Why do girls avoid eye contact with me? What do I need to keep in mind when trying to connect with girls?
Q. Every time I'm in the mall or any other public place girls will avoid looking at me. I'm NOT ugly at all and it's not because they're shy because even outgoing loud girls don't look at me. I really get the feeling I creep them out or something...
A. 11 March 2015: Do you guys think there is a problem with the way I come off in public? - well yes. If you stare at anybody they won't react well. There is a difference between smiling at someone in the street and giving them a hard stare. It sounds like you are a ... (read in full...)
She's my friend's sister. Should I tell her, first, how I feel about her? Or just go ahead and ask her out for a date?
Q. I've known my best friend and his sister for 3 years now. I'm 21 and they're 18. Throughout knowing them both my best friend is amazing and the nicest guy i've ever been around he is a friend for life. His sister is great too we're also very close. ...
A. 11 March 2015: You have provided two alternate answers: "Do I tell her how I feel or do I just ask her out on a date?"
Perhaps there are other endings you should consider.
So often we crave for things out of our reach. Perhaps your feelings are amplifie... (read in full...)
Why is my ex acting so horrible?
Q. My ex emailed me apologizing and wanting to make things right for our baby. He left us two months ago after she was born. I was confused by what he wanted and said if he wasn't serious about making things right then to leave us alone. He sent a ...
A. 15 November 2014: I have to agree with Honeypie. You are better off without him. Who knows why he is being such a cretin? Get your own life together and enjoy it with your beautiful child.... (read in full...)
Still hung up on a guy from my past?
Q. Hey, so, I'm having a little bit of an issue with a guy that I used to have a crush on from earlier this year. Sorry if this is a tad lengthy, but I promise I'll make it a good read. Back to last August, I was dating this one guy that I really c...
A. 7 November 2014: I don't think you are being very fair to the man you are with. Make your mind up and stop wondering whether to change horses mid stream. You could end up messing three lives up.... (read in full...)
Have I messed up or is he just not that bothered?
Q. Hi, this probably sounds really futile but it's even driving me mad the past couple of days! Basically I've been seeing a really lovely guy for the past month or so, he does boxing and he had a really big match the other night. I knew about it since ...
A. 7 November 2014: Give it more time and things will become clear.... (read in full...)
My parents treat me and brother like we are babies! Advice in how to deal with them?
Q. Hi everyone :) I am almost 16 years old and recently I admitted to my parents that I liked a guy.. well they flipped out... And I thought it was the right thing to do as I did not want to sneak around them. However, since they flipped I told the...
A. 7 November 2014: If your brother is 28 I hope he is not still living at home. As for you, you will soon be in a job or college and able to make your own life in your own flat or bedsit. You just have to tough it out until you can get out of there.
For years pare... (read in full...)
The relationship is toxic but ending it is complicated
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and the majority of that time has been just dreadful. He started off incredibly sweet and charming, helped me with money when I lost my job and took me places I'd always wanted to go. But slowly he's just ...
A. 3 November 2014: You have to realise that things aren't going to get better. As for the fridges etc, they are just things. You can get more things, and with them you will win back your self confidence, and self respect. No-one says going will be easy but in the end ... (read in full...)
How do I get over these lingering feelings for J without losing him as a friend?
Q. It might be long, so please bear with me. I'll start off with some basics. I am currently 20 and my boyfriend is 21 years old (we'll call him K). We've been together for almost 3 and a half years, since my junior year in high school, and his...
A. 3 November 2014: You can only ever have half the world.... (read in full...)
Ex hasn't picked up his things?
Q. My ex and I broke up a little over three weeks ago, we broke up once before about 4 months ago. Regardless he has been utterly cold and nasty. We have an apartment together, and he has been living at home since the split. He came once to get most of ...
A. 3 November 2014: He is clearly deeply upset and hurt. It seems like you know some of his friends so why not talk them into moving his stuff. You could arrange to be out while it happens so he could come in and take what's his.
In the great scheme of things this is a... (read in full...)
Co-worker has changed, have I done something wrong?
Q. I started a new job and my male co-worker is training me. We would laugh about stuff at work and he would laugh at things that I said. He would check-in when I was working and see how I was doing. I dressed up nicely a few times (because I was meet...
A. 3 November 2014: You just have to ask him if everything is OK. You can imagine all sorts of reasons but you need to hear it from the horses mouth.... (read in full...)
I divorced my husband and now some of my family isn't speaking to me!
Q. I just got divorce from my husband which is my second cousin too. I have not announced it yet but his family told some of our relatives. By my surperise couple of my first cousins that were closer to me and we grew up together started acting strange ...
