A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My ex-family in law used to publicly mock me about my bodyweight (that I am too thin, anorexic, look terrible etc etc) and it used to really upset me - in fact it was relentless. Fact is I have been 5'6 and 8 stone 10 for as long as I can remember - my weight has not changed for years on end. I am naturally slim and its hereditary. However this verbal abuse went on for 10 years and my husband turned a deaf ear. I have now been with my new boyfriend a few months and met his mother and grandmother a few days ago - I was positive and chatty with them. My boyfriend has just told me that they both think I must weigh about 6 1/2 stone. That was the only thing they said about me. I am now worried that I am getting into yet another relationship with a man and his family who seem to think its ok to make personal remarks about people. In my view if I actually was only 6 1/2 stone I would probably be in hospital. To add to it.... my boyfriend thought their comment was a compliment! What does everyone out there think? Is this a compliment? Am I wrong to think its rude to comment on peoples bodyweight all the time? I really feel low about this and would appreciate anyones view.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): Do your self a favor and stop letting others influence how you think. Of course I am trying to influence you now. The hardest thing for people to overcome is what others think about them. Get involved in something motivational. Learn to accept what others have to say and then let it go. Other opinions are paralizing you. What someone else has to say about anything is only as important as you allow it to be.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2009): I think whether you weight 6 1/2 stone or ten times that, listening to another's criticism and judgement is simply a disservice to yourself. Whether you're teeny or morbidly obese, don't care about other's judgements. Just choose to not be affected.Others will always judge us, always. That will never change. If it's not your weight, it will be something else. If your weight is endangering your health, you may want to channelize your energy into utilizing professionals to help you.KayKay is onto something, if these comments are actually encumbering your life. If you must respond, make sure it helps them see their destructiveness; she said "say something smart back to them." I like that. If someone said something cruel about my appearance, and they clearly need help changing this habit, I would remark right back about their obvious lack of maintenance in that area, and do it confidently and tell them to have a lovely day. And i would consider it a favor I'm doing for them.Finally, it seems you wanted your boyfriend's family to say something different or more about you. I suggest you not care about your boyfriend's family's opinion of you either. Whether they think you're awesome or not, you are the expert on you, let anyone think what they want.Best wishes -
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (11 April 2009):
I can understand that they must just be worried about you.Next time you meet them you can clear this up from the start and not have to suffer any more of it.Simply talk to them about it. Tell them you know you look thin but your weight is the same as it's always been and you eat healthily. In fact, you could take them out to dinner and talk while stuffing your face in front of them. TELL THEM how your EX's family used to make you feel miserable and ugly about it.Find out your BMI and tell them you have checked it and you don't want to be any thinner.Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, lanababy +, writes (11 April 2009):
 HiI know the feeling about people thinking you are too thin. I get it all the time too. Im underweight but I don't look it like you but people still tell me I need to put on weight but I cant I have now got to the point that I say to the people to mind there own business. It can get you down but I just go out dressed up and show people I am proud of my size and so should you be tell you partner to tell his family that there comments upset you and if they don't care he is not worth it.I hope this helps
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