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I've been replying to problems for quite a while now and hope Ive helped make a difference in some way. Mostly I prefer answering questions relating to health and sex, as I feel these are the most important and I have a bit of background knowledge that I hope will be useful to others.
I tend not to answer questions I feel I'm not qualified to answer and put most of my energy into the ones I feel I am.
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Latest articles: Unprotected Sex....never worth it!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
2 September 2008: Almost every day it seems there is a post that pops up from someone who has had unprotected sex and is worried about the possibility of being pregnant or having caught a sexually tranmitted infection. Alot of the time, this is due to them being pr...
Teacher - Student Relations (Article)
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 May 2008: As an avid subject on Dear cupid I felt compelled to write an article on teacher and student relations and what becomes of them. Most of us has at one point been attracted to a teacher, whether it be that young fit sport teacher or that slightly...
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I like someone else but I have a boyfriend, is this a sign I'm unhappy in my present relationship?
Q. please help ive been going out with my boyfriend for 5 years and he is 6 years older than me so he wants the whole settling down thing im still only young and want to enjoy myself. I really fancy this guy at work i flirt with him all the ti...
A. 12 October 2008: The fact you say you wouldnt ever do anything about your attraction to this other guy, shows that you do value your relationship. Its completely normal to find someone else attractive, its human nature.
You just need to think hard about what exac... (read in full...)
We are not right for each other for marriage and we know it! How can I break away from him as I am so addicted to sex with him??
Q. i am a 28 year old woman,divorced a year and a half ago,i have been a very horny girl from the begining.I've had good sex partners before i got married and i've had a few sex partners after i got divorced too.My ex-husband however did not satisfy ...
A. 12 October 2008: You have only been divorced a year, theres no need to be in a rush to get married again, you are still young. Enjoy 'spending time' with this guy for as long as it lasts. Its never a good idea to rush from one big relationship to another so enjoy ... (read in full...)
My dad's girlfriend moved in, violates my privacy and tries to turn my dad against me, help!
Q. Hi my dads girlfriend moved in with my dad and I a couple of months ago and I am finding her unbearable. She is trying to take over my life and control me in any way possible. I am 17 and have been very independant for years. However she is ...
A. 12 October 2008: She sounds like a very unhinged woman. Having someone invade your privacy is completely unreasonable and you shouldnt have to put up with it.You might want to think about getting a lock fitted on your bedroom door and/or keeping your possessions in ... (read in full...)
I love her and her baby but I'm not sure where I stand with her and if I'm only being insecure?
Q. Ok, where to begin. So I've been in a relationship for six months now with a wonderful woman. We're both young, in our twenties but here is the catch.. she has a baby. Now, the child isn't mine biologically, but I'm terribly in love with both her ...
A. 12 October 2008: Its normal for things to get into a 'routine' after a few months together, so don't think you're alone. Talk to her, ask her if shes happy. If you're both serious about each other, maybe you want to think about moving closer to each other. Long ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant after a one night stand. Should I tell the guy? Should I tell my father? I feel so stupid, what am I going to do?
Q. should i tell a guy that im pregnant if it was a one night stand? i know his name, where he lives but i dont know how to approach him, or what to say. Im not sure what im going to do, i havent told anybody, is that wise? and if i do tell my father ...
A. 11 October 2008: Honey, I think you should really let the father know, unless ofcourse he is a violent or unstable man. You are in a difficult situation and the sooner you confide in someone you trust the better. You don't need to go through this all on your own.
T... (read in full...)
My wife is pregnant after 4 miscarriages, but the baby might have brain damage. Help?
Q. Me and my wife have been trying for a baby for over 3 and a 1/2 years now. In that time we have had 4 miscarriages. We are delighted to know that my wife is pregnant, but we have just found out that this child has a 94% chance of being brain ...
A. 11 October 2008: You've only just found out, so you are bound to be confused about your feelings right now. It might help to read up on similar situations and get in touch with other families experiencing the same.
Make sure you talk to your wife about how you feel... (read in full...)
