14, in love, and both of us are ready for sex. But I'm scared of the pain.
Q. OK, I don't know what to do... I started a relationship with this guy I've known for years about a month ago. So far, we've only had oral and manual sex. It's clear he wants to go all the way, but he's reassured me that he won't do anything I'm ...
A. 13 April 2009: Well if he's older then that is the decision made for you.
If he goes any further than kissing then technically he is committing a sexual offence. I know it's stupid if you consent to it and feel you are ready and everything but the rest of the w... (read in full...)
14, in love, and both of us are ready for sex. But I'm scared of the pain.
Q. OK, I don't know what to do... I started a relationship with this guy I've known for years about a month ago. So far, we've only had oral and manual sex. It's clear he wants to go all the way, but he's reassured me that he won't do anything I'm ...
A. 13 April 2009: You've only been with him a MONTH!!!
Many adult women would wait longer than that to have sex with a guy - LET ALONE lose your virginity to him!
I know you have known him for years, but that doesn't matter.
You need to work up to sex a lot ... (read in full...)
Mature and frustrated
Q. This is my first post. I have been in a stable relationship for 10 years. My sex life is nil at the moment and seems unlikely to improve. My partner went off sex during her menopause. She won't talk about problems and defers answering any direct ...
A. 13 April 2009: I have suggested this before and people have said that they could just not be unfaithful. Some people are just not built for that kind of thing and if you are a very monogomous person then that's great. Most women out there would kill to have a ... (read in full...)
It's been nearly two years, but I still feel guilty for cutting off my ex. What can I do?
Q. Hi everyone. Tonight I've reflected on the break up of my first relationship, which was a long distance relationship which lasted for 2 years, ending in June 2007. I know it's a long time to still be reflecting on it, but let me run you through ...
A. 12 April 2009: Glad to be of help. I was a bit worried that I'd been a bit harsh but thought you might need a bit of a kick up the bum haha.
You'll be fine. So will she. Everyone always is. :oD
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
Lacking self confidence and belief due to ginger hair
Q. OK, I have just turned 19, I am male, around 6"1 and finishing my first year at uni. Almost every day, since I was about 13, I am self concious about my appearance due to my ginger hair. Usually when I'm with my friends I just forget about it ...
A. 12 April 2009: At school you were the ginger kid and smelled of twiglets.
School is a time when everyone wants to look exactly the same because children instinctively herd together like sheep for protection. It's sad and childish and many people who were int... (read in full...)
If he's going to see other people maybe we shouldnt be in a relationship!
Q. I'm currently in a long-distance-relationship. On Friday, my bf went out to lunch with a single, female colleague. Then they ended up spending the rest of the day together, going to a local museum and getting dinner. He told me about having lunch ...
A. 12 April 2009: It was all going well till he said "I think it might have been a date."
That means that he never mentioned the fact that he had YOU.
As a married woman with male friends I ALWAYS make clear the fact that I am happily married when I meet a co... (read in full...)
It's been nearly two years, but I still feel guilty for cutting off my ex. What can I do?
Q. Hi everyone. Tonight I've reflected on the break up of my first relationship, which was a long distance relationship which lasted for 2 years, ending in June 2007. I know it's a long time to still be reflecting on it, but let me run you through ...
A. 12 April 2009: You can lose the guilt because it's NOT YOUR FAULT!
She DUMPED YOU. She told you she no longer wanted to see you as any more than any of her hundred other mates. You lost that privilege. She didn't sump you because you deserved it, she dumped y... (read in full...)
Can a grandmother claim benefits for grandson as dependent in the UK?
Q. I am currently living at home with my mum and my son and i am thinking of moving in with my girlfriend, but my son wants to live with my mum still, does anybody know if my mum can claim benefits for my son or what legal processes i would have to go ...
A. 12 April 2009: Well why does she need benefits? Why can't you pay for him? I mean he can't eat THAT much food!
I think unless you prove that you've chucked him out because you don't want him any more and that she becomes his full time guardian and has all the ... (read in full...)
My b/f of 2 years keeps cheating on me! Help me! What should I do?
