Third time the charm? Should I try to find her again?
Q. Hi all hmm where to start. 24 years ago, aged 23, I fell madly in love with the most beautiful person. We were together for 5 years, got engaged, but were young and we split which at the time was devastating for me. She hurt me and my trust was...
A. 20 April 2009: The worst that could possibly happen is that you find her and she tells you to piss off. She married now and she can't forgive you. She never EVER wants to see or hear from again.
If you prepare yourself for that outcome and trace her expectin... (read in full...)
Backoff..I'm in a relationship
Q. how do you get someone you had an affair with to backoff because you are in a relationship??...
A. 20 April 2009: Block their emails and texts, change your number, ignore them, and if that doesn't work threaten them with a restraining order.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
Sex not like it used to be!
Q. hey all. my bf was my first he has a huge penis so sex in the begining was very painful,howeva i managed to acomodate it and got used to it and even enjoyed it. two years later i now find that my vagina doesnt grip him anymore. i just feel his penis ...
A. 20 April 2009: It sounds as if you have stretched out a bit.
Its all muscle down there so you can tighten it up again with exercise.
Use the muscles that you squeeze when you orgasm, or the ones that you use to stop urinating mid flow.
Try it next tim... (read in full...)
How can I discuss his overspending with him without getting his kids involved?
Q. My husband and I are recently married. He has adult children and 5 grandchildren. I have none. We have a joint bank account into which both of our paychecks are direct deposited. Unfortunately, both of us are spenders. I buy clothes, etc, be...
A. 20 April 2009: Unfortunately you are just going to have to sit down and tell him that you want to open separate bank accounts.
Your pay goes into your own account, some is automatically transferred into the joint account to cover bills (an equal amount from bot... (read in full...)
I still love my ex and do not want to hurt him again but I love his fried too.
Q. I am almost done with my ex, but now his friend is asking me out, what should I do? I still love my ex and do not want to hurt him again but I love his fried too....
A. 20 April 2009: You are not in love.
If you were in love you wouldn't be wanting to hop on to his mate.
Leave BOTH of them alone, be single for a while and get your head straight.
He's hardly a good mate if he's willing to chase you before you are even spli... (read in full...)
Engagement, marriage, or split up?
Q. Been with my boyfriend for three and a half years, we live together and I have felt for a while now that we are ready to get engaged. It took a long time for him to come around to my way of thinking but he seems to be planning an engagement (what I ...
A. 20 April 2009: He'll chase you and offer you the world... but if he doesn't follow through then it's just words and it doesn't mean anything.
You are very right that he should not be proposing just to stop you nagging for commitment. It means nothing if he has n... (read in full...)
I love him so much but what if he's holding me back. Need help!
Q. Me and my boyfriend are 17. I go to a private college and he is in state education. We are absolutely crazy about each other, love one another deeply and can't see how we would break up, not in the near future at least! I've always had big id...
A. 20 April 2009: Well you are in the UK and he is abroad so I think your main problem is not the fact he's not quite sure what he wants to do in life, it's the fact you are several hundred miles apart.
Many people don't know what they want to do till they are in u... (read in full...)
One and a half year, and he still has not proposed to marry me!
Q. dear cupid, i been in relationship wd my bf for one year an a half but he hasnt proposed to marry me yet... he says he loves me and serious about me but he hasnt proposed yet...i tried opening the subject to him...he said to keep things ...
A. 20 April 2009: Have you tried all the usual things? buying wedding magazines, taking him past jewellery shops and pointing out things you like and don't like, talking about the future ("After we get married we should go there on holiday / get a dog / buy that ... (read in full...)
If she is engaged, why did she initiate the date?
Q. hey there, yesterday i was busted more than ever... i had a date with the woman whom i have known for a month....we had a nice talk, i found that she almost makes up my dream girl,our interests almost match, i told her she is amazing and she also...
A. 20 April 2009: Either she is very stupid and thinks it's ok to lead you on and keep you as a friend even though she knows you want more...
