A
female
age
30-35,
*rincessSmithee
writes: there's this guy I've known for about 4 months, we've been cinema, he came to my party and we kissed and cuddled for ages, and we've bumped into each other at the bus stop sometimes but hardly ever.We get on so well, but all we ever do is speak on-line and text. He never seems up for meeting me, yet hes so lovely to me on-line and texting. And spends hours talking to me. So basically i don't think he wants to commit. But I've seriously had enough.So would it be best to , not be on-line as much, and seem less interested.?Or ask him if he wants to meet and if he gives me a 'maybe or no' answer just be like 'ok i get the picture' or something like that.I just want to know if he actually wants to go somewhere with this, maybe if I'm gone he will realise what he had
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (11 April 2009):
It does sound like he just wants a friendship with you, but with a bit of kissing throw in if possible.
If you want a boyfriend and you like him as more than a friend then you have to take control and tell him that.
Just say to him that you really like him as more than a friend. See what he says. If he still doesn't do anything like ask you out or tell you he feels the same then just tell him. "I don't think I can be friends with you any more as I want you as a boyfriend and it's clear you just want a mate to chat to."
He should realise that he's going to lose you then and he'll either make some effort to keep you or let you go.
If he lets you go then say good bye to him so he knows it's a BIG REAL goodbye. It's sad but as you say: It's HIS loss, and when you cut contact and stop replying to his texts and messages online then he might realise that he's an idiot and call you.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (11 April 2009):
I think you should give him one last chance and then quit any hopes of a relationship, it could be he is just lazy or shy. Be direct with him, no declarations of love but just say do you fancy coming out for a drink next week? If he turns you down then it is certainly the case that he is not interested in you as more than friends because people generally make an effort when they want to date someone. Don't be disappointed if he does say no, there will be someone out there who really does like you just the way you are!
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