A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I can’t believe I’m writing in, but my situation is desperate! I’ve been in relationships before that have lasted far longer than the one I was recently in.I’ve dealt with rejection and being dumped by guys I really like and got over them but this time it’s different.We were only together for a few weeks and he was really full on for two weeks, talking about moving in together and all sorts!I was a bit scared by this and said to him that we should take it easy and see what happens, which he agreed with. I then really fell for him and told him how I felt, which he really liked and reciprocated.It got to the stage where I thought we were totally in love so I opened my feelings up and before I knew it he was making excuses about why he couldn’t see meI tried to arrange to see him but suddenly he sent me an e-mail saying he didn’t think it was going to work because there was another girl that was wanting to get with him instead that he'd also been after.I know I shouldn't be affected so much by this - but I am and it really hurts and has made me depressed. What should I do?
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male
reader, Denizen +, writes (8 September 2015):
 I worry that so many responses 'imagine' what was his motivation, and none of them are very charitable.
You let your heart rule your head. It's wonderful to be swept up in a heady romance, and the danger is part of the thrill. This time it didn't work out for you.
As I said below: 'He wasn't the right one. You made a mistake. But there is someone else out there who is right for you.
Take your time and give plenty of space to heal. Don't bounce into a new relationship until you are well and truly over this one.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 September 2015):
 I think it feel differently because he SAID all the right things (things that would indicate that he was interested) but as it turned out he was full of crap.
From all the posts I have seen on DC with guy who after a VERY short time are talking love, family, moving in together, vacations, meeting the kids etc... ALL the things that means "I WANT to be with you." - they all burn out real fast. Think bottle rocket, they light up and off the go, but after the BOOM there is nothing left.
My guess it this guy had SEVERAL ladies lined up at the same time. Not just you and someone else.
Being "discarded" for someone else is never a nice feeling. The thing is though... It was for the best - this guy was NOT sincere. He was full of lies.
YOU did the right thing is trying to slow it down a little and it WAS NOT your actions that made him dump you. IT was his own.
I think he is the kind of guy who jump from woman to woman always looking for the "bigger better deal". The "perfect" mate (who probably doesn't even exist).
Pick yourself up, accept that you got conned by a fake dude. It happens.
Don't fool yourself into thinking you missed out on some great romance - this guy? isn't capable of it.
Go spend time with friends, family, loved ones and forget about this one. He wasted your time, if only for two weeks.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the answers guys.
I think what makes me most sad is he is now settled into a relationship with his new girl & I have missed the opportunity - as we no longer speak.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (7 September 2015):
I'm sorry to hear you have been hurt. There is no immediate fix for it. Just take it day by day. Find some new interest. Treat yourself to something - a holiday if you can afford it. And remember it does get better.
He wasn't the right one. You made a mistake. But there is someone else out there who is right for you.
Take your time and give plenty of space to heal. Don't bounce into a new relationship until you are well and truly over this one.
All will be well. Remember that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2015): You are too old to allow this to get you down for long.All players suggest marriage, moving in, future engagement and lifelong commitment on or around tje first date.They are hoping to shoot cupids arrow to your heart to get you into bed.Therafter they adopt a "keep it mean, to keep them kean policy." And a sudden escape route of someone else.You should be laughing now ,but you bought into the sweet talk.Count your blessings..You enjoyed the romance and the fantasy of a future life together.He spun that web of charm to get you into bed.But there never was going to be a follow through.So perish the thought and adopt a mona lisa smile now and again..ie she who knows but will never tell.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (7 September 2015):
 Wow…that was a hard and fast break up. Maybe it's not really about being dumped that you are struggling with the most more the shock of how things went from fast track to off track and being rejected in such a blunt and insulting manner what is getting you down. Sounds like you dodged a bullet from what i would consider to be a coward of a man breaking up via email- how gutless. Leave him to it, if he does try make contact again don't bother trying to see if this is a chance to get answers- he is the answer, that being he's a wishy washy dick-head. Are you depressed or just sad? I'd say you are just sad. So what is it that makes you happy- company of friends, nice massage, new out fit, short break, giant box of chocolate? Whatever it is go do it and try not give this dude any more thought and think it , say it and remember " It's his loss, not mine"
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