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... Send *inacandida a private message | | | *inacandida's profile:Ive been a foster carer for 20 yrs. My qualifications incude Consumer law, basic counselling, Psychology, sociology,
Im a down to earth honest person. I like to think that I'm a good judge of character. I have been with my partner for 40 years. I live in Yorkshire, England.
My hobbies are many but most recent is painting people pets on to pebbles. |
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| Latest articles: How we met
No replies yet... 17 August 2021: I met my husband when we were teenagers. My brother kept coming home from school upset because of a lad who was always picking on him. I just flipped one day and being a bit of a Tomboy I donned my platform boots on, given to me by my sister in law ...
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My bf says he was drinking alone but then what was the deal with all those cups and glasses?
Q. I dropped in on my boyfriend of 2 years unexpectedly after a night he was drinking. When I walked into the lounge he had two cups out and two small glasses but says he was drinking alone. Wee have a good relationship and there isn't any other ...
A. 1 September 2021: Was there any other clues in the house that may suggest anyone being there previously? A couple of glasses out may also be that he doesnt like to wash them up straight away. If there was something he wanted to hide then i should think he woukd have ... (read in full...)
How do I move on from this? I feel my boyfriend was really out of line!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years, he is generally quite a loving and doting boyfriend but very headstrong and stubborn in his beliefs that results in my concerns always not being heard in the relationship. Recently, as w...
A. 1 September 2021: It doesnt sound like theres anything extreme to worry about. Are you all friends together on the st. Keep your eye on things to see if touching becomes a regular thing between them. It may just be an innocent move thats all.... (read in full...)
I like this girl but I'm not ready for a serious commitment of any sort.
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been seeing this girl for a 2ish years. When we first met we were both pretty adamant that marriage was off the table. I told her I didn't see myself marrying and we continued to see each other. She's slowly made passes about mov...
A. 1 September 2021: You obviously dont want the same thing. Let her go so that she can fulfil her life. ... (read in full...)
I fear my long time boyfriend has a hidden iPhone that he uses to communicate with another woman but he keeps denying it. What do I do?
Q. Hi. I am hoping everyone here could provide me with some advice. I am very upset with my long time boyfriend and I am deciding on whether I need to continue this relationship. He and I have been living together for 3 months and together for 8 y...
A. 31 August 2021: I must admit my ipad has detected other people logging in from other locations. When i made enquiries about that i was advised to change my passwords. Do your research before making any rash decisions.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend had an abortion after an unwanted pregnancy. Will it get easier?
Q. I’m 26 and my gf is 19. When we first met I really tried to not let my feelings get the best of me and I tried to basically not like her. That didn’t work. We ended up spending a lot of time together and started dating. Dating during Covid was ...
A. 31 August 2021: Youve shown her that you are there for her. Thats all you can do. Maybe she will just cooe with the situation and move on, after all she said that she wasnt ready for kids yet. If in the future it begins to affect her you will hopefully be astute to ... (read in full...)
Am I just too slow to move on?
Q. Hi, just looking for some advice. So about 2 years ago, I met someone and we worked well together, so eventually we began a relationship. She was my first and only girlfriend so far, and it lasted for only a few months before she left me for anot...
A. 31 August 2021: Get yourself out and see whos out there. There must be something good about you for your ex to have stayed with you for two years. A lot of people out there seem to go from one person to the next within days or weeks. Just concentrate on going out ... (read in full...)
I don’t know if I should stick with my boyfriend or leave
Q. Hey Cupid’s, I’ve been feeling a certain way with my boyfriend a while now that things aren’t quite right. We live together and although we love and respect each other in certain ways. I don’t know if I can see myself growing old with him and fee...
A. 31 August 2021: So sorry for your loss. You are still grieving so you will be dealing with many emotions. Give yourself time to grieve and have a think about your relationship further along. Women usually mature a bit quicker than men but he is at that age where ... (read in full...)
In love with 2 sisters
Q. I am in a relationship for more than 15 years with my girlfriend, we are not married and seems that we won't because we don't believe on that kind of rituals. We live together, have a home and no kids yet. She have a sister that is about 10 years yo...
A. 31 August 2021: I think you are wanting to have your cake and eat it. All living together will not work. Its not fair on the lady who has been with you for 15 years. You may be taking advantage of her younger sister. If you arent sure of your feelings you shoukd ... (read in full...)
In love with 2 sisters
Q. I am in a relationship for more than 15 years with my girlfriend, we are not married and seems that we won't because we don't believe on that kind of rituals. We live together, have a home and no kids yet. She have a sister that is about 10 years yo...
A. 31 August 2021: I think you are wanting to have your cake and eat it. All living together will not work. Its not fair on the lady who has been with you for 15 years. You may be taking advantage of her younger sister. If you arent sure of your feelings you shoukd ... (read in full...)
