A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Help. I just turned 40, so in affect I'm now 'middle aged'. I'm not one for dating or looking for dates much - I just take life as it comes.Recently however, I have been kicking myself for turning down a gorgeous guy who was chatting me up online. I thought he was a bit of a player as he was chatting a few women up besides me - looking for Miss Right - one girl that I know, so I just took his advances with a pinch of salt and we ended up falling out over it.Now though (a few months later), I see that he has settled down, happy and in a relationship and I can't help kicking myself as I know that could've been me!! How can I stop regretting my decision? He'd not been married or had much baggage and I feel I've messed up big time! Like I said - I don't really date much and opportunities like this don't come around often. How do I get over this massive regret in my life? I'm so annoyed at turning him down!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2015): A few months after this 'opportunity' came about, he met and settled down with 'the one' for him. IF you had dated him it would only have led to heartbreak a few months later when he met his 'one' and left you for her.You weren't his 'one' but (currently) she is.However it might encourage you to see how things go with the next chap you meet. I think it's a win-win situation. They're happy, and because of this experience, perhaps you will soon be happy too.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2015): The soul just loves to torture itself sometimes eh? If their happy you will feel worse but if it all goes pearshapd then you can feel ok.I have to smile ..what if the bloke is just a frightful piece of work..charming on the outside but totally messed up on the inside?Do you still think you would regret your decision?Its your choice but be arned by me to be careful what you wish for or you just might get it!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (11 September 2015):
 Oh and block him on FB or whatever social media you are watching him on. That's just not worth the energy at this point.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 September 2015):
I don't see how you would have been happy with a guy you didn't fundamentally trust from the beginning. You think he's a player, you rejected his advances and things got heated up enough that you fell out about it?
What missed opportunity? This was a non-starter from the get-go.
Don't look back with rose-colored glasses now.
Look forward and be open and alert for the next man.
Remember, you can ask out men you fancy. :)
Now go carry on with your life and be thankful you aren't second-guessing getting involved with a player type who also has a short temper. :)
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A
female
reader, malvern +, writes (11 September 2015):
 The warning here is that he's not been married. Why has a gorgeous man like him not been married? Because he's a player, as you so rightly said yourself. He will never settle with the woman he's with now. I know a man who is exactly the same as him, early forties, good looking, good job, charming and polite but he just can't settle - he goes from one woman to another. You've had a lucky escape. Somebody once said this to me with regard to men, 'Exciting but unreliable, boring but safe', and it's quite true.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the answers & yes male anon - deep down I believe he will start playing the field again - as that is how he met his current girlfriend.
However - if they remain a permanent item - I will regret things even more.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (11 September 2015):
 In situations like this, just think that whatever happens is for the best. Maybe things wouldn't have been right or good if you were with him. Trust me, you haven't messed up and you shouldn't regret it either because you don't even know him that well. Maybe he was more suited to the other girl. Believe me, you cant lose something that was never yours to begin with so just try not to think too much about it and move on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2015): Have you ever heard that all that glitters is not gold?So mr charming was already playing the field when you met him so ehy would you be drawn to him.Mr charming will play the field again when he has mrs charming safely tucked away where she can meet no one,so dont regret turning down a bad opportunity because forties is not old, you have plenty of opportunities for real meaningful romance.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (11 September 2015):
 If he's in a relationship be happy because perhaps he found his perfect partner. It's not all about you. You weren't the one.
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