Q. I found out 6 months ago that my boyfriend of two years is cheating on me. He denied it all the way but recently admitted it when we were arguing. He later tried to deny it after he realised what he said. I would be able to forgive him if he stop...
A. 12 April 2009: Are you going to dump him then?
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
He needs space, can't control what he's feeling
Q. I have been married for 9 years. Had a baby about a month ago. This is our second child. We've had problems before just like any other couple. But he had some self esteem and insecurities too. But he was never open about it and just kept it to ...
A. 12 April 2009: I don't think there are any answers to your questions because I don't think he knows any of this stuff himself.
You have a right to be very angry with him though. How dare he risk your whole relationship and let you have another child by just let... (read in full...)
I cant work out if this girl is his older sister or a new gf. Help here?
Q. So ive been best mates with this guy and recently he's been flirting alot and then he asked me who ide rather go out with out of all his friends and i said probably him because i know him best and i asked him the same and he said me and then when...
A. 12 April 2009: Hey again.
You asked this before and we all told you just ask him to ask you out again.
I don't think you have done that so there is not much point telling you to try anything else as you don't seem to want to take advice.
Ask him out and... (read in full...)
How do I tell him I like him?
Q. I asked him to the dance. He said yes. He seemed excited, I was excited. We had a lot tons of fun. He is my friend. I just know that nothing is going to come from it, even though we both have fun, and we might feel the same way. I tried to make ...
A. 12 April 2009: Tell him.
Just say that you really wish you could have a boyfriend like him but you know he doesn't like you.
If he does like you he'll correct you.
If he doesn't then he'll tell you that it'll be ok and you'll find someone.
Good Luck!! ... (read in full...)
Should I back off a bit and wait for him to talk to me?
Q. there is this guy I've known forever and we've recently started talking on-line again. i always seem to be the one who starts the conversation but when we get talking we'll talk for hours, should i back off a bit and wait for him to talk to me? ...
A. 12 April 2009: Yeah back off and let him make a move.
If this is only online and not real life then he may just want someone to chat to when he's bored and you don't want to read into anything.
If he does want you to become real life friends then let him sug... (read in full...)
Someone cheer me up please!
Q. Me and my ex-girlfriend have been on and off for the past 6 months but we are very much into each other...too many disagreements and problems with trust have ruined things. I decided to give it one last go instead of giving up on it but i didn...
A. 12 April 2009: As much as you sugar coat it, the reason you split up with her is because you don't want to be with her.
And if you don't want to be with her then you have to get out of her life for a while and do your own thing. She needs space to get over you... (read in full...)
I want to move to where my g/f will be studying, 300 miles away. How do I go about this?
Q. Hey I am 18 and life in Northwest England i currently work in a bar and have recently finished an IT course, my Girlfriend wants to go to uni this September in Plymouth which is something like 200-300 miles away and i fear that we wont be able ...
A. 12 April 2009: Ok moving cross country is easy.
You will need:
1. Deposit and a months rent on a flat. Hit the internet (rightmove.co.uk, gumtree.com) and find out prices of places you can rent in the area.
2. A Job. You need a job before you move down the... (read in full...)
I have tried my best and now feel I am just being taken for an idiot
Q. Before i start this post I would like to just say that i dont actually have problem with potential partners having children etc when you meet them but the problem is this.. when i met my partner he told me he had a child.. the mother of the ch...
A. 12 April 2009: Personally, I would never be in a relationship with a man with a kid as the kid would always ALWAYS have to come first in his life. That is only right and I understand that which is why I would not chose to be in a relationship knowing I always come ... (read in full...)
Now I cant connect with people on a personal level. How do I overcome this?
Q. Hey... I just finished my first relationship. And it went for two years. I know, thats reaaally long for a first relationship apparently. Well, for the whole relationship, i never yelled at her, any arguments we had it was pretty much her yelling...
A. 12 April 2009: I still think that time is the answer though. I bet you still see her a lot so you still have all that anger that she help you prisoner and stole all that stuff.
Go out for a run and hit a punch bag, get those hormones that you locked away in ... (read in full...)