He claims he loves me but I really don't know if his love for me is based on what I provide for him
Q. Hello, My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years now. He claims he loves me but I really don't know if his love for me is based on what I provide for him. He bought some land and now needs financial assistance with it. O...
A. 31 August 2021: There you go, youve given him money in the past and he hasnt paid you back. So now you know not to trust tgat he will pay the next amount back. Its not you thats got this project going on its him and he shoukdnt be relying on you to pay for it. Tell ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I worked for same company. He got fired and is now pressuring me to quit
Q. Hello, I have been with my partner for almost two years, were engaged. I work for a pretty good company I actually got him hired were I worked. I have been with the company for 3 years. The company I work put me in a manager training class w...
A. 31 August 2021: You obviously are well thought of in your job. Dont quit. Jobs that you are good at and enjoy are few and far between. He is jealous. He sounds like he has some problems. He will hold you back. Do what is best for you and if he holds you back and ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I worked for same company. He got fired and is now pressuring me to quit
Q. Hello, I have been with my partner for almost two years, were engaged. I work for a pretty good company I actually got him hired were I worked. I have been with the company for 3 years. The company I work put me in a manager training class w...
A. 31 August 2021: You obviously are well thought of in your job. Dont quit. Jobs that you are good at and enjoy are few and far between. He is jealous. He sounds like he has some problems. He will hold you back. Do what is best for you and if he holds you back and ... (read in full...)
Why would my partner want to leave his seven year old son suddenly?
Q. Why would my partner want to leave his seven year old son suddenly? I am lost because its been the plan to move to his city until his son was 18. He also, comments that he never wanted his son. He wanted his ex to get an abortion. My partne...
A. 31 August 2021: The times ive heard someone say that they want to join the military. Any way he seems to be shirking responsibility with his son so I wonder what other responsibilities he will not want to commit to, you? Or any children he may have with you. Have a ... (read in full...)
Should I dump my boyfriend?
Q. I have been seeing my boyfriend for almost a year now and between then we have had several arguments about discussing our needs and what we want from the relationship. He has a busy life working 3 part time jobs (All 3 hours each every day) as well ...
A. 31 August 2021: Concentrate on your studies to get where you want to be in your life. You could be holding him back. If youre not getting the attention you need from him it will certainly have a massive impact on your relationship. Sometimes if you come across as ... (read in full...)
I want kids and he doesn't. Why is he so selfish?
Q. Good day everyone. I've met someone and loved him with my body and soul. His 47 and im 41. He has 3 kids and was never married. I have no kids.the guy has just told me that he doesn't need any kids. My problem is I'm so much inlobe with him ...
A. 31 August 2021: I dont blame him for not wanting any more kids. Alot of people have kids at a younger age for a reason. Theres a few risks involved with women having babies over a certain age. I wouldnt try to push it with him, you could end up being a singke ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend had an abortion after an unwanted pregnancy. Will it get easier?
Q. I’m 26 and my gf is 19. When we first met I really tried to not let my feelings get the best of me and I tried to basically not like her. That didn’t work. We ended up spending a lot of time together and started dating. Dating during Covid was ...
A. 27 August 2021: Youve both had to deal with the abortion. There coukd be a number of feelings about it and Im sure guilt coukd be one of them. If these feelings arent rackled now tgey coukd come back at you later and damage your relationship. You could both go and ... (read in full...)
My partner puts little effort into pleasing me during sex
Q. Hi all, I am having a problem with my significant other and our sex life, I rarely have an orgasm whenever we have sex, mainly because he puts little to no effort into getting me ready. I will perform oral sex on him etc he does too but not all the ...
A. 27 August 2021: Dont please him first. Make him wait until you are ready. ... (read in full...)
Guy has criminal background. When do you let the past be the past?
Q. Over the course of a year, I have fallen in love with a man who occassionally comes to service my work place’s building. He has also developed feelings for me which we both recently admitted to. The characteristics he has exhibited...
A. 27 August 2021: Give him a chance. Everyone deserves a second chance. We all have to grow up some time and act more responsibly.... (read in full...)
Is my LDR losing interest?
Q. I'm in a ldr with a man 30 from a different country and have been for 8 months. The beginning was amazing as always. He was full of compliments and we never argued. We finally met months down the line and had a great time although we had a few squa...
A. 27 August 2021: At this stage in a relationship it should be classed as the honeymoon period. Get out now whike you can. Theres too many obstacles in your way.
Go with your gut reaction, you feel somethings not right so it probably isnt.... (read in full...)
US Expats in Netherland dealing with Depression
Q. We're American expats in the Netherlands, been here since April 2012. Life has been good, although we've had clashes over friendships; my fiance tries/tried to stay within an expat bubble of Americans, Canadians, Australians and British people a...
