A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband has been abusing me verbally, emotionally, physically and financially for the last 4 years.We have been separated for a month now and he is trying to be nice sometimes and then can be nasty. I am feeling upset at the moment as I have been saying some very nasty things to him nothing compared to what he has said to me over the years but now I feel guilty for what I am doing, but it feels like it's all my anger coming out of me which I have held in. My friends say he deserves it but still I feel bad for what I am doing. He has broken my spirit and self esteem down very badly by abusing me. Is this normal for me to be shouting and verbally abusing him now and telling him what I think of him etc..?
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (10 January 2016):
 It is all your anger coming out of you. That's exactly what it is.
All that bottled up dissatisfaction was a poison. Breaking up with him lanced it so now all that pus is coming out.
Don't nurture those feelings or they'll take on a life of their own, but don't feel guilty for being truthful about what you think of him and the effect he had on you. That's not mean, it's just honest feedback. If he's never told what he did wrong he has no chance of correcting it.
A
female
reader, Songwr1ter  +, writes (10 January 2016):
Please, please, please walk away from this man... It's not safe for you. You should avoid any man who makes you feel horrible about yourself, and abuses you, especially physically... It's dangerous, and he needs help. He does NOT deserve your sympathy, he is a violent low-life. So I urge you to stay away from him, call the police if he tries to physically abuse you again, PLEASE.
Good luck... Look after yourself please...
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (9 January 2016):
 Yes, quite normal, let him know what you think, especially if he is doing the hot / cold, nice / nasty thing to you.
Think of it this way, you have tolerated his abuse for 48 months, and you have been letting him know you are unhappy for only one month ....... let it out, don't hold it in, it is part of your healing.
PS if you find you are still constantly letting it all out after another couple of months, THEN start asking if you need to seek help.
Good luck with your new life, one were you "aint gonna take no shit no more"!
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