmly bringing up a problem with boyfriend?
Q. My problem is that my boyfriend doesn't reply to texts if he's out having a good time. When he goes away for a weekend or just a night with friends/work he won't bother to text me back if I text him for example asking if his gig went well. This u...
A. 8 November 2008: If he is in a club or at a gig then he is going to have NO WAY of hearing his phone to know you have texted.
Why not just gently ask him to check his phone when he's on his way home and send you a text to tell you he's ok and had a good time.
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend dictating having a break caught me unawares… Should I trust his reasons and wait for him or protect myself and try to have some fun on the side?
Q. I am so confused and need help. My long term boyfriend has asked for a break recently. We have been fighting because of being frustrated with life issues ( we work opposite shitfs, we don't get to see each other that much, he still lives in at his ...
A. 8 November 2008: Hang on slow down, you love him you love him you live him... you want to have sex with someone else?
He's asked for a break so he can get his head together, to see if getting away from the fighting is a huge relief or to see if he really misses y... (read in full...)
I broke up with my boyfriend of two and a half years last October. I found out that he'd been lying to me the whole time and cheated with lots of different women. Now he calls me all the time. Help !
Q. Hi everyone, I really am just heartbroken right now and have noone else to talk to about this. I broke up with my boyfriend of two and a half years last October. I found out that he'd been lying to me the whole time and cheated with lots of dif...
A. 8 November 2008: I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's not your fault. Some men are just utter creeps and you were unlucky to find one.
You have done the right thing by blocking him from contacting you.
Do you have any friends you could talk to about this? E... (read in full...)
Why do people settle for second best in office romance situations?
Q. ...so frustrating. I'm single. I've just found out that this woman at work I've fancied for years is having a ding-dong with a guy who sits virtually right next to her. I'm the other side of the building. Why do people settle for second best / the ...
A. 8 November 2008: So you never spoke to her and never asked her out and now that is HER fault because she was not psychic enough to realise that the perfect guy for her was on the other side of the building???
Seriously?
Yes she's probably sleeping with th... (read in full...)
Two miscarriages in two months, will I be able to have kids in the future?
Q. Hi! The majority of anyone who reads this will more than likely think that this is crazy and that I should be happy. I'm 19 years old and live with my boyfriend we have been together for quite some time but we are still young. Just a few days ago, ...
A. 8 November 2008: You say you suppose you miscarried... did you not dash to a hospital? Is that not really dangerous? Could it actually be a bad period caused by some kind of hormonal imbalance is you didn't get checked out?
No one is going to say you should b... (read in full...)
Should I insist on him calling me once in awhile?
Q. I live in Guam and my boyfriend lives in Hawaii, but in 4 months he will be out here again for work. We plan on moving together and eventually marrying. In the mean time our only mode of communication is chat email while he is at work or calling ...
A. 8 November 2008: Hmmm, mobiles are really not that expensive to buy if he just gets a basic one. Is he really that badly paid that he can't get a personal one and then not give the number out to anyone?
If you are the one spending ALL the money then I would sa... (read in full...)
How do I tell him I have hepatitis?
Q. what is the best way to tell my boyfriend of seven months i have hep c? we are both virgins...no drugs etc. ...
A. 8 November 2008: You just have to tell him that you need to talk to him, and that you have something to say that may change the way he feels.
Then just tell him straight. I have this disease, this is how I got it, and this is what it means for us.
You mig... (read in full...)
He wants to watch me having sex with another man! What does this say about him??
Q. My boyfriend wants to watch me have sex with another man. This is disgusting. Of course I won't do it. The question is, what does this indicate about a man's character, or even, future? [Added from the same user] Does my boyfriend's obsessio...
A. 8 November 2008: Aren't you the same woman who's being pressured for anal and also going out with a liar?
If so then seriously, move on. How many different reasons do you need to split up with this guy?
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
Is it me or the other girls?
Q. I have a slight problem.... Some reason, i get along with guys more often then other women. Im not a huge fan of attention; i hate being babied when im hurt. Im not trying to cause a problem or anything, i mean i would be talking to a guy then along ...
A. 8 November 2008: Well if over half your guy friends like you then you are obviously a bit flirty.
If you are a girl in a group and you are just one of the guys then they tend not to see you in that way.
If you are the girl in the group that all the guys want to... (read in full...)
How do you get on with a liar?
Q. HE LIES ABOUT EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING! He lies about his feelings, where he has been, how many drinks he's had, what he does on the computer, if he has a crush on a girl, if he macked chicks at a party, what he really wants, how he feels about me, ...
A. 8 November 2008: He's crucifying you because he has a guilty conscience.
Just laugh at everything he says and be completely disbelieving.
him: "I only had 1 drink"
you: "So 5 then."
him: "no no I only had 1"
you: "yes dear." pat him on the head and walk off... (read in full...)
How can someone change their outlook on life so quickly...?