Or she is sick of her fiancé and is weighing up her options.
Either way I think you should wait and see if she asks you ... (read in full...)
Concerned about my partners nephews feelings towards me
Q. In the last couple of years I have noticed my partners nephew has been showing me more attention when we get together as a family. We all live in different towns so we do not see each other often. As a family we quickly hug each other and give ...
A. 20 April 2009: He's rubbed your thigh, and told you he loves you...
That is much more than normal nephew behaviour.
Back away a bit and make sure you sit next to your partner. Be a bit more loving to your partner in front of this boy.
There is no need to h... (read in full...)
I need help with a friends with benefits situation.
Q. we see each other once a week, have a great time, laugh, talk and carry on, occasionally go to dinner or a party together, and then we have sex. i don't hear much from him when we aren't together which is fine, whatever. he tells me in bed that ...
A. 20 April 2009: Friends with Benefits only ever works when you are just friends.
If you want more then you are going to end up being hurt in the long run.
It sounds like your bloke is treating you well and fairly nice, so I don't think he would want you t... (read in full...)
Taking my own innocence
Q. I have been toying with the idea recently that I may take my own virginity. I hate the fact that someone could give themselves rights to "taking away my innocence" so I thought to do away with it myself. I am completely ready, I have been in situ...
A. 20 April 2009: Well if you want to break your hymen, take a yoga class and ride some horses.
Mine was long gone as I used to climb trees and fall out of them regularly as a child.
If you want to use a dildo to experience that feeling of a penis then go fo... (read in full...)
Am I his muse?
Q. I had a talk with my boyfriend and he has told just how he has been doing some thinking lately about everything, and he figure the struggle he goes through he doesn't even have to go through it,he let it happen to him. I told him how much i miss...
A. 19 April 2009: It sounds to me like you two are apart at the moment, that he is sad because he's missing you and is feeling a bit down.
You can use his sadness to make your relationship seem more special and give yourself a self esteem boost if you want.
... (read in full...)
Should I act now or just leave it?
Q. I'm in need of some advice. I broke up with my last girlfriend over 4 months ago and have been single since then. It's been OK, but I've never been that enthusiastic about long-term singledom and feel ready to begin a new relationship. At the ...
A. 19 April 2009: DO IT NOW!!!
Why wouldn't you ask her out now?
Just say you'd really like to see her over summer and get her number.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
How do I help and support my friend?
Q. I have a good friend who is going through some medical problems so she's drinking a lot lately. She's not an overly affectionate person when sober - but when she's drunk she is very affectionate and more relaxed to her friends, often hugging and ...
A. 19 April 2009: I think the whole "alcohol brings out the real you" idea is just stupid.
Yes it lowers your inhibitions but it doesn't mean anything, it just means you do things that normally you know are stupid.
I get really cuddly with my mates when I am ... (read in full...)
I want my ex back! Any ideas for getting her back?
Q. OK so I want my ex back! Yes I have thought about it long and hard. We broke up in December and since then we have talked a bit, not to often though, sometimes we have fought over the past, sometimes just talk about how she is doing, she is seei...
A. 19 April 2009: We can't really advise you since you don't tell us the biggest issue that you will face - Why you broke up in the first place.
If you can fix that problem, gain or give forgiveness and do something to make her realise that she does love you and ... (read in full...)
Follow up: Thoughts about going to and working in Spain
Q. My heart is breaking a little, but I'm not in love with a man, but in love with another culture and another country. I would like to know if any of you have heard of someone like me (a North American with no European roots) who was able to live...
A. 19 April 2009: I put "emigrate to Spain from America" into google and this came up:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071023202744AANQVy7
Do some research, get a job, and go. What is stopping you?
Good Luck!! xx
PS. In my experience Spanish ... (read in full...)
Why am I always more "enthusiastic"?