I can't get my girlfriend's casual past out of my head!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together since 3 months now.I am 26 and she is 24.She's beautiful,sexy,honest and fun. My problem is i cant get over her casual past.It keeps haunting me. She has numerous casual sexual encounters and has tried almost...
A. 11 October 2008: I understand it must be difficult to imagine how your girlfriend used to be, but think of it this way. She hasnt been lucky enough to find a good partner in the past, thats the main reason she has has had quite a few sexual partners. And at 24, 3-4 ... (read in full...)
Should I give up that easily?
Q. So i'm dating this guy. he's a year older than me. i've known him for about a year. the whole time we've been friends he was the sweetest guy i've ever met. we just started dating 2 days ago. now it seems like he's a complete jerk. he makes jokes ...
A. 11 October 2008: Hes obviously too immature to be dating anyone. He may be sweet to you when you are alone but you deserve a more respect than that. Move on and find someone who treats you as you should be treated. x... (read in full...)
How do I get things to change?
Q. Hello, I need some advise... Please.. For the past two and a half years. I have been "talking" to someone.. Its really complicated because I want to be with him, its like we are boyfriend and girlfriend but its not. We act like it though and we ...
A. 11 October 2008: I usually don't advise laying on the pressure but in these circumstances I think you need to give him an ultimatum. Ofcourse him having a child does make things a little more complicated but it could still work fine.
After more than two years, I wo... (read in full...)
I have no idea what he wants...help!
Q. Hello, I met a bloke 3 weeks ago and we've had sex 3 times. He lives about an hour and a half away and we chat on msn and text regulary. I just don't know what he wants and it's too early to put pressure on him. I don't want to get hurt or attached ...
A. 10 October 2008: You're absolutely right wanting to know where you stand. All too often people get the wrong idea and end up unhappy.
If you feel that this could develop into a relationship, then he is probably feeling the same.
Just ask him outright, whats th... (read in full...)
My bf has really changed recently and I don't know what to make of it...
Q. hey i reali love my boyfriend and i never want to break up with him. he means a lot to me so if im going to receive advice on breaking up then please keep your advice to yourself. ive been with him for 3 years and every moment i spend wit...
A. 10 October 2008: Its normal for people to change after being together a while, after the 'honeymoon period' as its commonly known. But if his behaviour upsets you, you should really talk to him about it. He probably has no idea how you are feeling. x ... (read in full...)
Going to see a band tomorrow night but have to walk back to my house. What can I do to keep safe?
Q. Hi im 16. This isnt so much a relationship question but a question i want advice 4. Tomorrow im going into the city centre to see a band play but im walking back to my house in the middle of the night through the centre of the town. What can i do to ...
A. 10 October 2008: Get someone to meet you.
Get a taxi.
Look up late buses.
Carry a personal alarm.
Stay at a friends who lives closer.
Or..as someone once said to me 'Talk to yourself, people will think you're crazy and leave you alone' Personally Id go wit... (read in full...)
My grandmother doesn't let me have a boyfriend!
Q. my grandmother doesnt allow me to have a boyfriend.and i do.we've been going out for 5 months now and i love him,yes i do.but what i wanted to know is if i should wait till im like maybe 16 reaching on 17 to tell her and that she should meet him.and ...
A. 10 October 2008: Maybe try introducing him as a friend at first? Invite him round for tea and let her get to know him. She might change her mind once she sees hes a nice guy and that hes treating you well. x... (read in full...)
Does this make me a slag or something?
Q. im 13 but i look way older. And the other day a guy came and started talking to me and my mate. He thought i was his age and was asking which college i attended. i said i didnt go to college but he didnt believe me. He asked for my number and my ...
A. 10 October 2008: No, you're not a slag, but I feel you have been taken advantage of. This guy 'says' he dosent believe you are only 13, but chances are he does and is trying to make the justify what he is doing.
Anybody who tries it on, the second time you've met ... (read in full...)
My friend is renewing her vows. Do I still throw her a bridal shower and bachelorette party since she's already married??
Q. I was recently asked to be a Matron of Honor for my best friend's wedding next year. However, she got married 5 years ago at the Justice of the Peace. Now she's having a tradional wedding/renewal of vows. Do I still throw her a bridal shower and ...