Q. 9 months ago my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me. We lived together for the 2nd half of our relationship. While we were together he told me that marriage scared him; he would need to know someone for a very long time (and live with ...
A. 8 November 2008: Wow, I guess she just knew how to control him with emotional blackmail.
Where as you actually let him have a mind and opinions of his own.
Don't think of it as a bad judgement on you. Think of it as a sign he was stupid enough to lose you and ... (read in full...)
I just kicked my boyfriend out of the house for trying to choke me!
Q. Confused, just kicked my boyfriend of 3 years out my house cuz he tried choking me 2x's with my kids in the house. I know he loves me cuz he tells me but why should I want this man back in my life being that he has a short temper, violent and I have ...
A. 8 November 2008: You did the absolutly 100% right thing.
Your boys are getting to the age now where they look at how you and your partners act to see how they should treat a women.
If they get a sniff of the fact that he got forgiven and his own way through ... (read in full...)
My father is the most annoying person I ever met!
Q. Hey, my father is the most annoying person I ever met, he wants to know why I have a piercing in my ear, according to him only homosexuals have it there, am I wrong for telling him he has to learn how to be a better father instead of worring of ...
A. 8 November 2008: Dad's have some very good advice to give about life as they have been there and done a lot.
They also have a lot of rubbish that they like to make everyone listen to.
You are getting to the age now where as there are 2 men in the house he is ... (read in full...)
Earlier today he asked me if him and one of his friends could..."play" with me
Q. My boyfriend asked me to dress in something sexy before we..."play".....but other then langerie what else is there? Earlier today he asked me if him and one of his friends could..."play" with me....um..what do I say? I wouldnt really mind it... but ...
A. 8 November 2008: He does seem to treat you to a sex object that he can tell what to wear and pass round to his friends.
Do not do anything you aren't comfortable with because NO man is worth that.
Do you really want to be with a guy like this?
In my o... (read in full...)
My mom wants to talk to my "online friend/boyfriend" -- what do I do?
Q. When I lived in a different state, this guy and I met online. I was 17 and he was 19. The relationship--should it become physical (and it did)--was ENTIRELY legal as the age of consent there was 16. He went to U of M and ended up driving to my to...
A. 8 November 2008: Do I plan on meeting him again? No. Am I in love with him? No. Could I see myself spending my life with him? No.
Why don't you tell you mum that you have decided all this.
As long as she knows it's all just online chat then she might be re-... (read in full...)
Is there any chance that he MIGHT actually like me and not JUST want sex?
Q. Sorry so long! I met this guy back in April. He's 24, I'm 20. He was my manager at the clothing store I worked at. Long story short, we became friends (we had a ton in common) and we always hung out/talked, etc, at the store, but never outside be...
A. 8 November 2008: Don't do it sweetie.
If you had had relationships before and were experienced with men and sex then you could be his sex buddy.
My friend lost her virginity to the guy she had a HUGE crush on. Then continued to have sex with him through summ... (read in full...)
In his cupboard I found butt plugs, a mouth gag, huge dildos, handcuffs, double penetration toys and other things...
Q. My boyfriend has a cupboard in his bedroom which he locked. In it I found butt plugs, a mouth gag, huge dildos, handcuffs, double penetration toys and other things I can't even put a name too. I haven't said anything to him, but it's put me right ...
A. 8 November 2008: I think that without breaking into his fetish-cupboard you have already discovered that you are not going to be compatible sexually.
And unfortunately that can mean a relationship is never going to be completely happy.
I am the same as you - an... (read in full...)
I don't know how to date any more.
Q. Ok, here I am once again needing your advice. I really like this guy I'm seeing, we've known each other for about 4 months and have been dating about 2 months now and I really want to tell him how I feel but am scared that he will run to the ...
A. 8 November 2008: Is does sound like he either wants to take things slow (so that you won't turn into a huge divorce later down the line) or that he is not really ready to date and move on fully yet but really likes you so has struck this compromise.
I think yo... (read in full...)
Men and Commitment
Q. What is it about commitment that some men fear? I'm just trying to understand, because the guy I was with had commitment issues, and wouldn't even try and talk or explain himself to me. Is it the increase in responsibility? Fear of getting ...
A. 8 November 2008: I'd say all the reasons below PLUS.... You are 18 to 21.
What guy wants to be thinking about marriage and worse, KIDS at that age?
He hasn't got anywhere in life yet and kids really really limit what you can do.
I married quite young (23)... (read in full...)
He says he cares about me but keeps doing strange things.
Q. i have been talking to this guys for about a year, we do not have an official title because he is scared of commitment, but whenever i decide to talk or just hang out with someone else he does not necessarily confront me, but then he act strange ...
A. 8 November 2008: It sounds like he wants it both ways.
He's jealous when you see other people yet refuses to commit. And I think "going out of town" might involve other women so be careful.
You can only go so far trying to get a guy before it just becomes hop... (read in full...)
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