A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey...I just finished my first relationship. And it went for two years. I know, thats reaaally long for a first relationship apparently. Well, for the whole relationship, i never yelled at her, any arguments we had it was pretty much her yelling at me about nothing lol, and i got her birthday gifts for her and her family and did extra shifts and work and i tried so hard! However, she has a problem. She wouldn't touch me at all! No hugs, no kisses...even at my age I still haven't kissed a girl and thats even after being in a 2 year relationship. I told her in the beginning of our relationship I would wait for her because she said she'd probably grow up and get out of her problem soon and i thought it was commitment for me to do so, but i wasted two years of my life when i could have been with a better girl. She never bought me a birthday gift or christmas gift. And about a month ago she broke it of because she was bored and wanted a change. i was absolutely devastated, and all her friends, my friends, my family and even her family were furious at her.Now, i have connection issues, i just cant connect with people on a personal level, and touching people in general doesnt even seem to thrill me anymore. I mean, its like, whats the point? If i cant get touched once by my ex-girlfriend, whats so exciting about it anyway?I have actually been to a councellor. And she says i have been emotionally damaged. However despite this, i still want to find someone...i just don't know how to connect with people anymore...does anyone have any advice? Much appreciated...
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (12 April 2009):
I still think that time is the answer though. I bet you still see her a lot so you still have all that anger that she help you prisoner and stole all that stuff.
Go out for a run and hit a punch bag, get those hormones that you locked away in frustration out and free again.
You'll be fine.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (12 April 2009):
There is noway on how you should connect with a person, its a natural feeling that is a unique experience and only occurs with certain people. You've done the right thing, you've noticed a problem, got it sorted and now your on the way up. It wont fall into place for you, itll take time and you will need support. Just because one ex girlfriend was bad doesn't mean they are all the same! And in that relationship she was the one with the issues not you, it was unhealthy and un natural they way she behaved and acted, a normal relationship is nothing like that. Its only been 3 months so your still healing, any break up takes a while to move on from.You were very willing and dedicated but it needs to work both ways, you need that balance. One day you will find it but not if your looking for it, there are so many people in your situation and your one is out there somewhere but it wont happen straight away. Maybe next time be more aware? your last gf seemed more accepting than giving and i dont get the impression that that is your ideal girl. Take some time for yourself and to sort your head out, emotions can change a person and you need time to find yourself again. best of luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionActually, by 'just' finishing it, i meant 3-4 months ago...:s sorry for the confusion...
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (12 April 2009):
You say you have JUST finished your relationship. The reason you can't move on is because you haven't given yourself a chance to yet.
Give it time and when you meet someone else then it will all become easy again.
Next time though, you need to learn that you don't stay in a relationship and keep giving and giving if you get nothing in return. You should have been out of there when she didn't kiss you after a month and didn't get you any kind of gift.
You can't blame her for the fact you stuck around and kept giving stuff away. Learn from your mistakes and move on.
Good Luck!! xx
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