A. 27 August 2021: Your husband could be suffering from home sickness, maybe feeling out of sorts and in a wilderness kind of state, away from the normality he was used to. I personally habpve had tgat feeling if being home sick in the past it came about a month after ... (read in full...)
My wife complains often and does little
Q. How do I get my wife to stop complaining about things that don't seem to exist? I have been married for 15 years. The last 7 years it's been a battle. Honey I can't get off the couch my stomach hurts too much, honey my head is hurting. I offe...
A. 27 August 2021: Take your wife to the doctors. She does sound depressed. Isnt there something she could do to be able to live her life happier, can she go to work, have any friends or hobbies you could encourage that. If she is going through the menopause some of ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to make rules for my cheating boyfriend?
Q. I’ve recently taken back my boyfriend after he cheated on me. Am I right in telling him he can’t go out with his mates because I think they are a bad influence on him? The last thing I’d ever want to be is a controlling partner as I cannot STAN...
A. 27 August 2021: If he was serious about coming back to you then he must change his lifestyle and not go out with his single friends. Simple as that really.... (read in full...)
I'm concerned about my dad's health
Q. I concerned for my dad's health. He's obsessive over fast food, and demands we eat it six times a week; gets angry about not being able to have access to it, and even has taken out a loan for fast food. He spends hours driving to and from...
A. 27 August 2021: I think your dad is actually addicted to fast foods by what you are saying. You say he demands that you eat it six times a week. Although he cant make you eat it I can see it would be difficult for you to stop him eating it. My advice wold be to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend demanded a new phone from me, got it, and then told me that I'm stingy and petty
Q. Hi and thanks! My boyfriend and I have been together almost 2 years. I recently purchased a new cell, it was well needed as my other one was old and not functioning properly. My bf decided he should also have a new one, at my expense. I was ...
A. 24 August 2021: I dont think my husband of 40 yrs would demand anything off me. Now if he had a different approach he might get something. ... (read in full...)
A deleted contact (a woman) has reappeared on my husband’s phone contacts list after she was deleted in June!
Q. Hi everyone. I’m at a loss right now. And I need your help. I have been with my husband for 8 years. I was a single mom when we met. He has embraced my son and generally he has been good to me. The relationship is not perfect and it is rocky at t...
A. 17 August 2021: As a former foster carer I can tell you that you wouldnt believe what goes on with online stuff on phones and apps. Theres just too much messaging and chatting and dating,social media sites out there and its just so easy to get peoples phone numbers ... (read in full...)
I made him number one in my life. Why am I not his?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for a year now and its going better then good he’s the most loving and caring man I’ve ever met. We love each other and everyday he goes above and beyond for me to make me feel special and loved. I had a very rough ...
A. 17 August 2021: He sounds like he is a wonderful man. You are blessed. Let him enjoy his friends theres nothing wrong with that. Girls usually know when they have a player. Youve a long way to go with your life together, grow together and learning about all aspects ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried because I know he liked my Sister back in the day?
Q. I really like my new boyfriend but my only problem is that I know he liked my sister once upon a time. They were in the same year at school and used to walk home together a lot. In fact I saw them snogging once outside our house. This was about 4 ...
A. 17 August 2021: Dont worry to much. My sister and I had a switch with boyfriends many topines over the years. We eventually settled with the ones we loved with no complications.... (read in full...)
Should I be worried because I know he liked my Sister back in the day?
Q. I really like my new boyfriend but my only problem is that I know he liked my sister once upon a time. They were in the same year at school and used to walk home together a lot. In fact I saw them snogging once outside our house. This was about 4 ...
A. 17 August 2021: Dont worry to much. My sister and I had a switch with boyfriends many topines over the years. We eventually settled with the ones we loved with no complications.... (read in full...)
I regret doing so much for people over the years. Only to find myself alone that too on my birthday
Q. I can’t help but feel disappointed. My bday will be by time this message gets posted and I feel so alone. I have text a few friends that may have forgotten but they are busy. Close friends knew but are working and have made no plans to even just ...
A. 16 August 2021: Happy birythday! I know how you feel. I like to count my birthday cards each year. Each year they get less and less. It might be an idea to set a coupke of dates free around the time of your special day and ask some friends if they can do drinks. ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm living with Mr. Perfect and its making the relationship hard to maintain
Q. Hello aunts and uncles. I’m after some advice regarding the way my boyfriend is with me. I don’t want to put words into anybody’s mouth so I will just state the facts and give some examples of some recent, and some ongoing situations. Firstly t...
A. 15 August 2021: This sounds like a very stressfull situation. He probably cant cope with his back oain, theres nothing worse trying to live a normal life when you have pain. Hes going to absolutely burn himself into the ground with the hours he does. He coul be ... (read in full...)
