A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, The guy I am with now and I have been together for about four months. The other day, we were together in his home making out and touching and such (pretty much everything but actual sex) and he began to sort of cry. I was a little confused being that I have never seen that before from anyone. It was the first time we had done such things together, but I don't really know what that means. Is he OK? Did I do something? I don't at all know what happened. I appreciate any insight, thank you.
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male
reader, daletom +, writes (2 September 2008):
P.S. - If you have been together 4 months and are at the stage of "doing everything but sex" I hope there has been some talk about "life partners". Please don't rush into a full sexual relationship just because it seems like the thing you should be doing after that much dating. (You really CAN get a lot of pleasure out of "everything but", and make full sex all the more special when the time comes.)
A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (2 September 2008):
In our culture, boys are conditioned against showing tears from the time they are only a few months old. It takes something very emotional or very wrong to make a man cry. Men cry at the death of a close family member. Men cry when they are fired from their jobs. Men cry when their children are born. (I recently learned that men sometimes cry if they are present when their daughters safely deliver a grandchild.) And yes - I cried when my wife and I took each other's virginity on our wedding night.
You are on very thin ice to explore this directly with him. He will probably resist you, make an excuse, and guard the true reasons all the more tightly. However, that doesn't mean it's necessarily wrong or improper to do so indirectly. Don't make yourself into some super-detective solving the crime of the century, and certainly don't interrogate him about it, but be alert for things that might be a clue or shed some light on his behavior.
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A
female
reader, :):):)  +, writes (2 September 2008):
Well I guess its likely to be either one of two things:
1.Being intimate with someone is distressing for him, maybe as a result of his upbringing or past expereinces.
or
2. When being sexual, hormones controlling emotion are released and can cause certain people to have intense emotions, such as crying. It isnt all that unusual as you'd think.
xxx
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A
male
reader, Straight Up1  +, writes (2 September 2008):
 Some people are very emotional creatures and it was a sign of happiness, nervousness, or gratefulness!! haaa!!I wouldn't even ask him about it...he might be embarrassed by your question. Just let it go...but if it continues to happen then perhaps he has something bothering him from his past or an experience that your being together reminds him of!!Anyways... rare time that a girl has asked this about a guy and not the other way around! hahaa!!
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A
male
reader, peakslad +, writes (1 September 2008):
 hey there. Brief reply sorry.You have done nothing wrong honey , put that out of your mind.You need to ask him what the problem was and let him know you are fully supportive of him.It is such an emotional experience for some people that crying is sometimes not that unusual.However, if there are any underlying issues you will only find out by talking to each other. Hope things are ok xxxx
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