A
female
age
26-29,
*olitePanda
writes:I would really appreciate it if I could get an outside perspective of this situation I'm going through. I'm really upset and don't understand what's wrong with this guy.I recently turned 20 and my ex is 21. I met him during the end of January (from a dating site) and we met up the beginning of February. We both really hit it off and had great chemistry. We continued to see each other despite him living 50 miles away from me and enjoyed going out on dates, introducing friends, etc. He asked me to be his girlfriend during the end of March. After I said yes, things got weird a week later.He got less attentive, spent more time with his friends than me, and I noticed that he was active frequently on the dating site we met on while I deleted my account. He would be online but not responding to me. I calmly asked him about it and he got really defensive and said he wasn't on there and ignored me for a day. His attention grew less and less and he dumped me the day before it would've been one month together. He blamed distance and compatibility. He's smokes, drinks, and goes to parties a lot and I don't do any of those things. And while we had chemistry, our personalities were rather different. I thought that was what attracted us to each other.After he dumped me, I defriended him from FB and lost his number. I was upset for a while and unfortunately I thought about him everyday....and then he contacted me two months later, telling me that he missed me and couldn't stop thinking about me and wanted to give things another try. I liked him so much that I wanted to give it another go.He drove down to see me a few days ago, we had sex, and he had to go back home immediately afterwards. He drove and hour and a half to see me and had to go back since he was borrowing the car he used. A few days later his attention to me seemed to be more sexual than anything, he forgot my birthday ( I repeatedly told him when it was), and he took a few days off to stay in my city and hang out with me and other people he knew. He invited me to the hotel he was staying at and we spent two hours together, again having sex. Then his friends called and he went out with them to bars instead of spending more time with me and promised the next day we would hang out. The next day he invited me over but again rescheduled because his friends wanted to hang out that night, too. He said that this would be the last time and that he would really spend the entire day with me and go to the zoo together. I agreed when really my feelings were hurt a little and once again defriended him off fb.The next day, I texted him when he wanted to hang out. No reply. Sent two more, no response. Called, number no longer available. He blocked my number. I sent an fb message and he blocked me on there, too. And all the other social media we used. On twitter, he bragged and laughed about blocking me.I have absolutely no idea why he would block me. I've never in my life have been blocked before. He had me thinking we would really spend time together and go to the zoo, but he blocked me. Was he mad that I defriended him on FB?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (17 September 2015):
 I don't think you are getting the message and I don't know why. This is a lost cause. And are you really that worried about being blocked on FB? You have to remember that most social media is the toilet wall of the internet.
When you say: "A few days later his attention to me seemed to be more sexual than anything", I think you have hit the nail on the head.
It was a bit of fun but now that's that.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2015): He is married. Final dot.
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A
male
reader, .Nick +, writes (17 September 2015):
 As a guy in an eerily similar set of circumstances as your guy, I want to give you one piece of advice:
A guy who is genuinely into you won't make the same mistake twice. A guy who dumps you, realizes what a terrible mistake he's made and is serious about winning you back will do anything to prove to you that he deserves you.
Dear Polite Panda, I'm afraid to inform you that you don't have a man who wants to be with you, you have a man who wants to take advantage of you.
I'm sorry to inform that there will be no zoo, and nothing you could've done could have prevented this. If you would have not had sex, he likely would have blocked you sooner.
Sorry about your circumstances,
Nick.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2015): Hi - I doubt him blocking you was anything to do with you defriending him on Facebook. Unfortunately it sounds like he has found a better offer.
The same happened to me around Christmas time - I was getting close to a guy who wanted to date me - but suddenly he blocked me too on phone & Facebook (luckily before we slept together) & I later found out that he had been seeing other women!!
This kind of behaviour can be quite common with some men - especially if they are the outgoing partying type - that you say he is. It is pure selfish & mean & they don't care who gets hurt along the way as long as their own needs are met.
It sounds to me he got what he wanted - the sex. He didn't care about your birthday & going to the zoo & obviously a better offer has come along.
All you can do now is put him out of your mind & try to forget he existed - but it may take a long time as betrayal often does!
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