A. 3 November 2014: There are various reasons people retire if they see a relationship breaking up. Some just don't want to take sides; some don't want to be involved (it's almost as if they think it might be infectious). Some people might even think it's your fault or ... (read in full...)
She doesn't want to lose our relationship but she doesn't want to fully commit either
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for about three years. She is 19 years younger than me. I am a young 65. During this time she has lived with me at my flat although she has her own cottage in a nearby town. Recently she has talked about, '...
A. 8 February 2014: The relationship has been going nicely for three years.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is talking marriage, but expects us to live with his family.
Q. Me and my boyfriend had been together for 4 years and he gave me hint to propose me soon. We've discussed about marriage before and yesterday he asked me to look for bedroom design that I like. Problem is, he's the only son in his family and he to...
A. 8 February 2014: Tell him straight that you aren't living with his parents. He can come up with another plan. It may seem like brinkmanship strategy but you need to establish what are none-starters for you in any relationship you have.
The test then - and this is c... (read in full...)
How can I contact again my ex-friend and crush and should I? I regret losing him.
Q. It's a bit long but that's because i'm gonna try to explain things well so that hopefully you can answer accuraletly... if you could give me your opinion on it i'd be VERY grateful ! So here is the story This guy got interested in me right a...
A. 30 September 2013: I'm unclear after all you've written about what you hope to achieve. The solutions to problems are mostly about asking the right questions. You say he behaved 'jerky' but that he was a, 'nice person'. You say you don't have feelings for him but woul... (read in full...)
Opposing work schedules! How do we make the best of it?
Q. I work as a teacher, Monday through Friday, and am up 6am and get home around 4pm. My husband works as a casino dealer and works weekend shifts and weekdays that he can pick up from 9pm-5am.....Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays guaranteed. ...
A. 24 September 2013: You have to work out between you what is most important. Is it the money or the relationship? If the immediate problem is cash, could you put a time-limit on how long you will spend living this way?
Clearly it is not a long-term option for you both... (read in full...)
What should I do with this guy when I move to university which is 4 hours away?
Q. recently I've started talking to a guy who I have a bit of history with - we've both admitted that we still have feelings for eachother but I've just moved to uni and he's about 4 hours away from me.. we've been trying to discuss what we're gonna do ...
A. 23 September 2013: I think you are going to meet lots of interesting people at UNI. I would let your old relationship cool.... (read in full...)
Asking a guy out over facebook- urgent help?
Q. Ok, so I want to send a fb message to this guy who I was studying with (our course is over, as of last week). I was intending to make a move last week, in person, but never got the chance. So now I'm resorting to facebook even though I know he ...
A. 23 September 2013: Is it possible to get his phone number through the course provider? I think a txt or better still a phone call would be better than FB. ... (read in full...)
She doesn't want to lose our relationship but she doesn't want to fully commit either
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for about three years. She is 19 years younger than me. I am a young 65. During this time she has lived with me at my flat although she has her own cottage in a nearby town. Recently she has talked about, '...
A. 23 September 2013: There is so much value in the answers I have received – and so promptly – thank you.
I have to say right off the bat that I am not wealthy so that while I provide security it isn’t that much financially. I have offered her a cheap loan of a few thou... (read in full...)
I can see potential in this guy but my mom thinks he's bad news. How should I proceed?
Q. I moved with my family into a house next door to a guy around April. We started talking late May. We got along great and were hanging out heaps. We were staying at each others places watching movies or having drinks. We did give each other hugs ...
A. 26 August 2013: Can you, "put it all behind you"? Perhaps some distance would help you put it all in perspective.... (read in full...)
I think my partner is selfish and unfair. How do I get him to see things from my point of view?
Q. Dear Cupids, I am so lost and unsure of things and need advice. I am 34 a mother of 2 teenangers, my daughter lives with me and my partner and my son lives 6 hours away with his dad. His dad and I get along for the best part. The problem is I ...
A. 26 August 2013: Sometimes you need to face up to the hard decisions. The previous writer is correct. Your guy isn't about to change. He's selfish. Instead of putting you on a pedestal, he is putting himself.
Get yourself out of this relationship and regain your... (read in full...)
In an LDR for one year, husband has just come back and now his job requires him to travel again - I'm freaking out!
Q. Hello! My husband and I have been in an LDR for one year: it was hard, but we are finally back together! He's found this great new job and we're finally back together. This job will require him to travel for work. His first trip will be in a couple ...
A. 16 August 2013: I think you need him to change jobs. You have one life and it's ticking away. You can't bank the lost time between you. It's ridiculous.
Perhaps he may have to take a salary cut but if it means you have the life together that you want then you'... (read in full...)