A. 10 October 2008: Yeah, why not? I'm sure she'll appreaciate it. Maybe a spa break or something tasteful? ... (read in full...)
Are we dating if he hasn't come right out and said that? I met him online.
Q. ok i met a guy on a dating site we when out like three times we kiss on the third day. then one nite him ant i we whent out with my friends and one of my girl friend liked him.so one nite that i whent to her house i left my cell phone and she got ...
A. 16 September 2008: I've heard this situation pop up so many times amongst my friends, 'are we dating' 'should I ask him' 'how do I ask him' etc, but you don't need to put a label on this, enjoy the time you spend together and in time it will become obvious what the ... (read in full...)
My friend told me it's best to lose my virginity myself and not let my boyfriend do it....
Q. If been with my boyfriend for more that one year and i want to have sex with him (im a virgin)...so I told a friend about it and she told me that it was better that i would lose it with myself so he will not see the blood, and i wouldnt feel the ...
A. 16 September 2008: Most people do not bleed when they lose thier virginity. I understand you're friends concern but losing your virginity isnt as bad as it seems, otherwise no-one would be having sex!
And also, I imagine it would be difficult to break your own hyme... (read in full...)
I am just so outraged! Is he some kind of pervert? What should I do?
Q. I recently made a horrific discovery that is making me questioning the man I thought I loved. While helping to clean out his room, I came across a stash of some 30 or more porn magazines and several DVDs stashed away. I was shocked. He told me ...
A. 16 September 2008: He isnt' a pervert hes a normal healthy male. Most men and many women look at porn is completely natural curiosity. AS long as the people in these magazines and DVDs are of a legal age and are consenting adults then I don't see why it is a problem. ... (read in full...)
Has he lost interest because of the weight I gained during pregnancy?
Q. weve been leaving in a same house with my boyfriend since we get started our relationship it take 1year and 8months and i get pregnant. after i gave birth of our son that was two months ago i gain weight 140lbs before im just 110lbs only! where not ...
A. 16 September 2008: It really annoys me to read about women like yourself, who have just held a child for nine months, gone through childbirth and are looking after a very young baby to be under pressure to lose weight. He should respect you.
Somethings are more impo... (read in full...)
Has anyone been to a clairvoiyant and what they told you helped you make a decision in life, or do you think it's a load of rubbish?
Q. Hi, just a quick question. I was on holiday a few weeks ago at a well known seaside resort and i went to see a clairvoiyant. I'd been to this area a couple of times and have always wanted a reading, and this time i plucked up the courage to go in. I...
A. 16 September 2008: I've never been to see one personally as I find the whole concept a little scary. I'm pretty open minded about it all, though I think many 'psychics' exploit people who are at a vulnerable time, having lost a loved one or going through a major life ... (read in full...)
16 wks pregnant and my husband's just told me he's fallen out of love with me. Please help.
Q. I am 16 weeks pregnant and my husband told me after the last appointment that he has fallen out of love with me. I asked him how long he felt like this and he said just a few days. Can you really fall out of love in a matter of days? My husb...
A. 16 September 2008: Congratulations on your pregnancy. It seems to me your husband is confused.Its a major time for you both and maybe the big changes in your lives combined with his past depression is just getting to him at the moment.
All marriages go through rock... (read in full...)
Do I tell my sister her boyfriend tried it on with me???
Q. hey my sisters boyfriend just tried in on with me and i dont no if i should tell my sister i mean she really loves him and i dont wanna hurt her by telling her but wot if i dont tell her and he tries it on with other girls she will get hurt any way. ...
A. 10 September 2008: This must be very difficult for you. If it was me personally, I'd let it go this time but if it happens again let her know. Its her choice whether to believe you or not and if she dosnet, that isnt your problem.
x
... (read in full...)
Please help!! How can me and my husband get pregnant!?
Q. Hi, me and my husband been married for 1 year now and I can not get pregnant. Everything is ok with our health there is no problems. I need any ideas, or anything that you might think would help us. I don’t really know when is my ovuluation days ...
A. 10 September 2008: Only 80% of couples get pregnant within a year, so don't get too worried yet. Chances are you are just part of the unlucky few who have to wait a little longer.