Q. I started going out with my first boyfriend 3 months ago. Im embarrassed because i always seem more enthusiastic when we're making out and i get excited kinda easily. Is this because i've never had a boyfriend but he's had three girlfriends? We've ...
A. 19 April 2009: It could just be that he's a laid back kind of guy.
Not everyone is hugely into the physical stuff so it could be you are just a bit more passionate than he is.
If you notice it when kissing him then pull back and ask what's wrong.
Good L... (read in full...)
Pimples around my pubic area .. STIs or just acne? I'm a 14 yo virgin
Q. are there other ways than beying sexually active to catch sti's and std's...becuase im a virgin and i didnt think i can have one of those.... but i m 14 and i have like some pimples around my pubic region and they can really hurt some...
A. 19 April 2009: Do you shave or wax down there?
That can cause spots, especially if you pluck the hair out as it can in ingrown hairs coming back that can get infected.
Make sure you wash carefully down there and if you do remove the hair in that area then e... (read in full...)
How do I convince a married woman to sleep with me?
Q. if a marreid woman likes a man and she gives him some sexual signs every now and then does,that mean that she has some sexual fantaseis about him? , and does he has a chance to get laid ?? and what is the way to seduce her ?? if i wanted to??...
A. 19 April 2009: I am a married woman. I also sometimes flirt with my male friends. Some of my male friends are quite attractive.
Does this mean that they have any chance with me what so ever????
NO!!!!
Flirting is fun. It's a nice way to give each other a... (read in full...)
I don't want to hurt my Muslim Parents, but I also love my boyfriend. What should I do?
Q. hi, my parents are strict muslims and are against the idea of having a boyfriend. ive had a boyfriend for 4 years now, and i love him a lot. i cant break up with him. My dad cares about me and has done a lot for me so he doesnt force me like ...
A. 19 April 2009: I think you just have to take a deep breath and tell them "I think I have found the boy I want to marry after university."
They may not like the idea of you having a boyfriend but I am sure they know the best marriages are based on mutual respect ... (read in full...)
Unleashing an animal
Q. Ok so the boy I'm in lust with right now has fairly animalistic tendencies when he is aroused and he's afraid that he'll hurt me. So he pulls away. And I need some help on tips to get him... fired up and riled up so that he won't worry so much abou...
A. 19 April 2009: The best thing to do is not try and make him lose control al together because he will and then he'll feel like he raped you or something and feel AWFUL.
So just wait till he starts to lose himself and then pulls away and then just DON'T LET HIM!... (read in full...)
Stepping out of my sexual prison...
Q. I'm still young but have been stuck in a mundane and protected box, only had 1 boyfriend which my mom really chased away when he found out we had had sex, and any mention of anything sexual is'nt something I'm allowed to partake in because I'm too ...
A. 19 April 2009: How does your mother KNOW about what your sister is getting up to at uni?
I have the theory that as long as I look after myself well, what my mother doesn't know will not hurt her.
So I tell her very little about my life.
Once you get aw... (read in full...)
I don't want her to go through what I did after the break up!
Q. A very close friend of mine just broke up with her boyfriend of nearly three years and she's freaking out because she can't remember how to be single. (By the way, their break-up is justified because he's a crazy, sort of Edward Cullen-type with a ...
A. 18 April 2009: That sounds like possibly the best idea ever.
Do it!
( and can I come, it sounds fun! ;o) )
She's really lucky to have a friend like you. Treat yourself as well!
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
He's not holding up his end financially and its really stressing me out!
Q. My finace and I are living together in my house, he has rented his out. He earns far more than me and yet only pays for food and the odd utility bill, I am seriously overdrawn, and when i try to talk about the subject he gets angry, he has promised ...
A. 18 April 2009: He may love you but just have severe issues about money, but the fact he won't even talk calmly about it, or accept facts, or even care that you are getting in debt... that worries me a lot.
Have you done much wedding planning yet?
Who is ... (read in full...)
He's not holding up his end financially and its really stressing me out!
