A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:The other day my wife and me were having an argument about me being extra comfortable with other girls. I'm just friendly and never over friendly with them but she feels otherwise. During this argument she tells me that 'she would really like me to sleep with some other girls sometime'. I'm very sincere to her in my relationship and have never deceived her. But this coming from her actually stunned me. Does she really want me to do it? Please note - I've been married for 14 years and she also know that I watch a lot of porn.
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male
reader, dusxpress  +, writes (19 January 2015):
Why are you watching a lot of porn? What is "a lot"? Is your wife still sexually active, or possibly in menopause? Do you not have enough sex with your wife, so you must masturbate?
I see it this way: if you need a lot more sex than you can have with your wife, and that is because she refuses/is not turned on/depressed, etc, I think it is not a big deal if you watch porn and masturbate. You have the right to masturbate as much as you like. Like 1-2 times a day (with or without real sex) is not something I would be too much worried about. All those who are against masturbation are idiots. As much as I hate porn websites, they are nice help during masturbation.
But if you have a possibility to have more often sex with your wife, and then you do not practice that, but masturbate, then I would say there is a psychological issue and you should talk with your doctor / psychologist
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (13 January 2015):
 You've been married to her for 14 years and you don't know her well enough to know if she means it or not?
You have a major problem in your marriage.
I suggest you ask her when you are not fighting if she meant it or not. The problem with this is that it will let her know that you can't recognize irony when it up and slaps you in the face.
Do you want a healthy marriage?
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A
female
reader, Lucky angel  +, writes (13 January 2015):
I agree with honey pie. She didn't mean this, women tend to say such things when they are upset... she probably wanted to hear something like 'i would never want to sleep with another woman, you are all I would ever want.' Perhaps you are a little bit flirty in your nature without meaning to be? Talk to her about it and tell her how much you love her :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 January 2015):
 No she didn't mean it. Don't be daft!
It's HER way of telling you she is having enough of your "friendliness" with other women. IT's her way of telling you that it HURTS her when you DO what you do. YOU have a wife at home. why NOT love her? Why chase after all these other skirts you can't even have?
You claim you are not over-friendly.... Your wife sees it otherwise. Now if SHE was acting JUST like you are, would you think that was appropriate? Doubtful.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2015): She didn't mean one word of it. It's "reverse psychology."
Asking you to do something she doesn't want you to do, to see if you'll go for the bait. Your wife is dealing with serious problems with insecurity and jealousy. You're the cause of it.
You need to stop being so extra-friendly with women and dismissing her feelings. Flirting was okay when you were a single-man. It makes a wife feel she's less attractive to you when you need to get the attention of other women. You also need to cut the porn watching; because you're making your wife feel like a roommate and friend with benefits. You are a very insensitive man, and you come off as being so innocent. You're going to lose her!
If that doesn't bother you; she'll take half of what you have and your kids with her, if you have any.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (13 January 2015):
When did your hand look like or become a vagina??? WHEN!!!
You have a real woman in your house. But you rather look at women you can't have, and fantasize about internet women??? Smart. I will take fake over real any day!!! WOW!
Your wife would rather you sleep with other REAL women than see you watch porn. You have an amazing woman right there. Hopefully, a real man will come along and give her a real marriage.
How would you feel if your wife was fantasizing about some other man, and wishing she could be having sex with him and not you??? Bet you would feel great right? After all, since you do it to her, it is okay for her to do it to you right?
Think how foolish you are... You dated your wife, married her, only to please yourself? Why didn't you marry your hand and let her have a husband she wanted?
Is that what woman are today??? A piece of house furniture! While the so called "men" sit in front of a screen jerking themselves into stupid land?
Your wife has two hands, lips, boobs, and the best part...a real, working, feel so good VAGINA!!! Then when your wife leaves you...Oh hell no. Now she is bitch, you want to kill her for doing that you, and all other stupid things, because your did not do your job as a husband.
You are lucky women don't think like men...She would have left your a** 10 years ago.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (13 January 2015):
 No, she does not mean it. She wanted you to reply: "No, I don't want to do that at all. I just want to be with you."
I don't think watching porn is helping things. She may think you don't value and treasure her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2015): Don't fall for this tactic. It will give her carte blanche to sleep with any guy that comes along and you won't be able to say a word to stop her.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (13 January 2015):
 She didn't mean it, you know she didn't mean it, she spoke in the heat of the moment, maybe you should consider your wife's feelings if she feels you are focusing on other girls too much and maybe stop watching porn, and show by your actions, not just your words, that your wife is precious and loved.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2015): You say it was an argument, was she being sarcastic? Like the way you act with women is giving the impression you would sleep with them?
It's hard to know if she meant it you're going to have to ask her, but considering you argue I would then suggest you go and sleep with someone else as it might ruin your whole marriage.
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