A
female
age
30-35,
*naVaiLiaVe
writes:im really unsure bout something life-changing...A guy i knwo lives in Act, australia and i live in Sydney. we met on the internet bout 7 months ago and still kinda talk whenever he is on. he has always liked me from the start n i just wanted to be friends coz i just recently broke up with my ex. ive been starting to like him abit more and he talks to me with so much respect and kindness and love as well. he says he is in love with me and all and wants to settle down with me like get married and have kids and he even said he will move for me and treat me good. but im very unsure because he is older and more independant than me. he is 25 and im only 19, and im not independant yet(no job, car etc) and i have never been able to live it because of my money and friends situation(i dont really have any). i told him this and he said not to worry. and my mum is very over-protective of me and can be abit nosey in some things, and i dont think she will agree with it especially with having kids..which i know im not ready for anyway(the paaiinn!!!)lol. but this is a life changing decision for me and i need advice..plz help
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broke up, money, my ex, the internet Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): This is a man you have never met in person so you don't really know him. If he wants to marry someone he never met then he is very short-sighted. It must be tempting to go for it because you are alone now and we all need to feel loved. But don't fall into a trap of thinking he is something he is not.Maybe you two should meet up and both see the reality? It is easy to build someone up in your imagination into something they are not. Or you could find you like him a lot more than you thought...
A
female
reader, UnaVaiLiaVe +, writes (11 April 2009):
UnaVaiLiaVe is verified as being by the original poster of the question hey thanx for the advice :) that was what i was worried bout too. i no i will think bout dating him b4 any of that happens.im not into rushing things.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (11 April 2009):
Look, you can't agree to marry a guy and have kids with him all in one go.
If he wants to fly over and stay in a hotel and DATE you for a little while then that is all well and good.
But you don't KNOW this guy, you may not be attracted to him when you meet him.
And considering your age you should in NO WAY be thinking of marriage and kids till you have been dating for a couple of years in REAL LIFE.
You also don't want kids until you have a career and car and all the other things. If you ended up on your own you want to have a safety net... and hey, kids are boring and suck your life away. Don't you want to travel, achieve things, and do something with your life rather than being a stay at home mummy for the next 20 years with no life?
Tell him that you want to give it a go but you can't agree to commit without doing all the other stuff first.
Good Luck!! xx
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