Q. My finace and I are living together in my house, he has rented his out. He earns far more than me and yet only pays for food and the odd utility bill, I am seriously overdrawn, and when i try to talk about the subject he gets angry, he has promised ...
A. 18 April 2009: He may love you but just have severe issues about money, but the fact he won't even talk calmly about it, or accept facts, or even care that you are getting in debt... that worries me a lot.
Have you done much wedding planning yet?
Who is ... (read in full...)
Handsome man in nightclub alone intimidates a woman?
Q. I am in a bit of a pickle.... I am a 26 year old guy. I have been told I am very attractive by many females, and I have noticed a lot of woman looking at me.....in streets, at clubs etc. However I am totally clueless and I may be misinter...
A. 18 April 2009: Well that's another problem, that you need to sort:
If a girl looks at you and smiles then she's inviting you to come and say hi.
If you then look like a scared rabbit and look away then you send out a massive "LEAVE ME ALONE!!" signal.... (read in full...)
He's not holding up his end financially and its really stressing me out!
Q. My finace and I are living together in my house, he has rented his out. He earns far more than me and yet only pays for food and the odd utility bill, I am seriously overdrawn, and when i try to talk about the subject he gets angry, he has promised ...
A. 18 April 2009: Yep he's taking you for a ride.
Tell him you need to get this sorted out and work out all the household outgoings on paper.
Then split it down the middle and set up a direct debit from his bank into yours.
If he refuses to pay his way t... (read in full...)
He wants to 69 but I have an "appearance" problem
Q. OKay so my boyfriend wants to 69 but I'm embarrassed cause I have butt crack hair. I've never talked to anyone else about this...is this normal? Does everyone have it? and if not should I shave it?...
A. 18 April 2009: Everyone has it!
Your hair folicles don't know where the line is drawn! They just grow all over that area in general.
Porn stars wax / shave because bare skin makes the man's penis look bigger and makes the camera angles easier.
Most ... (read in full...)
Do I love this narcissistic egotist?
Q. Hey. Well I'll start off by saying I've never been in love. I believe in it but I've never really liked anyone enough to think it is love. Now I've moved recently and I've met this guy. He's a narcissistic egotist. He annoys me so much and now we ...
A. 18 April 2009: It's a well known fact that the sex you have with your partner when you are making up after an argument is some of the best around.
So I think you and this guy are going to have a great time hating each other and then feeling incredible lust.
... (read in full...)
Is it worth continuing with him, in the hope of things ever getting better? Do people change or at forty is he set in his ways?
Q. hi, I have been with my boyfriend for almost three years, he has cheated on me once in the past (during our first year together), as far as I know he has not since. In the three years we have been together, I have never met any of his family o...
A. 18 April 2009: The question I have for you is: Why are you with him?
I do not understand what you get out of this relationship. You seem to adore him and let him get away with anything but he does NOTHING to deserve this.
If you want to be one of those wom... (read in full...)
Do I need to cut all contact with her?
Q. Hello people, we broke up 2 weeks ago and I cleared the message to her that it's over now... no hopes please...! We cared A LOT and can't think of letting go completely. Also she became very panicky about losing me so we we decided to remain ...
A. 18 April 2009: You can be her friend with out being best friends.
See her but only when you are with other people. Don't be so attentive and treat her like a mate, not like a girlfriend without the kissing. Start talking about other girls. Just comment if you s... (read in full...)
I don't want her to go through what I did after the break up!
Q. A very close friend of mine just broke up with her boyfriend of nearly three years and she's freaking out because she can't remember how to be single. (By the way, their break-up is justified because he's a crazy, sort of Edward Cullen-type with a ...
A. 18 April 2009: She has to go through some form of heeling but as you say, she's very lucky to have you to remind her that being a single girl is AWESOME.
Go round to her place, chuck out every reminder of him, or better, sell it and use the money to go out and ... (read in full...)
Does this Claire have a crush on my fiance or are they just friends?
