A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. I’m at a loss right now. And I need your help.I have been with my husband for 8 years. I was a single mom when we met. He has embraced my son and generally he has been good to me. The relationship is not perfect and it is rocky at times but we do get along well overall. Back in June I found a number on his contacts list that belonged to a company he did business with. I called it and it was not a company he did business with. It was a woman’s personal mobile number. Not only was it a female but it was a 13 year old girl! I called and asked how her number ended up on my 70 year old husband’s phone. She said she didn’t know him. I deleted the number from his phone.Fast forward to this month. My husband loaded a new email app on his phone and it automatically loaded his Google contacts to his email. I noticed that same girl’s phone number reappeared on his contacts list on his email. It must use his telephone contacts or Google contacts? But I deleted her number from his contacts back in June! How is it possible a deleted contact could just reappear? She was deleted. I called to see if it was the same girl and it was and she again said she has never heard of my husband, reiterating she was 13 years of age! I asked my husband how her deleted number ended up back on his contacts list and he said he has no idea. The man is in the tech industry for God’s sake! He was ready to throw me out of the house over it too! I was pretty upset as I should be and merely questioned him and asked him for answers. He was totally irritated by my crying and emotional state, which I feel was justified under the circumstances. He said there was nothing he could say or do to stop me from believing the worst. And he was prepared to end this relationship!!! Him? Not me? I was shocked. I saw what I saw and he told me he doesn’t know what happened? He even accused me of saving her number again so I can frame him for cheating which would give me a reason to leave him. I have never heard anything so ridiculous in my life. I feel lost and completely devastated right now. I’m in bed feeling worthless and gutted right now and he just rolled over and went to sleep? Sleeping soundly like a baby right now as I am here suffering? What would a 13 year old girl be doing on his phone in the first place? Under a business number? And how could her number show up again on my husband’s phone contacts when I deleted her number from his contacts THREE months ago? Any tech savvy people out there who could explain this? How could a deleted contact be saved again on a contacts list? Did my husband contact her or vice versa and saved her number again after I deleted it? Why would he do something like that? Why? I am not even so sure she was 13. She sounded young but I think she might have been older. Is something going on here? What would you do if you were in my shoes? Am I reading this wrong?PLEASE HELP ME! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2021): You might hire a private investigator who could track the number's GPS. You can determine if there is a minor associated with the number; and possibly find evidence to alleviate any false-allegations or unsubstantiated suspicions.
If he is grooming or having an affair with an underaged-aged child; this goes far beyond cheating on you. It's a crime. It may also be a daughter from a past affair that he has not told you about. In any case, he's hiding something.
A
female
reader, Tinacandida  +, writes (17 August 2021):
 As a former foster carer I can tell you that you wouldnt believe what goes on with online stuff on phones and apps. Theres just too much messaging and chatting and dating,social media sites out there and its just so easy to get peoples phone numbers etc. Yes it is strange that the number was deleted to suddenly appear again. Usually if a number is blocked that woukd be better than a delete for the person can just ring again and simply be 'added' to the contact list. You could make a note of the number and let one of your friends ring it and try to find out more about who it could be. Thats if you require that information. If it is indeed a minor that your husband is getting involved in then Im afraid you must protect this girl and get the child protection involved.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2021): Yer they can reappear back if you only deleted it from his phone contacts and not his Google contacts. You sound a little over the top tbh
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (17 August 2021):
 In the beginning of your post you seemed sure she was a 13 year old girl, but then at the end of your post you don't seem certain.
There is something not right about all of this, and you are right to feel the way you do.
I think that his reaction is that of a guilty person, someone who is doing something wrong and on the verge of being found out.
Once you delete a number it does not just appear back in your phone, and he knows that, he must have retrieved it again.
Not sure who this girl is, but it is certainly very worrying. Is it someone he is conversing online with pretending to be somone else and she has given her number to him?.
In his call history are there calls to this number?.
What about his internet history, could this reveal anything?.
He may have contacted her, but then why i wonder does she not know who he is?. Which makes me think he is pretending to be someone else.
You are right to feel the way you do, if he is doing something wrong it will unfold over time, things like this tend to not stay secret for very long. Just keep your eyes and ears open, and don't be afraid to divulge this to friends and family, don't feel like you are alone.
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