A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I just recently got married. Less than 6 months. My husband and I are saving to buy a house. So in the meantime, we are trying to save money and are living with his parents. It's not the worst of things but sometimes I feel trapped in "his life", not "ours". We hardly ever go out as a couple and one night my husband said that he was going out with some old friends and that he was going to stay the night... Sleep out. We argued that night because I felt it wasn't apropriate for a married man to sleep out. I was furious! We got into a fight over this and he packed his bag and left. Well... He didn't come home that night. I was hurt by his decision to disregard my feelings and sleep out anyways. I don't think he is cheating on me but I feel like he has no respect for me or my feelings. I felt trapped (because we live with his parents) ,hurt by his decision and disappointed in myself believing he would come home that night. What upsets me even more is that I fear that his lack of respect for me and my feelings will only get worse. It's come to the point that I'm thinking I should have never got married! Am I over-reacting? Should I forgive and forget?
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male
reader, babyboi  +, writes (8 November 2008):
you know i was in that same situation i lived wit my ex-girlfriend and my parents she was my gf at the time but anyways we lived there and i always went out while she stayed home and i never thought about her feelings or anything i was just thinking aout myself now i was never married but we didn't make it we faught all the time and we ended up going are seperate ways. but when we did live on are own at one piont and time but we were happy so should you forgive and forgot absolutly not give him one more chance and see what happens explain to him that what he did hurt you alot and just see what happens but if he doesn't wanna make an effort to change or understand how you feel then you need to make a decision well if you need any other help or advice e-mail me here at this site.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (8 November 2008):
Wow, you'd rather him spend $100 on a taxi to get home to you, than sleep on a male friend's sofa? Or do you think you should only have friend in a 5 mile radius?
I know you feel trapped and that it is hard for you (a week maximum is how long I can do at my in-laws) but that doesn't mean it isn't hard for him too.
Let him go out and have fun, and you should be going out and having fun too.
I know money is tight with the bad economy but I think your marriage may need you to find a cheap horrible place to rent so you can have your own space... even if that means saving for your deposit a little bit slower.
Talk to him about it and I think you both need to apologise and admit that stress is causing problems that are coming out in arguments like this one.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2008): this phase will pass. It's just you adjusting to sharing your life with another person. if you give up now, you'll hardly be happy, and you'll live in circles around that person. if you say you're saving money, there's not much to do, is there?
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