Q. Hi, I'm in my first serious relationship (22 years old) with a man in his 30's. We met on a blind date which in a strange way was set up by his mother who I knew. We got on real well and got engaged recently. His Mum sometimes spoke about these tw...
A. 18 April 2009: Sweetheart I'm sorry to tell you this but I think you are massively over reacting.
She started texting when he got engaged because THAT'S WHEN SHE GOT HIS NUMBER!
She's texted such scandalous things as "congratulations on your engagement" and ... (read in full...)
Has she bought him the car to try to keep him?
Q. My ex boyfriend's new girlfriend has just bought him a new car, a 57 reg and he knew nothing about it, thing is they have been together for 2 months,and now I feel I wasn't good enough for him because I could neve afford anything like this, I did ...
A. 18 April 2009: He sounds like a dick.
Any guy that will accept a CAR as a gift and then happily ask someone to cheat with him... you just don't want that guy around.
If he had ANY decency or pride or morals he would never have accepted a gift that big. It's n... (read in full...)
Stepping out of my sexual prison...
Q. I'm still young but have been stuck in a mundane and protected box, only had 1 boyfriend which my mom really chased away when he found out we had had sex, and any mention of anything sexual is'nt something I'm allowed to partake in because I'm too ...
A. 18 April 2009: So what is your question?
Do you want us to advise you to go and shag his brains out in a pub carpark?
You are a teenager, not some kind of prisoner of war.
If your mum doesn't let you have boyfriends then tough. It's her house and her r... (read in full...)
I'm really confused and freaked out
Q. I have a group of men stalking me-I dont't know who they are or what they want-they will follow me onfoot ,taking it in turns every couple of streets or in their cars-Im really freaked out -can you think of any reason why a group of 8 men would be ...
A. 18 April 2009: The police have a duty to follow up on every report they get.
After a good few failings in the system recently they now are super careful about this kind of thing.
Go and tell them what you know, car registrations, etc.
It could be that one ... (read in full...)
Handsome man in nightclub alone intimidates a woman?
Q. I am in a bit of a pickle.... I am a 26 year old guy. I have been told I am very attractive by many females, and I have noticed a lot of woman looking at me.....in streets, at clubs etc. However I am totally clueless and I may be misinter...
A. 18 April 2009: Go up to a girl who smiles and ask her if she's having a good night.
The worst thing that could possibly happen is that she'll say yes but she's here with her boyfriend and run off.
Hardly the end of the world.
The best thing that could ha... (read in full...)
Flirting is hurting! Would asking her out relieve the pain?
Q. Hello. I was always told that flirting should be fun but with this woman at work the flirting is hurting. Does this mean I have feelings for her? Is it a bad sign to have feelings for someone when we have not even been on a date together? Am I ...
A. 18 April 2009: Who the hell is David De Angelo?
He sounds like a knob.
If you have feelings for this woman then ask her out.
Only you know if you have a crush on her or not.
It could be that you just don't like flirting, or that you have a heart condit... (read in full...)
26 and never had a boyfriend, it's really getting me down...
Q. Hello, my name is Jo and I need some help/advice, I am 26 and have never had a boyfriend (I am a virgin), the thing is I am never really attracted to anyone and the one time I was when we kissed it just I don't now, I ended up pulling away and ...
A. 17 April 2009: You say you are not attracted to anyone. Men and women?
So I think the first thing you need to figure out is "what do you want?"
Do you want a boyfriend? You don't need one just because your friends have them. Some people are actually asexual... (read in full...)
Am I a trophy to my boyfriend?
Q. Well you know there are times when you want your boyfriend to like you for what you are and not for who you are.. the same with me I am 20 and my boyfriend is 21 and we were really attracted to each other from day 1 and we still are.. so basicall...
A. 17 April 2009: I had a boyfriend once who admitted that he mostly went for girls that would "look good on the arm" and come and watch him play rugby.
He wasn't my boyfriend for very long.
If you don't feel there is any connection there then it may just be t... (read in full...)
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