A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:why wont my ex help me get a bf, he recently set one of his new gfs mates up with a guy from the pub, then when i was talking 2 this guy down the pub first the other week, he got him to go and talk 2 my mate, i think he knew i liked him, anyway when this guy left he gave me a kiss and my ex double looked when he was told, when we split my ex said go and have fun and get laid, but he also said hed find me someone, he always boosts that im not had sex since him, but now ive got upset that he can see i like someone like that guy but he sent him 2 my mate why wont he help me find anyone does he not wont me to find anyone else when hes got a gf
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): Err hello?! He is your ex, he's hardly going to want to see you with one of his friends!!!! I mean that is out of order
A
female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (12 April 2009):
i think the answer is obvious, he still has feelings for you and it drives him mad with jealousy when he sees you moving on. Its unfair as its always one rule for a girl and another for the guy, hes ok to move on but your not...? something s wrong there! Personally i wouldn't want his help finding a new man, hes unsupportive and hes still holding you back. Remind him he cannot have the best of both worlds, your not willing to remain in the past and hes moved on so why shouldn't you? Break away from him, your not together an more and while its ok to be mates (although i don't know why given the way hes boasted about your private life- i certainly would not be going anywhere with a guy that has no respect for me or what we once had) but you do eventually need to move on and with him around you never will. You need to deal with your future more independently and your ex is the worst person to seek this kind of advice from, he will always have feelings and deep down so will you and that's not helping anybody, hes an ex for a reason.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (12 April 2009):
The reason is that he's a MAN.
Of course he does not want you to move on. I mean he's BOASTING about your lack of sex life, and that means he's happy that you are still "his" in a way.
You don't need anyone to help you get someone new. You need to move away from your ex. Stop going to the same pubs and get your OWN boyfriend.
You are not in school any more and do not need someone to go up and hand a badly written note to a boy saying "my mate fancies you."
Grow up, stop seeing your ex, stop having him so involved in your love life. He has no business what you do now so get new friends and move on.
Good Luck!! xx
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