A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:should i tell a guy that im pregnant if it was a one night stand? i know his name, where he lives but i dont know how to approach him, or what to say. Im not sure what im going to do, i havent told anybody, is that wise? and if i do tell my father that im pregnant i wouldnt have a place to stay.. i feel stupid and i know it was a mistake but abortion is murder so thats out of the question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008): It would be really best to tell him as soon as possible. I had the same thing happen to me but I was already 27 years old. I should have known better but sometimes alcohol gets the best of you. I waited about four months to tell the father though because I was not sure if I wanted him in my baby's life. If you want him to be there, I think you should tell him as soon as possible. In my case, I didn't want him there with me just because I was having his baby. When I finally told him, he was a little bit scared because he already had a serious girlfriend. Eventually, he broke up with that girlfriend and he's gone through several more girlfriends but he and I have always remained friends - in fact, we've grown to be pretty good friends and he's always helped me with things that I've needed. My son is now 6 years old and we're doing the best we can to raise him. Whatever you do, do not get angry with him if he has a reaction that you're not expecting. Remember, you weren't expecting the pregnancy either so he'll probably be shocked. Don't be upset either if he asks for a DNA test - I don't think it's anything personal - he just doesn't know your history that well just like you don't know his history all too well. My prayers are with you and I hope everything works out for you.
A
female
reader, :):):)  +, writes (11 October 2008):
Honey, I think you should really let the father know, unless ofcourse he is a violent or unstable man. You are in a difficult situation and the sooner you confide in someone you trust the better. You don't need to go through this all on your own.
The big question is, are you ready to be a mother? If not, nobody will judge you for not keeping it, its your decision. Whatever is best for you and the baby. x
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A
female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (8 October 2008):
 Hey there. This is a really difficult situation to be in - and I can understand why you are feeling so overwhelmed and confused about what to do! Have you got anyone you can confide in and ask for support? This isn't something you should try and carry on your own - and lets face it, it's not something you're going to be able to hide for long!
Is your relationship with your father OK? Why do you think he would kick you out? I doubt he'll be over the moon - but at the end of the day you're his daughter and he loves you, do you think you should give him the chance to support you?
Perhaps you should see your Dr or a family planning clinic/health clinic - and talk to someone like a social worker or counsellor about your options, there are other things besides abortion or keeping the baby yourself. You need to be fully informed before you make any decisions.
You should be getting medical support anyway - so maybe that's he place to start?
As for telling the father of the baby - that's something you don't have to decide straight away - maybe you're best off focusing on you and what you are going to do for now?
This isn't something you planned - but it's something you can work out. It'll be OK.
Talk to someone close to you - get some support and take it from there.
Best of luck.
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