A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:please help ive been going out with my boyfriend for 5 years and he is 6 years older than me so he wants the whole settling down thing im still only young and want to enjoy myself. I really fancy this guy at work i flirt with him all the time. i would never do anything but i dont know whether this is a sign im not happy with my boyfriend even though i love him to pieces and do want to settle down with him just not now
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female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (12 October 2008):
 You said it yourself, he wants to settle down and you don't.
It sounds like you are craving a bit of fun and seeing as you have been together quite a while, this is normal as once you settle into a routine with someone, you tend to lose this initial spark.
Figure out what you want, do you want to stay with your boyfriend, do you feel happy despite missing having fun? Maybe you should try spicing things up and doing the things you did when you first got together.
A
female
reader, :):):) +, writes (12 October 2008):
The fact you say you wouldnt ever do anything about your attraction to this other guy, shows that you do value your relationship. Its completely normal to find someone else attractive, its human nature.
You just need to think hard about what exactly you want. x
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (12 October 2008):
 IT all depends....you're young and perhaps you're not ready to make your final choice for a partner. You said you would "never do anything" behind your boyfriends back. The truth is that you already are. Recognizing you are attracted to someone is one thing. Flirting is common too. But when you actually like the other person and you're giving signs by flirting, you are disrespecting your boyfriend.
You are actually making a statement that even though you are with someone else fancy the other guy too. Of course this is something that would be very hurtful to your boyfriend.
So, you can see that being attracted to another man is normal. Flirting under some circumstances is normal too. Letting this grow any bigger before you make a choice is a form of cheating. At this pace, it will continue to grow, little by little until you do something you regret.
Your best choice is to do things in the right order. Do not flirt with the other guy. Think about what you want. If you want to date others, become single. It will hurt your boyfriend but not as much as if he finds out there is someone else.
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