Mature and frustrated
Q. This is my first post. I have been in a stable relationship for 10 years. My sex life is nil at the moment and seems unlikely to improve. My partner went off sex during her menopause. She won't talk about problems and defers answering any direct ...
A. 12 April 2009: Back in the slightly less liberated times, this is when a man would get a discrete younger mistress and the wife would get new jewellery and new shared hobbies.
I know she refuses to talk about it so my advice is to tell her that you don't wa... (read in full...)
I need ideas for a sexy surprise for my boyfriend. :-)
Q. Hi, I'm hoping for some advice from the guys (and the girls!) out there. My bf of 3 yrs has been away for 2 weeks with work. I want to show him how much I've missed him by giving him a sexy surprise, but am stuck for ideas...has anyone got any ...
A. 12 April 2009: I'm an army wife and the first night he comes home you will be in your best underwear and have all this stuff planned and he will be KNACKERED and want to sit and watch tv and have a shower and then sleep.
So the first night, be prepared that a n... (read in full...)
Now I cant connect with people on a personal level. How do I overcome this?
Q. Hey... I just finished my first relationship. And it went for two years. I know, thats reaaally long for a first relationship apparently. Well, for the whole relationship, i never yelled at her, any arguments we had it was pretty much her yelling...
A. 12 April 2009: You say you have JUST finished your relationship. The reason you can't move on is because you haven't given yourself a chance to yet.
Give it time and when you meet someone else then it will all become easy again.
Next time though, you need... (read in full...)
She isnt altering her ways, what should I do?????
Q. I am in bits and need your help.... I have been going out with my girlfriend for 2 years now and in January, we got engaged (she is 24). We have arguments like everybody else which is healthy but the problem is, she never admits when she's in th...
A. 12 April 2009: Arguing every day is NOT normal or healthy.
In a NORMAL relationship you talk about things and don't keep having the same problems because you work through them.
You may love someone but sometimes that is not enough to make things work.
... (read in full...)
Is this a friendly gesture?
Q. When your talking to a guy and he puts his arm around your shoulders and pull you closer to him (so that your head is resting on his shoulder) or when he pats you on the shoulder ... Is that a friendly gesture?...
A. 12 April 2009: He could be being friendly. I have male friends who put their arms round me and it means nothing (although they are normally carrying my home from the pub at the time.)
It could also mean he likes you, but if he didn't kiss you or ask you out then... (read in full...)
Gave b/f bj then got cold sore..is he infected?
Q. I gave my bf a bj and then a few hrs later I started getting a cold sore...is he infected? did I infect him?...
A. 12 April 2009: Yes, this is why you use CONDOMS!!!
Get him to see a doctor
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
Why wont my ex help me get a bf?
Q. why wont my ex help me get a bf, he recently set one of his new gfs mates up with a guy from the pub, then when i was talking 2 this guy down the pub first the other week, he got him to go and talk 2 my mate, i think he knew i liked him, anyway w...
A. 12 April 2009: The reason is that he's a MAN.
Of course he does not want you to move on. I mean he's BOASTING about your lack of sex life, and that means he's happy that you are still "his" in a way.
You don't need anyone to help you get someone new. You... (read in full...)
I feel sick after having sex
Q. To my agony aunts and uncles, thanks for taking the time to read this. So here's the deal, every time my bf and i have sex i feel sick the next day- cough, fever, fatigue. We've only had sex a few times (we used a condom every time) and i was a vi...
A. 12 April 2009: Are you eating right? It could be you are tired out by it and if your diet is bad then your body can't cope.
It does sound psychological though. I mean if you have waited to lose your virginity then it's rightly going to be a BIG thing to your min... (read in full...)
I'm gay but don't want people to know! How do I convince people that I'm not?
Q. Im 15 and A guy in my class told people that i am gay (wich i am) but i REALLY dont want anyone to know, for now everyone doesnt know forshure but how can i convince them ( lie) im not?...i dont want to be the outcast of my school! ...
A. 12 April 2009: Kids are horrible so I understand perfectly what you mean about wanting to hide your sexuality.
Do you have any girl friends who you are really close to?
