A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I recently made a horrific discovery that is making me questioning the man I thought I loved. While helping to clean out his room, I came across a stash of some 30 or more porn magazines and several DVDs stashed away. I was shocked. He told me that he'd had them since before we were together, when he went through a lengthy single period, and simply hadn't cleaned the place out in months, so the porn was still there.I am just so outraged. Is he some kind of pervert? What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): Your outraged... well I am too.. You present as aged 26-29 and currently living in the UK..
What kind of repressed, fucked up background have you been exposed to. I live in the UK.. Haven't you seen the amount of sexual activity that is promoted in the UK. Haven't you seen Jordan with her oversize tits, haven't you ever seen page three, have you never looked at Channel Four. Have you never looked at a woman's magazine which encourages every woman to be an adventurous whore in the bedroom... Are you a nun, or have you been living in a time-warp from the 18th Century and never talked to a modern man or woman. I would suggest you keep your mouth shut, your views on sex and pornography are very strange. Even my old Jamaican mother (65years) has her porn collection and vibrator, and she's a Christian and was repressed by sex. You need to lighten up or move, because in the current European climate, you are the repressed, strange person afraid of sex and you leave the rest of us confused.... 21st century babes, sex is cool and fun.. Lighten up, before he leaves you for someone that is more normal and more straight thinking than you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): having the prob myself ,wish i had an answer for u,have been married for 39 years
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A
female
reader, HOLLEE Price  +, writes (19 September 2008):
i think this is trouble.......he may be and most likely a sex addict
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A
female
reader, Aeval  +, writes (18 September 2008):
 um no hes normal... its only porn get over it
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2008): everybody watches porn
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2008): its porn.
guys get horny.
duh.
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A
female
reader, helpme86 +, writes (16 September 2008):
I don't understand it. He is a man and it is porn. I am a woman who thouroughly enjoys it but not because I am not attracted to my boyfriend. I am sure he feels the same it's not that he isn't attracted to you. I suppose it's a hard thing to explain unless you enjoy porn. Don't fret though it has nothing to do with you not satisfying him I am sure. Good luck sweetheart!
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A
female
reader, ZeeZee +, writes (16 September 2008):
I think you're overreacting by FAR. Porn is just porn. It's not like finding pictures from other women with lovenotes attached.
It might sound weird... but you're young. Why not experiment with him a little and spice things up?
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A
female
reader, Devilish Angel +, writes (16 September 2008):
 Porno is just porno. You're probably hurt that he's looking at other naked chicks. It makes you question how he views you. Does he not think you're sexy? Why does he have to look at other women to get off? Men are visually stimulated. Its understood. Don't question your body. You already have a hard time when you compare yourself to other women. You know you do it at least once. I do it sometimes myself. However, he is with you, because he loves you. He loves you. Your body, your eyes, your heart. You. Don't let some mass produced pictures ruin your relationship.
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (16 September 2008):
 Every male i've know has had porn stashed away someplace.
This is normal for them. It doesn't make him a pervert. This makes him a male.
Don't be outrage, try to be understanding. Sometimes they need it for themselves and it has nothing to do with you so don't take it personally. That's just my take, ..as long as he's not doing what he's learned in the DVD's on other women. It's all good.
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A
female
reader, blackROSE1916 +, writes (16 September 2008):
No I believe it's natural for men to look@ Porno~ the problem comes in IF he ever gets on dating sites/porno to meet women to have actual sex. If he is at home with you every night, your sex life is great, then just keep an eye out for any changes but sounds like a normal guy!!
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A
female
reader, Lilly Rose +, writes (16 September 2008):
 You only found porn why get so worked up about it? Better then finding a pair of lace knickers!
Maybe have a look at a few of his dvds you may enjoy them together! You cant question his love over some porn dvds! Thats just silly! He is a man thats what they do! Aslong as hes loving you and sleeping in your bed dont worry about it!
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A
male
reader, Fluxual +, writes (16 September 2008):
I really don't see what is perverted about masterbation. Men produce millions of sperm every day and unless you're willing to service him regularly he has the option of either releiving himself or walking around with a boner all day.
My girlfriend is a biologist and as such is very unerstanding about my need to masterbate.
If you are so outraged about him thinking about other women in a sexual way, then take some naughty pictures of yourself for him to use. If your relationship's a healthy one then i'm sure he'll be over the moon.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (16 September 2008):
 Oh my god! A man with porn! Shock horror!
Where did you grow up? Was it hard living under a rock?
Wether you agree with porn or not, in 2008 surely no mature woman can be unaware that it is a huge industry and that somebody somewhere must be buying it?
What should you do? Take a reality check.
This attitude was out of date in the 1900's
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A
female
reader, sugar_sugar +, writes (16 September 2008):
 He might be telling the truth about having it before you two got together. Just like some women tend to keep a tonne of gossip magazines they've accumulated over the years, men generally stash porn magazines or dvds away, maybe even without a second thought.
If it bothers you discuss it with him, negotiate and find a scenario that makes you both happy. Don't give him an ultimatum "It's me or the magazines" but don't settle for an outcome that make's you unhappy either.
I also recommend maybe watching some porn, not the videos he has but have a look on the internet yourself and take the shock and awe away from the subject. Even if you dont't like it you may find it a lot less bothersome.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (16 September 2008):
 No, not a pevert just a normal guy although the magazines suggest a quaintly old-fashioned aspect in an era when everything is digital, online and downloadable. You would be hard pressed to find a man without some porn stashed somewhere.
Of course, if there is anything really weird going on in those magazines then you may have a problem on your hands ...
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (16 September 2008):
 Of course hes not a pervert. If you didnt know already porn is completly legal (as long as the actors are)
My question is how was your relationship before you discovered it, i bet it was good. If it was, why does the porn matter now?
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female
reader, :):):) +, writes (16 September 2008):
He isnt' a pervert hes a normal healthy male. Most men and many women look at porn is completely natural curiosity. AS long as the people in these magazines and DVDs are of a legal age and are consenting adults then I don't see why it is a problem.
Watch one, one day, you might like it.
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A
female
reader, calico +, writes (16 September 2008):
 I'm sorry, but I would be upset too. I know its life and there are going to be temptations and stuff, but it at the same time should not get in between a relationship. Are you two sexually active w/ eachother?...if so, I wouldnt quite understand why he would need those porn items. Have you tryed talking to him about how much it really bothers you? Who knows, maybe he is telling you the truth about having them when he was single, and if that is the case, there is not much you can do. If you feel like he is a pervert and your not quite sure who he is when it comes to all this stuff.... talk to him. That is all you can do. If it turns out that he does have an addiction to it, well... in my opinion, it can be a bad thing because it is a real ADDICTION...
I dont know.. everyone has a different opinion on this subject, so its hard for me to really say. If you feel uncomfortable about it, you should not have to hide it. Talk about it openly and find out all the facts. Good luck 2 u!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2008): Nothing! Why are so many women so upset about porn? Its life! Watch it with him dont be a stooge. So if you saw a book that came with a dvd with real hot muscular guys your saying you wouldnt be tempted to get it. Whatever. You would be
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