A
female
age
30-35,
:):):)
writes:As an avid subject on Dear cupid I felt compelled to write an article on teacher and student relations and what becomes of them.Most of us has at one point been attracted to a teacher, whether it be that young fit sport teacher or that slightly crazy science teacher.But what exactly happens when this becomes a fixation?As people we search for someone with a caring and understanding nature, qualities teachers almost always possess. Is it any wonder we all seem to fall under the spell?Teachers are specifically trained to treat their students as nice as possible, sometimes it may feel that a certain teacher is especially nice to you, but in many cases, another ten pupils in your class are thinking the same! The key is to treat it as it is- a crush.Nobody wants to write a doting love letter then get told that it is wrong, especially not by someone who teaches you geography on a monday morning!If every teacher a pupil was besotted with was as besotted with them back, schools wouldnt be schools they'd be speed dating events!And what would a Teacher-Student relationship end up like if it was for real?Well the teacher is questions would almost certainly lose their job, (even if you were 16) you will be the cause of that and mum and dad wouldnt be too happy that you had brough Mr.Jones home for tea.So I hope that answers some questions that are surfacing out there!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): "I want some crusha... A glass of crusha... It's tough enough, to make milk shake!!"
Wow. Great advert Tisha!
A
female
reader, :):):) +, writes (29 May 2008):
:):):) is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the link Tisha, I think thats the first time I've seen the situation from a teachers side of things!
Thanks for all the feedback!
xxx
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 To the last anon poster, yes, of course you're right, we shouldn't undermine the importance of the FEELINGS of the students, nor for that matter the feelings of the teachers. So I'm sure I'm sorry if you felt in any judged by this article or the replies. It's really a question of semantics as to which word is most appropriate for the feelings, love, like, crush; whatever the word is, it is a genuine, heartfelt emotion.
That being said, however, there is a BIG difference between having the feelings and ACTING on them. There are times in life when acting on a feeling is completely inappropriate. And in the the case of the student/teacher relationship, ACTING on the feeling, i.e. telling the teacher about those feelings, is what is inappropriate. Do you see the difference?
You're right, teachers are in a position of authority and should not use that to act inappropriately themselves. But they also have studied for years to become teachers, taken tests, obtained their credential and qualifications because they want to TEACH young people. Losing this career, being fired, not having the income to pay their bills or feed their families, THIS is the outcome of a 'feeling' causing a behavior causing an action causing a reaction.
So, sorry for using the word 'crush' so lightly, I acknowledge the fact that you're entitled to your feelings. What you're not entitled to do is to ruin a promising career because you can't see the difference between feelings and inappropriate behavior.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): I'm sorry but although i see where this article is coming from, i BEG to differ.Teachers ARE trained to keep a professional distance between themselves and their students, not necessarily to treat them as nice as possible.you MUST remember, teachers are HUMANS, only in authority that's all. They are no different and contain no different qualities or attributes as any other humans, and it is only natural for them to treat one particular student differently as they feel emotionally attracted to them. Yes, it may be morally wrong, but NO it is NOT impossible.And furthermore, not all feelings students (OR teachers for that matter) feel are CRUSHES, some are MUCH more serious, some may even be LOVE.Nevertheless, in MOST cases it IS a crush, but do not undermine all circumstances. Sometimes in fact it is the teachers fault for growing too close to the student only causing the student to fall for them. It is never right to tell someone on here that what they feel is any less than what they say it is.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 May 2008):
There was a really interesting question posed by a teacher on the receiving end of this unwanted, unasked for attention by besotted students. What an eye opener for the students!
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/a-student-is-in-love-with-me-how.html
I think we can direct the 'crushers' (LOL LJ001!) to this article in the future....
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): Oooo too much coffee. I meant crush! Not curhs...
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): Male reader, you can't get her out of your head because it's a curhs. But all will sort itself out, because if your relationship was meant to be, then it would at least be legal. Good luck sweetheart :]
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): ok the article is help. I myself love a teacher but everyone keeps saying to let it go because it is just a school boy crush but I can't get her out of my head so that doesn't really help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): Great article, I just hope some of those doting school girls read it! Save a lot of work for the moderators!
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