She wants space, how should I approach this?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years. We both loved each other endlessly from almost the very beginning. For me, she is the love that I have searching for my whole life and from letters and notes from her I am her one and only. S...
A. 16 August 2013: I really feel for you. It's a horrible situation to be in. Actually all you can do is stand back a little and ask her what would really be a help to her.
Sometimes you have to show respect for your loved one's feelings by letting go. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend spends a lot of time chatting online, including to a younger girl. He hasn't changed his relationship status for many of his accounts.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together since 6 months. Hes a computer guy and spends all day on his computer at work. I'm concerned how much time he spends not working, but chatting or doing something else. He has so many accounts on so many ...
A. 15 August 2013: You maybe over-reacting. It is possible to have friends of the opposite sex without it neccessarily being anything more than friendship.
What you do need to do is talk. You may be able to guauge by his reaction what your next move should be. ... (read in full...)
He is out of my league. What does he want from me?
Q. Dear all, I'm dating a guy whom I'm sure is out of my league. I just turned 26. I was born in Hong Kong and educated in England. I'd say I'm curvy but short. I have fair skin and big eyes which are considered good-looking by Asian standard. ...
A. 15 August 2013: You need to believe in your own self worth. How you achieve this is your next step. You might find help on line; you could try counselling or perhaps even hypnotherapy.
As far as your new conquest is concerned take it slow. No-one commits with... (read in full...)
I really like her but I'm worried I'm too eager
Q. I need some help. I'm a mature man. I have been out of a long-term relationship for about 18 months. I have been trying to sort my life out. Now I have met a woman a little younger than me, but not embarrassingly so and I really like her. I'm gett...
A. 24 July 2011: Thanks Fate100percent. Your answer is spot on and I'm going to do my level best to do what you say. You are not the only person to give that advice by the way. I have asked women I know outside the internet.
The woman I have fallen for has take... (read in full...)
I really like her but I'm worried I'm too eager
Q. I need some help. I'm a mature man. I have been out of a long-term relationship for about 18 months. I have been trying to sort my life out. Now I have met a woman a little younger than me, but not embarrassingly so and I really like her. I'm gett...
A. 20 July 2011: Well I have been let down although gently. She said she isn't ready to start another relationship but would still have dinner. I know by the emails that she is feeling the 'hots' too. So while I'm disappointed that the brakes have been applied I am ... (read in full...)
I really like her but I'm worried I'm too eager
Q. I need some help. I'm a mature man. I have been out of a long-term relationship for about 18 months. I have been trying to sort my life out. Now I have met a woman a little younger than me, but not embarrassingly so and I really like her. I'm gett...
A. 17 July 2011: Thanks Sammy1986. It helps a bit just to put this into words and have someone say it's ok, it's normal.
Fate100percent also gave me good advice. Thank you both.... (read in full...)
I feel used. Why does he change his mind overnight?
Q. I met this guy last year when i joined uni he (lets take him as S) was my classmate, i was pretty much in my shell and very reserved and yeah more like a guy rather than a girl…. he slowly turned into my best freind the following year and he wa...
A. 17 July 2011: The how and why doesn't really matter. Jung said, 'Water flows down hill.' It seems obvious when you say it doesn't it?
Time to move on from this one I feel. It is no longer worth your attention.... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting,or is he playing me?
Q. Hi all. Your advice please!i.ve been seeing this guy for around 4 months,and am quite attached to him. Anyway,can u tell me if i.m overeacting or if he,s messing me around after the following. I came back from going away to visit family yesterday. ...
A. 17 July 2011: You have to cool it. If he's keen he'll come around sooner or later. In the meantime don't put your life on hold. He hasn't put you top of his priorities so neither should you. Go and have fun.... (read in full...)
I really like her but I'm worried I'm too eager
Q. I need some help. I'm a mature man. I have been out of a long-term relationship for about 18 months. I have been trying to sort my life out. Now I have met a woman a little younger than me, but not embarrassingly so and I really like her. I'm gett...
A. 17 July 2011: Thanks for that, 'Fate100percent'. You are right about the symptoms. I have the lot. I even got up at 4.30am to go for a run - and I don't run. It ended up a nice walk by a lake. Actually it was more of a limp than a walk but beautiful nonetheless. ... (read in full...)
Should I just ignore him or make an effort?
Q. I've quite liked this guy for the past couple of months or so, and we talk all the time. The trouble is; he keeps sending me mixed signals on whether he feels the same or not. For instance; he's always saying how pretty I am, plus last week he ...
A. 16 July 2011: If you like him then why not give him a hint and see if he responds? He may just be checking to see if you are interested and taking it slow. That's good. It's certainly peaked your interest. ... (read in full...)
