A
female
age
36-40,
*ovely20
writes:weve been leaving in a same house with my boyfriend since we get started our relationship it take 1year and 8months and i get pregnant. after i gave birth of our son that was two months ago i gain weight 140lbs before im just 110lbs only! where not active on sex right now before we make it everyday! he told me while ago that im not attractive to him anymore because of my figure! and he told me also we will be sex if my my figure will back! now im trying myself to loss my weight ! it really affect having sex if your partner is fat? if you love the person it doesnt matter if your partner is fat! i can tell that my boyfriend that still love me and care for me and hes still sweet to me but why he dont want to make love with me? hes nothing to be woried cause im taking pills! it bother me so much i dont know if he still love me!! i dont want to put that in my mind cause i know ill be the one to suffer! but i cant force myself to stop thinking of it! i just love my boyfriend thats why i think about sex with him! and im just miss him so much! he doesnt know that im suferring now! what would i do? am i going to tell him about my feeling? but im scared and ashamed to him! what would i do pls help me!
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female
reader, :):):)  +, writes (16 September 2008):
It really annoys me to read about women like yourself, who have just held a child for nine months, gone through childbirth and are looking after a very young baby to be under pressure to lose weight. He should respect you.
Somethings are more important than weight. Your boyfriend is completely out of line speaking to you like that. At 140 lbs you are just normal size.
It usually takes longer than just two months to lose baby weight aswell.
If he says he thinks you are unattractive again, tell him that looking after your baby is more important than you losing weight and if he dosnet like it then thats his own selfish problem.
Be proud of yourself for becoming a mother and enjoy your time with your little one, thats all that really matters.
xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2008): I am sorry to hear your predicament. Pregnancy fat is troublesome enough. Not to mention you have to take care of the little one...
The birth of a baby is a blissing. Your boyfriend, the baby's father, must want you and the baby to be healthy too. During the last few months of your pregnancy, he might not be able to make love to you. He might find himself wanting to protect you instead, to carry you up flights of stairs, to wrap you in blankets, and to bring you cups of custard. I guess this can explain why he has been sweet to you. Perhaps he is not accustomed to the sudden change of your body figure. If you two still have affection towards each other, it doesn't take long for the sexual drive to come back.
And he has proven that even he no longer has a strong sexual drive towards you, he would still treat nicely.
Regarding to your weight, many mothers loss weight through breast-feeding and child-caring. So you don't have to worry too much about your body figure.
Moreover, once you have developed a strong bonding with your baby, you will worry less about whether he is physically attracted to you.
I hope my advice can help.
Good luck to you and your baby :)
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A
female
reader, SugarCookie  +, writes (15 September 2008):
Your boyfriend doesn't sound like he loves you. You just gave him a child and he is telling you you are fat. Its not like you spent 9 months eatting ice cream watching tv. No you were creating a person. Hunny if your boyfriend loved you you could gain 500 pounds and he would still find you attractive. i think its time to meet someone new.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2008): This... doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at ALL. You really need to start to worry about yourself. I was in a similar situation. I started off at 104lbs and gained up to 160lbs during the pregnancy and then dropped to 140lbs. I wasn't happy with my own weight, but it takes time to lose it - and the man i was with was SO unsupportive. Isn't that what marriage is supposed to be based on? Trust and support of one another? I think you need to have a long talk with your other half about this situation. Remember, just because you gained a few pounds during your pregnancy doesn't mean you're not attractive, and if he's behaving this way it doesn't seem like a very good sign for the future.
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