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I love her and her baby but I'm not sure where I stand with her and if I'm only being insecure?

Tagged as: Dating, Family, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 October 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 12 October 2008)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Ok, where to begin. So I've been in a relationship for six months now with a wonderful woman. We're both young, in our twenties but here is the catch.. she has a baby. Now, the child isn't mine biologically, but I'm terribly in love with both her and her kid. I sat through her childbirth, stayed the night with her.. up until the next morning, while she bled to death out of her.. ahem, yanno. Haha, I'm pretty dedicated to this relationship, needless to say.

However, now I'm feeling as though I don't know where we stand. I work all day, five days a week. She lives hours from here.. and when she comes into town, I'm usually at work and dont get to see her until I get off, which is late. She has been hanging out with her ex sporadically, usually while I'm working. Now she is honest with me, and at least doesn't try to do this behind my back, but it still bothers me from time to time.. for obvious reasons. I know him, and we hang out on occasion, and she swears up and down that she is in love with me and he has no chance with her anymore, but things have been starting to change lately.

We used to text each other quite often.. but not she says she has nothing to say when I ask why she doesn't respond. I know she is busy with her baby, but it really bummed me out when she said we always say the same thing, every day when we text. I guess I missed this, and saw this as simple conversation. Also the things she used to say, how she used to say how happy I make her, how she wants me in her life forever, etc.- have been replaced by simple "I love you"s. She also seems to not like the idea of me wanting to hang out with her and some of her friends, as she needs her 'friend time'.

Maybe I am just being insecure.. but for good reason I'd say. I've risked more on this relationship than I probably should have, but I care about these two more than anything in this world. Help!

View related questions: at work, her ex, insecure, text

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A female reader, :):):) United Kingdom +, writes (12 October 2008):

Its normal for things to get into a 'routine' after a few months together, so don't think you're alone. Talk to her, ask her if shes happy. If you're both serious about each other, maybe you want to think about moving closer to each other. Long distance relationships can be difficult.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2008):

Does she work???? If not have you ever considered asking her to move in with you (yes i know its risky) but i think if you two were closer together and you could spend some time together then you would have more to talk about because you expereince the same thing. Offer to babysit her kid while she has friend time, it shows you are responsible and care about her enough to let her do her own thing, she will appreciate it (hopefully). Umm stop texting, its impersonal, call her..also try spicying things up a little (i mean...to quote enchanted the movie) how does she know you love her...treat her like a princess, tell her things that you love about her (remember don't just compliment her looks) send her goofy stuff or stuff that has meaning (again from enchanted) yellow flowers on a cloudy day, leave a note saying "hope this brightens your day". If she still doesn't repsond how you want (when you next see her) sit down and have an adult conversation, ask her whats wrong and how things could improve, hopefully you can fix it, if not i'm sorry .

Hope i helped even a little ^.^ Good luck you sound like a great guy!

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