A
female
age
41-50,
*ybercyr
writes:I live in Guam and my boyfriend lives in Hawaii, but in 4 months he will be out here again for work. We plan on moving together and eventually marrying. In the mean time our only mode of communication is chat email while he is at work or calling him on his cell phone, but only when he is at work and only when he is not busy. He refuses to carry his cell phone on off work hours because it rings off the hook with work related problems. Because of the time difference and the fact that i work nights his work time is my 4 am to 12pm when i should be sleeping. This means i sleep only a few hours at a time in between emails and times he emails that i can call him. I know that he isn't seeing someone else or married, but i am bothered by the fact that i cant reach him on weekends or anytime other then when its convenient while hes at work. He thinks its me being needy but i think its the lack of control i have over our communication. I also pay for the phone calls and im asking if its healthy to have it one sided and controlled like this? Should i insist on him calling me once in awhile or getting a phone so i can call him? Am i setting myself up for bigger issues down the road? thanks, rach
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female
reader, cybercyr +, writes (8 November 2008):
cybercyr is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the help, I'll try that..
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (8 November 2008):
Hmmm, mobiles are really not that expensive to buy if he just gets a basic one. Is he really that badly paid that he can't get a personal one and then not give the number out to anyone?
If you are the one spending ALL the money then I would say that yes, this relationship is a bit off, unless it is a temporary thing and he pays his half and more when he comes to your country.
Tell him you want to be able to contact him in case of emergency and that he needs to get it sorted.
Good Luck!! xx
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