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My bf says he was drinking alone but then what was the deal with all those cups and glasses?

Tagged as: Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 August 2021) 5 Answers - (Newest, 15 July 2022)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I dropped in on my boyfriend of 2 years unexpectedly after a night he was drinking.

When I walked into the lounge he had two cups out and two small glasses but says he was drinking alone.

Wee have a good relationship and there isn't any other things that would make me wounder.

I found it a little odd though, he says all the glasses were his and he was drinking alone.

Guess could be true so I don't want to jump on and accuse him if he hasn't done anything wrong.

What would anyone else think or am I just being paranoid.

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A female reader, FriendlyGiantsGirl333 United States +, writes (15 July 2022):

My bf will literally get a new cup for every drink he makes if I don't watch him. Lol. He doesn't do dishes so,no matter for him. Unless your bf has given you reason to not trust him before I would not worry about it. I battle my paranoia constantly because of what other men have done to me in the past. Idk if that's your situation, but after being cheated on numerous times by my ex husband it messed with my head. I try every day to not make my bf pay for their sins.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2021):

My question is, so what if he had drinks with somebody else? Has he no friends, family, or neighbors? If he said yes, would he have broken some kind of rule, punishable by death by nagging???

You just so happened to drop-in unannounced and uninvited; and now you're suspicious of some extra cups or whatever on the table. This signifies what?

He said he drank alone. Can you prove otherwise? Maybe if you called ahead, he would have cleaned-up a bit. You were hoping to catch him at something; so you had to make the trip to spy on him worthwhile.

Considering it's his place, my first guess would have been that he doesn't put his used cups away. He just gets another, and leaves the others where they sit. I've seen sloppy housekeepers who live alone with coffee tables full of chip wrappers, beverage bottles, cups, glasses, and plates. They are guilty of nothing, but being lazy slobs. Which he has every right to be; while living under the roof he pays rent or a mortgage for. If he had someone over and doesn't wish to tell you who, so what? He doesn't have to account for every movement and moment of his time to you.

If you did catch him in a lie, are you going to breakup now? Prolly not!

Save your suspicions for more evidence. This one's inconclusive, and you're definitely overreacting. You're accusing someone of lying while having insufficient evidence. If he's telling you the truth, what does that make you?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (1 September 2021):

Honeypie agony auntThat does seem iffy. But... knowing that MANY men have horrible "housekeeping skills" (such as NOT putting the dirty glasses in the dishwasher or wash them) it IS quite possible that some of the glasses were from another day.

I would give him the benefit of the doubt IF he does not have PRIOR "suspect behavior".

I can have a couple of glasses and a mug on my desk from time to time - I go get water but forgot my glass so I grab another or ... one of the cats drank out of my glass lol so I get a clean one. They don't stay on my desk for long though as I don't like the clutter.

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A female reader, Tinacandida United Kingdom +, writes (1 September 2021):

Tinacandida agony auntWas there any other clues in the house that may suggest anyone being there previously? A couple of glasses out may also be that he doesnt like to wash them up straight away. If there was something he wanted to hide then i should think he woukd have got rid of the evidence.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (1 September 2021):

kenny agony auntHe has not given you any other reason for you to suspect he is up to no good so i agree you should not accuse him if he has done nothing wrong.

The extra cups could simply be from the previous day that he just has not taken out the the kitchen yet.

Unless you saw a wine glass with lipstick around the rim, i would not be concerned about this.

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