Eating well and cutting your alcohol intake and quitting smoking will help.
Stres... (read in full...)
I'm having trouble down below but know I have no STD's because I've been tested! Help!
Q. Heya, I have found recently that my intimate area has been very painful. I have had unusual discharge inbetween periods, but my periods themselves have been completley normal. I haven't had sex in a depressingly long time! Although last time it ...
A. 10 September 2008: It could be a number of things. Urinary tract infection, thrush...
Most women will experience some kind of infection or problem down there at some point in thier lives.
Go to your doctor, they'll be used to being asked and will be able to give you... (read in full...)
Are there any Sagitarius women in long-term relationships?
Q. I'm with a Sagittarius woman, and was wondering if there are any Sag who've been in long-term relationships/ marriages/ or are currently married. Unfortunately my theory is that there are very few of you folk in commited relationships, but for ...
A. 10 September 2008: I'm sagittarious and I was in a long term relationship till recently. Star signs are complete fiction and cant be applied to real life... (read in full...)
Can I catch worms from a cat?
Q. This is really dum I know, but I went round to my friends house the other night and he has a cat. This cat had things like bits of cotton hanging out its bum, which I was told were worms. Can you catch this because now I cant get it out my mind and ...
A. 4 September 2008: The link below is about Roundworms.The worms you were talking about are NOT roundworms and the type your friends cat had will not be harmful to you.
Threadworms, which I believe is what you think you may have caught, also take a week or so to beco... (read in full...)
What can I do to get things back to normal?
Q. I seriously liked this boy and we sadly had sex when we were drunk in the holiday and now we have barely spoken around school since we got back. I really want things to go back to normal and not be awkward but can't stop thinking about what we did. ...
A. 4 September 2008: Talk to him! You both could sort this out easily if you had a bit of a talk about the whole situation. Let him know that still want to be friends. He is probably waiting for you to speak to him. xxx... (read in full...)
How could she be so careless with birth control?
Q. Hi, im 25 and my girlfirend 23. i am a college student with one more year to go. I've been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now. I took her virginity and we never use condoms. at first we used pull-out method, but after a few pregnancy scares, ...
A. 4 September 2008: As I see the other aunts have already given you lots of advice, I'll keep it short. You can buy a case for pills with an alarm that goes off when they are needed to be taken.Don't be too hard on her, there are plenty of other options.... (read in full...)
What are some ideas regarding exercise if you enjoy being active but the gym bores you to death?
Q. I would like to lose weight because although people don't think of me as fat, I am very self conscious about my appearance. I would like to have a nice figure, but I'm afraid that I'm nearing that age where it's impossible to lose weight. My ...
A. 4 September 2008: One of them mini peddles whilst you watch tv.
Join a dance/yoga class
Get off the bus a few stops early
Use stairs instead of lifts
Take someones' dog for a walk
If you drive, walk to the shops instead
Wear a pedometer to motivate ... (read in full...)
The woman he cheated on me with got pregnant but we're not sure that they are his!
Q. Well my story started inJan. 2008 when my husband told me he had cheated on me once in Dec 15th 2007.. I was just devasted. I have been with him for 9 yrs. we have a 7 yr old son together and i just love my family so much.. Well, he said he only ...
A. 4 September 2008: If these babies are his he has a responsibility to support them, if only financially. I understand you would like to move on but it isnt that simple.
I would estimate that had he concieved on december 15th she would have had the babies a little late... (read in full...)
I can't come and don't stay wet for long some times, why is this?
Q. me and my fience' have been together almost two years, the sex is great, but there are two problems.i cant cum, and sometimes when we have sex for a while i get dried up. why is that?...
A. 4 September 2008: Usually vaginal dryness is because you arent aroused enough. Make sure you and your partner spend alot of time on foreplay before hand and tell him what you like. Maybe use a lubricant occasionally.
If this doesn't work, then the cause if prob... (read in full...)
She's off to uni and I am over anylising everything!
Q. Hi all, Ive recently started going out with someone, its been a little over 3 weeks now. She is a great person and im really happy were seeing each other now as she simply makes my day. To the problem: She will soon be starting Uni in a weeks ...