How do I start to gather some self respect and finally break all ties?
Q. I have been with my married lover for 3 years. Over the years he has hurt me terribly and blamed it on 'being weak'. He has lied through his back teeth and it has gotten to the point were I'm struggling with everything he says. I am madly inlove w...
A. 16 July 2011: I really feel for you. The truth is you have to regain control of your life. You can do it in small steps if it's easier or the big break if that works better for you.
In the end you know you have to call it a day for your own self respect. If you ... (read in full...)
How can I learn who I am and change who I was?
Q. Ok. Being at age 33 I have learned that what I have done with my life just isn't enough. I have a decent job that I love helping people. I make decent money. After having been broken up for months with the same kind of women that I have dated for ...
A. 16 July 2011: You are clearly conflicted and some of the things you say appear contradictory. Perhaps you are simply an intravert. That doesn't mean you don't like people. It just means you can only take them for so long and then you need time to absorb and ... (read in full...)
I'm the perfect child yet my family loves my drugged up problem sister more!
Q. I'm in my mid-twenties and throughout my life, I have been a near-perfect daughter. I've never gotten drunk, never borrowed money without paying every cent back, never smoked, never done drugs, never lied, never stole. Yet, my parents and sister c...
A. 16 July 2011: I understand the difficulties but you do need to move. Perhaps you can share if you can't afford your own apartment. It is a courageous step and you can do it. If you have some friends they will be pleased to help. This is your chance.
As some... (read in full...)
I like being with him but he doesn't satisfy me in bed. How do I tell him?
Q. Hello there! I recently started dating a man who is 20 years older than me. He is 66 and I am 46. We met online and we had an almost immediate connection, at least on an emotional and spiritual level for me, but for him it seems that he feels he is ...
A. 16 July 2011: Since you were quite forthright about the difficulties I will be the same in my reply.
Would he give you oral sex, and would you be happy if that brought you to climax?
Sex is just a part of a relationship. One actually spends a lot of time tal... (read in full...)
Husband won't have sex and its driving us apart
Q. my husband wont have sex with me and its driving us apart. we have been married for 5 years and in the beginning it was great. but for the last 2 years im lucky if we have sex once a month, and its always me who instigates it. ive tried talking to ...
A. 28 May 2011: I agree some counselling might be the answer for you both. It may be just mid-marriage boredom. This could be fixed. Don't give up yet.... (read in full...)
I'm interested in my new co-worker but don't know if hes married or interested
Q. Hi, A new guy has just started at my workplace (last few weeks). He doesn't seem to talk to anybody much except the children (we work at a school). He does not wear a ring so I don't think he's married. Since he first started, my colleagues ...
A. 28 May 2011: Ask him, 'Do you have a partner?' If he says no ask him to meet you for a coffee somewhere. It's that easy.... (read in full...)
What can I do to keep my Long distance Relationship exciting and vibrant?
Q. Hello! I am a American boy from Texas who has fallen head over heels for a darling British girl of 18 from Guernsey, UK. We are both very spontaneous and have shared a passionate love for each other since the recent start of our relationship. We...
A. 28 May 2011: It may be difficult for you to find a partner near you but there is a poor chance of keeping this one so far away. My advice is, look nearer home for friendship. You can remain in contact with your friend overseas and who knows what may happen. In ... (read in full...)
Whar are your views on divorce and committed marriages, is it right to be unfaithful?
Q. when married, there is a committed bond between 2 people, vows are taken into this relationship. Agreements are accepted and a journey with someone in your life thats to be fulfilled till death do both apart. But when 1 is unfaithful and n...
A. 28 May 2011: You shouldn't stay in a relationship which makes you unhappy.... (read in full...)
I'm the perfect child yet my family loves my drugged up problem sister more!
Q. I'm in my mid-twenties and throughout my life, I have been a near-perfect daughter. I've never gotten drunk, never borrowed money without paying every cent back, never smoked, never done drugs, never lied, never stole. Yet, my parents and sister c...
A. 28 May 2011: Do you remember the story of the prodigal son. It sounds like your sister has bigger needs than you. You have needs too but your attempts to have them met at home have proved fruitless.
So, why are you still living at home? You have a job. Get your... (read in full...)
Is my teacher interested?
Q. should i tell my teacher i love him? he always flirts with me and hes not the flirting type at allll hes alil nerdy he makes comments like 1 day i was whislting in class and he said theres a bird in the class and someone said its hunting season a...
A. 15 November 2009: What you have described in you various posts is classic hormonal flush encountered by teenagers. It leads to irrational acts, helpless infatuation, and emotional turmoil. Society has laid a few ground rules to give us a guide when going through the ... (read in full...)
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