Things were great, then suddenly she blocked me
Q. Hey all and first off, thanks for taking the time to review my situation. So this started a little under a month ago, me and this woman I met through the internet have been chatting 24/7 every day. Met up a couple times and hit it off. Things ...
A. 14 August 2021: Call her at work. You need an answer so that you can at least try to see if someone has been causing trouble for you. If she doesnt talk to you tgere then youd have to just let it go. There could be other reasons why shes blicked you, she may have ... (read in full...)
Scared my boyfriend will lose interest
Q. I am scared that my boyfriend (18M) is gonna get bored of me (16F) before telling abt my problem we do a long-distance relationship we call/ft pretty much everyday. my boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 months and we start school very soon we ...
A. 14 August 2021: You are both young. Just enjoy your conversations and see how it goes. At your age you will meet many different people. Ling distance relationships can work but they can be very difficult to maintain. Keep your options ooen, im sure he will do the ... (read in full...)
I can't forget about the foreplay. Is this normal?
Q. I have a question. Is it normal that I can't forget about the foreplay? Because honestly, he is my first boyfriend at my twenties and the first time someone kissed me on the LIPS!!!!!!! And I really liked it. Also, he is the first one who touched ...
A. 14 August 2021: If both parties are consensual then nothings innapropriate. Just enjoy what you have, im sure things can only get better.... (read in full...)
Is a 17 year age gap to much?
Q. Is a 17 year age gap too big? I’ve being dating a man who’s 17 year older than me. He’s got three kids to two different women. He’s never been married and I don’t know what went wrong with the two ex’s. It’s early days so I don’t want to ask too ...
A. 14 August 2021: You can only form a true relationship by asking questions. Its never too early in a relationship to get it all out in the open. Are you the babysitter conveniently or the lover? Age shouldnt come in to it at all.... (read in full...)
Why does he try to please others but not his own family?
Q. I am wondering if anybody can explain the reasons behind my husbands behaviour. We are a second marriage of nearly 4 years and in our late 60’s . We each have our own family but my husband spends a lot of time ‘trashing’ his family but running ...
A. 14 August 2021: Hes sounds like a people pleaser. Hiding behind a mask because he is trying to hide the person, himself, the side he doesnt like. It sounds like he has made a mess of his former life and is trying to eradicate it. You probably met him at a time ... (read in full...)
Relationships and incontinence
Q. Im doubley incontinence and have to wear nappies-diapers and plastic pants and have done so for a very long time. As i result ive had no relationship of any kind and get deeply depressed. Just wondering if anyone else went through the same problems...
A. 14 August 2021: What kind of relationship are you looking for? They say theres someone for eceryone. Maybe you should get to know someone first with similar interests instead of putting the health issues at the forefront.... (read in full...)
Does anyone know what the cost of living is in Nigeria.
Q. Hi I would love it if someone knew the costs or had a good idea of what the cost of living is in Nigeria. I have been conversing with someone in Nigeria he claims it costs about 1000.00 usd to live there per month. That sounds completely ridic...
A. 11 August 2021: It's a scam. Block everything and anything to do with him. Sorry for being so abrupt. Watch some YouTube view about scams.... (read in full...)
Why does no one in my life care or ask?
Q. It’s that time in my life again. A few things fell apart and I’ve had a few hurdles. Whenever times like this come I feel alone. But I always force myself to think it is all in my mind. Except when 2 weeks pass and you haven’t really had any contact ...
A. 10 August 2021: How many people can count on one hand the cllose friends they have. If you have one, you can count yourself lucky. Friendships are a two way thing and the more you put into it the more you will get back. you cant sit back waiting for things to ... (read in full...)
Does anyone know any good ways of handling the stress of grief?
Q. Hi lovely Cupid’s, I’m wanting some advice on some awful events that have happened in my family the past month. My grandad sadly passed away recently and he was the absolute backbone to our family. I have siblings and due to our parents alcohol ...
A. 10 August 2021: So sorry for your liss. You could ring your grandma on a regular badis, you could reminisce and ask how shes getting through each day. See what would help. You may feel better knowing how she is coping. I know many ladies who have list their ... (read in full...)
I feel I’m not good enough for my husband no matter what.
Q. I feel I’m not good enough for my husband no matter what. If we go the beach like we did tonight and a woman as s bikini or costume on he will look. She could be over weight even not much to look at but he will keep doing it. Tells me I’ve got it ...
A. 10 August 2021: Men do look at other women, that doesnt mean they want them, i just dont think they can help it. When my hubby is driving the car on occasion ive seen his head turn, i just say jokingly if shes blond ! Right thats it, im going blond!' On another ... (read in full...)
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