A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been in and out of a relationship with a girl for about 7 years now. We met back in high school. Back in Dec 2014 I proposed to her but she said no. Shortly after I found out that she was having sex with one of her co-workers. she confessed to me after I found out that she was in love with him. He had a girlfriend that worked at the same place. After a while I was getting over it but I knew she was going to be hurt evenutally. After a couple months she continued to see him and have sex with him. I was begging her to stop but she kept going. This went on until July 2015. She finally convinced me that she was done and we started to work things out. In oct 2015 she told me that she had sex with him again. This sparked me to start doing it with other girls.What made things more complicated is that in 2014 before I found out about everything we got custody of my sister's kids. So after I had sex with a couple of girls I stopped but then my girl seemed like she was really changing. She's home all the time now. She helps me out when I need it. We still live together but we are not in a relationship. After I quit with the other girls. I ended up meeting a girl that I really like. I went to see her and we talked for a while but we didn't have sex. She knows about my situation with me living with my ex but she still wants to try. I'm sort of confused because my ex has changed so much but the other girl makes me feel like I did when I first met my girl. I'm supposed to be meeting her for dinner on friday but I don't know if I should or if I should just focus on working things out with my ex. Please help lol
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 February 2016):
 You ex and you... I think have WAY too much baggage, and you have both don't stupid and hurtful stuff BECAUSE of each other. Your ex didn't MAKE you cheat - that was YOUR choice - you didn't MAKE her cheat either, again HER choice. So quit the blame game there.
Taking someone "back" doesn't mean everything is going to work out. For HER (your ex) it seems she went back to you because she couldn't have the work-boytoy. So she settled for you.
And your ex should NOT be on the custody forms for your sisters children.
What I would do, is ask the ex to move out.
Take some time being single. While you CAN still get to know the new girl keep it platonic for a good while. You need to have your ex out of your system.
What you need to focus on right now... is being a good role model and "parent-replacement" for your sister's kids.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (17 February 2016):
 One chance is all people get, not a third or fourth or 56yh chance, where is the incentive to stop whatever it is if you are going to just keep on giving chances?
As for the custody issue, are you telling me your girlfriend shares custody of your sister's children with you? That some supposedly learned person in a court awarded your girlfriend, who I assume is in the same age group as you, 22 to 25, shared custody of some poor woman's children and she isn't even related to them?
Go back to court and change that, and then seriously consider if your lifestyle is conducive to raising healthy, happy children .... where are your brains and who is minding the children while their court appointed custodians are off screwing around and acting like hormone driven teenagers. Neither of you are setting a good example for those children, chuck out the ex and start growing up!
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