A. 4 September 2008: I'm also going to uni in a couple of weeks time and she isnt lying, there is an awful lot to sort out. It just sounds like she might need a little space whilst she settles in at uni.
When you first start seeing someone its normal to analyse thin... (read in full...)
Desperate for parenting advice when should one mom tell the other mom her dauighter is sleeping around
Q. my daughters best friend is 15 and she recently lost her virginity. after missing her period, my daughter asked me to buy a pregnacie test so I did. Well thank god she wasnt pregnant!! I did not tell her mom I gave her the mom lecture about what I ...
A. 4 September 2008: I understand you wanting to tell her mum but I don't think much good would come from it, as like most teenage girls, she will find a way around it and do as she pleases. No one can be made to watch her all day every day.
If you're really conc... (read in full...)
If a guy that you like a lot, calls you sheltered, is that a good or a bad thing?
Q. If a guy thinks you are sheltered is that a good thing or a bad thing especially if he is Mr Outgoing and Mr Active and you really like him....
A. 4 September 2008: NOt really a good or bad thing. Just a general opinion x... (read in full...)
How can I stop my boyfriend from being so controlling?
Q. so i have this boyfriend who i think is just amazing in everyway, int he beginning of our relationship i was kinda torn between him and my fiance who i was going to marry. i was completely honest with him about the whole thing and told him that i ...
A. 2 September 2008: Be firm. Tell him he is unreasonable and that this must stop now. Do not give into his demands. If he complains, then end your relationship.
A relationship means nothing without trust and openess. It is easy to fall into the trap of a cont... (read in full...)
I want my girlfriend to try something that is not something traditionally included in the avergae sex life. How can I bring it up without her getting scared?
Q. I wont go into detail because the thing i would like is probably frowned upon by most. I really want my girlfriend to try "something" new with me. It's not something traditionally included in the avergae sex life. How can i bring it up/ ask her...
A. 2 September 2008: AS long as its legal and safe, don't worry about it. Everybody has certain sexual fantasys that they would like to try. Its completely natural, even if they are a little strange sometimes.
If asking her outright is too embarassing, mention it indi... (read in full...)
My husband and I are trying to concieve. Could we be failing because he smokes a lot of weed?
Q. Hello can someone pls help me. me and my husband been trying to get pregnant but it hasent happend .He smokes alot of weed is this the reason why?...
A. 2 September 2008: Smoking weed will affect your chances of concieving as it lowers testoterone levels and has been shown to slow the sperms mobility (they are effectively getting stoned with him!) and also lowers his sperm count.
It can take a while for some coup... (read in full...)
My post pregnancy body is putting me down!
Q. I had a baby about 6 months ago and actually lost the weight very early on without really trying. Problem is my pre-pregnancy perky breasts that were full of cleavage and looked great naked, got HUGE during my pregnancy and now have stretch marks ...
A. 2 September 2008: Remember, you had your baby only six months ago so your emotions are still going to be a little all over the place and you may be being unfair on yourself.
Also, if you are still breastfeeding they will be a bit different.
Stretch marks will fad... (read in full...)
It was the first time we engaged in sexual activities together, and he began to cry. Any insight?
Q. Hello, The guy I am with now and I have been together for about four months. The other day, we were together in his home making out and touching and such (pretty much everything but actual sex) and he began to sort of cry. I was a little confused...
A. 2 September 2008: Well I guess its likely to be either one of two things:
1.Being intimate with someone is distressing for him, maybe as a result of his upbringing or past expereinces.
or
2. When being sexual, hormones controlling emotion are released and... (read in full...)
My cat is acting weird!
Q. hi, my cat just suddenly turned into different behaviour. shes always following us and she never used to but then shel suddenly turn round hiss at you, growl, then start faoming and dribbling at the mouth. im worried what sort of illness it is c...
A. 2 September 2008: Cats often change their behaviour suddenly. Going from purring to hissing at you for no reason. If your cat is just becoming an adult then this is pretty normal. Dribbling isnt all that unusual either. As for the foaming, maybe your cat has eaten ... (read in full...)
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