Would one of them mind cuddling up to you and holding hand with you in corridors? You c... (read in full...)
Can a relationship work with someone who is unstable?
Q. Can a relationship work with someone who is unstable? ...
A. 12 April 2009: In my opinion no.
By unstable you mean "mentally ill" and if you are in a relationship with a sick person then one of you has to be the nurse a lot of the time.
Quite often once you build up the unstable person and get them over their condi... (read in full...)
What should change when you become girlfriend/boyfriend?
Q. When you have "the talk" and are now girlfriend and boyfriend - exclusively, what should change between the two of you from when it was just 'dating' I know there is the obvious - no dating other people etc and commitment to that person but i mea...
A. 12 April 2009: I would say to keep it exactly the same. As your feelings increase then you'll want to see each other more.
People have this big thing about relationships changing and being more serious and boring when you get serious.
It shouldn't be lik... (read in full...)
3 questions on my being a bi :-)
Q. okay so i recently found out that im bi and like gurls and i have a girlfriend and we really like each other but she still classifies her self straight but yet she says really like me now the problem is she wants to please me all the time she has ...
A. 12 April 2009: You just have to give her time and take it really slowly.
It sounds like she is not quite sure about her sexuality yet.
Start with just a shoulder rub and hugs, mix it in with girly stuff like facials so there is no pressure. Then introduce k... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant if he came in my anus (due to condom splitting)?
Q. I don't know what to do. My boyfriend wanted to try new things so I agreed because I felt I trusted him. He wanted to try anal sex so I let him try it telling him to use a condom. The problem is the condom split and "came" up there. I'm a we...
A. 11 April 2009: If it dribbled down into your vagina then yes there is a small chance you could be pregnant.
But a period could be delayed by lot of things including stress so if you are worried then take a pregnancy test and find out one way or the other.
... (read in full...)
Any information on lambskin as contraception? I don't like condoms
Q. My wife needs to go off the pill because it is messing with her mental state. She has told me that in the past she has had this type of reaction to the pill and never wants to go on it again. Not interested in any hormone thing at all (e.g. IUD ...
A. 11 April 2009: I agree with the above person that you should go and see your local family planning clinic (they are not just for teens) and talk about your options.
There is the coil to consider and they will also know about the condoms.
Much as I think this ... (read in full...)
Signs when someone is gay??
Q. I think my friend could be gay. What are the signs that he is?...
A. 11 April 2009: He goes out with and kisses boys.
Or he tells you he is.
Until he does either of these things you do not know and really it is not your business.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
I am always worried about people commenting on my weight. What do you think?
Q. My ex-family in law used to publicly mock me about my bodyweight (that I am too thin, anorexic, look terrible etc etc) and it used to really upset me - in fact it was relentless. Fact is I have been 5'6 and 8 stone 10 for as long as I can remember - ...
A. 11 April 2009: I can understand that they must just be worried about you. Next time you meet them you can clear this up from the start and not have to suffer any more of it. Simply talk to them about it. Tell them you know you look thin but your weight is the... (read in full...)
My b/f of 2 years keeps cheating on me! Help me! What should I do?
Q. I found out 6 months ago that my boyfriend of two years is cheating on me. He denied it all the way but recently admitted it when we were arguing. He later tried to deny it after he realised what he said. I would be able to forgive him if he stop...
A. 11 April 2009: Sweetheart if he cared about you or your relationship at all then he would not be doing this.
The fact he even SNEAKED OUT TO SEE HER says to me he doesn't give a crap.
You need to get out of this and get over him.
He's acting like an a... (read in full...)
Are we allowed to go out seeing as I'm only 13?
Q. Am 13 and I want to date a 15 year old girl named Sarah, are we allowed to go out? I know she loves me and she knows I love her. Please help me? Are we allowed to go out???...
A. 11 April 2009: Ask your parents. There is no law against you going out together but if you do any more than kissing and holding hands then it may be a problem.
Talk to your parents and if they think it's ok then go for it.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
Being forced to do things on a webcam
Q. my boyfriend and i are long distance. he asks me to do things on webcam that i feel uncomfortable doing but i think if i dont then i'll loose him. i still dont do it. but idk what to do. if i had the confidence yeah i would. but i dont and when i ...
