A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Well my story started inJan. 2008 when my husband told me he had cheated on me once in Dec 15th 2007.. I was just devasted. I have been with him for 9 yrs. we have a 7 yr old son together and i just love my family so much.. Well, he said he only did it once and it made him sick (which he had been sick the whole month of Dec.). To make things worse, guess what, she was pregnant. She harassed us like crazy til i threatened the police on her and she finally admitted to my husband she had been with 5 other guys in that 2 week period of time(how nasty) and told him he wasn't the father of her TWINS. Well i stayed with my husband becaue i do love him, but i thnk about it everyday. She had the babies on Aug 19th, i feel it is to soon for them to be his the dates just don't add up, but now that is on my mind all the time. I asked him to get a DNA test to just clear everything up cause i need some peace but he just says they ain't his. I don't want 5 yrs down the road for her to show up wanting money from him and stuff, i want it all out now so i can decide what to do with me and sons life. I am so confused. Anyone got any advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, :):):)  +, writes (4 September 2008):
If these babies are his he has a responsibility to support them, if only financially. I understand you would like to move on but it isnt that simple.
I would estimate that had he concieved on december 15th she would have had the babies a little later than she did, but you can never be too sure.
He is being unreasonable not taking a test. They are expensive, but its cheaper than paying child support for 18 years, it is important for everybody involved that the father is revealed.
Explain that she may ask for maintence and that a test can put a stop to all this worrying. Be firm its the least thing he can do for you.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (4 September 2008):
You took him back. You are forgiving him so YOU get what you want, and if that involves a swab being taken from the inside of his mouth then he better damn well do it.
This girl will probably also be happy to get the baby / babies tested as it will help her to get child support from the real father through process of elimination.
Once they are born, get in touch with her, plan the test then just tell your husband you have arranged it and he IS going to go down and get tested FOR YOU. Tell him there will be no argument and it is the very least he owes you.
Once it's off your mind then you can hopefully move on so it is in his interest to do it.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (4 September 2008):
 I suspect this is one of those situations that illustrates why lawyer's wives wear mink coats. If I were in that situation, I'd talk to my attorney and find out just where I stand legally in my own state (and presumably the "other woman's") with respect to possible paternity liability and rights to information. Then follow his or her advice. There may be a way that your husband can shield himself legally from the possibility of future financial responsibility by establishing now that the children are not his. But his attorney should be the one to advise him about what the best steps to take actually are.
Think of the attorney's fees and the cost of following the attorney's advice as the price of insurance for your peace of mind for the future, so that you don't have this threat hanging over your head for the next decade or two.
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