A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im 15 and A guy in my class told people that i am gay (wich i am) but i REALLY dont want anyone to know, for now everyone doesnt know forshure but how can i convince them ( lie) im not?...i dont want to be the outcast of my school! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2009): Just say "what we did together wasn't gay! you took advantage of me while i was drunk you bastard!" or something to that effector, in a flat, sarcastic monotone"yes, you can tell by my amazing fashin choises, and all the anal sex i have in public places"
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): Hi,
Difficult, depends on the school culture. 6% of UK schools have an anti-homophobia policy and claim to stick up for the rights of young people who are gay, but in reality kids are cruel and even some of the tormentors might be gay but in denial and using homophobia as a front.
The anti-homophobia policy in a few schools does give you the option of that answer "What if I am, have you got a problem", which as you say means you don't have to out yourself yet. But you have to be able to pull it off and if you are not strong it could make life worse.
You hesitate to come out because you suspect things will get worse I guess, or you have know idea what will happen.
All I would say is seek support from counsellors and LGB groups before you do it, it may make the "transition" from being in the closete to the outside world easier.
take care
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (13 April 2009):
 ignore it and act like it doesnt bother you
when people are bothered by accusations it always makes it look like the accusation has truth to it.ALWAYS.
act aloof and uncaring to the max and it will go away over a period of weeks as people get bored and move on to newer juicier gossip...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): Dont pretend, just answer with so what, you'll be fine
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A
male
reader, NightLad  +, writes (12 April 2009):
 If you find a girl to pretend to be in a relationship with you, make it clear to her what you are doing. You must be honest. If she is fine with it, then it’s really up to you.However, it is not fair to pretend to like some unwitting girl so you can use her like a fake beard, masking who and what you really are. They have feelings too, and deserve to be free to get into real relationships with guys who want and desire them in return. Besides, she will catch on soon enough and will only be hurt and most likely more than a little pissed off. Can’t say I’d blame her in that situation.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (12 April 2009):
Kids are horrible so I understand perfectly what you mean about wanting to hide your sexuality.
Do you have any girl friends who you are really close to?
Would one of them mind cuddling up to you and holding hand with you in corridors? You can tell people you are "just friends" and that will give them something to gossip about.
As for the guy who is spreading the rumours... tell people he's obsessed with your sexuality and you think that's a bit weird.
Above all be cool and laugh at anyone who says any thing to you.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): do the "takes one to know one" thing but also get a gf
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): Be proud of who you are, no matter what. Living in hiding like that will really bother you. If you feel no conflict whatsoever within that you might be straight, if you are absolutely sure within... then let that be your exterior as well.
People will talk. People ALWAYS talk. But you will not be an outcast if you are comfortable in your own skin. And even if you are ostracized by some, others will admire you for your courage and tenacity.
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A
male
reader, NightLad +, writes (12 April 2009):
Next time he says it, just look him right in the eye and say nice and loud, "Takes one to know one!"Then you've not had to lie, and you've turned the tables. The sad thing is, he probably is himself (or at least is questioning) and he is trying to deflect attention.
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