A. 11 April 2009: This is emotional blackmail and it's horrible.
What you should do is get his home phone number and then when he says he's going to cut - You call his mummy.
When she bursts into his room having just been told his slitting his arms open becaus... (read in full...)
I mean if he was that interested he would have asked me out by now, right?
Q. I have got myself into a situation at work with a guy. We have been flirting for about 2 years, he is always making sexual comments, we have never been out together but we get on, he has just never asked me out, Last year he told me we wante...
A. 11 April 2009: Just tell him you don't really want rumours about you at work so would he mind not telling anyone that the kiss happened. He should be able to tell from your tone that this means nothing more is going to happen.
After that, you really don't ne... (read in full...)
How to make him realise what hes lost if he likes me
Q. there's this guy I've known for about 4 months, we've been cinema, he came to my party and we kissed and cuddled for ages, and we've bumped into each other at the bus stop sometimes but hardly ever. We get on so well, but all we ever do is speak on...
A. 11 April 2009: It does sound like he just wants a friendship with you, but with a bit of kissing throw in if possible.
If you want a boyfriend and you like him as more than a friend then you have to take control and tell him that.
Just say to him that you rea... (read in full...)
Was he thinking of me when he made the move?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 12 months. He had already applied for an Australian visa when I met him or so I thought - but actually made the final part of his application during our relationship without telling me. Now his vis appr...
A. 11 April 2009: It sounds like he has been planning this for a long time. Ane should have been open with you about that.
If he had told you up front that he was applying for his visa to move out there then you could have made the decision or not got so involved... (read in full...)
He says he wants to settle down and marry..but I'm not sure about all of this!
Q. im really unsure bout something life-changing... A guy i knwo lives in Act, australia and i live in Sydney. we met on the internet bout 7 months ago and still kinda talk whenever he is on. he has always liked me from the start n i just wanted to b...
A. 11 April 2009: Look, you can't agree to marry a guy and have kids with him all in one go.
If he wants to fly over and stay in a hotel and DATE you for a little while then that is all well and good.
But you don't KNOW this guy, you may not be attracted to him... (read in full...)
Am I being paranoid or have I got every right to be angry?
Q. okay here goes.... I was reading through my bf's phone earlier and found texts from 2 girls (they both work at the club he plays rugby for). He had deleted his sent items so I don't actually know what he said to them, but the texts from these g...
A. 10 April 2009: It sounds like crap to me.
I don't know him but my gut says that this excuse of his has more holes than a sieve.
Really really think about whether you want to be with a guy like this even if he's innocent and has friends who mess about with ... (read in full...)
Opinions on not marrying or having children
Q. I have been hesitating in asking, but ended up asking anyway since I want to know as much opinions as possible concerning this. I grew up in a loving family. I never had any abuse of any sort. Currently in a loving relationship with a man. I ...
A. 10 April 2009: Well I haven't tried it myself so I can't advise but it's used really widely and although there can be complications with it, you can always give it a try and if you don't like it you can always have it taken out.
Worth a try anyway.
Are the... (read in full...)
Am I being paranoid or have I got every right to be angry?
Q. okay here goes.... I was reading through my bf's phone earlier and found texts from 2 girls (they both work at the club he plays rugby for). He had deleted his sent items so I don't actually know what he said to them, but the texts from these g...
A. 10 April 2009: If they were texting him normal stuff and putting a X on the end then that would be nothing to worry about.
I put kisses on the ends of all my texts just through habit now. It means nothing really.
But his message to the girl with kisses and ... (read in full...)
Opinions on not marrying or having children
Q. I have been hesitating in asking, but ended up asking anyway since I want to know as much opinions as possible concerning this. I grew up in a loving family. I never had any abuse of any sort. Currently in a loving relationship with a man. I ...
A. 10 April 2009: I'm 25 and a bit like you.
I'm married and love having sex but have absolutely NO interest in having kids.
You can find a man who wants to be with you without the wedding and the kids. As long as you are honest with your boyfriend then i... (read in full...)
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