A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello,My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years now. He claims he loves me but I really don't know if his love for me is based on what I provide for him. He bought some land and now needs financial assistance with it. Of course he asked me, I'm like his go to person when he runs out of money. I love you so much as long as you give me money, seems to be to me anyways. He doesn't come out and say it, but I feel it. I told him no this time cause I'm tired of the favours I do, and he never pays back. He expects it. He called me arrogant and pompous, for finally saying no.im tired of this one sided relationship. I'm on here maybe to vent a little, and to warn good hearted ladies to not be taken advantage of. Thanks everyone.
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male
reader, kenny  +, writes (1 September 2021):
 You are his go to only when he wants financial assistance, when he does not get this his true colour's come out, and as you have seen his true colour's are not very nice.
I'm sorry to say that this is no different to the posts we get where someone hands over their well earned cash to a scammer, and it goes on and on.
Well done for stepping up to the plate and saying enough is enough.
In your heart of hearts yo already know what you should do now, and that is to leave him. Then i would seek some legal advice on obtaining the money back that you have lost.
A
female
reader, Alwin  +, writes (31 August 2021):
 He's using you for money, yes! Dump him if you're not happy with that. He's not going to change, people like that, entitled brats who think the world owes them something are no worth wasting your time with.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2021): Oh, BTW, I have another suggestion. You can also have the property quit-claimed over to you; or just wait for foreclosure and buy it quick-sale. Recoup your lost investment; before it's sold at auction.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2021): Typo correction:
"Now he's showing his true-colors; and the façade has [been] removed."
P.S.
I don't think you were trying to buy love, you fooled yourself into thinking you were being generous to the man you think you love. Seems lover-boy always has his hand out, and thinks you're pompous for not filling it. He needs to be kicked to the curb. I have a catapult you can borrow; if you need more altitude and distance. Get the lien placed on the property first.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2021): You may have overlooked a few warnings for the sake of love; but you seem to be a lady with smarts, and who has her act together.
We don't always see it coming, my dear; but the truth tends to out itself. Know what I mean?
The good thing is, you're not in denial; and you have the fortitude and assertiveness to finally say no. Now he's showing his true-colors; and the façade has be removed.
Venting is fine; but you have to make a decision about the fate of this relationship. Your relationship is transactional and businesslike; rather than a romantic-partnership. He takes, but doesn't give.
If you have proof you provided him funds to purchase the land, or paid the taxes; you can always put a lien on the property. He may not pay you back now, but he'll have to settle the lien before he can sell it.
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A
female
reader, Tinacandida +, writes (31 August 2021):
 There you go, youve given him money in the past and he hasnt paid you back. So now you know not to trust tgat he will pay the next amount back. Its not you thats got this project going on its him and he shoukdnt be relying on you to pay for it. Tell him to keep you out of it and go and ask the bank to lend him some.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2021): There is a simple way to see if what you think is true.Stop providing for him altogether, not just for once.No more loans,no more cash gifts, nothing.If he is only with you for the money, he will get tired pretty soon of this new lean regime and will break up with you.Freeing you ,in doing so, from exploitation,deception and financial abuse;so,not really a loss for you.Venting is ok for a while, but at some point you must act !
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 August 2021):
 Seriously? Be demanded money and when he got a no, he called you arrogant and pompous?
He IS using you. The reason he could BUY that piece of land was that he thought HE could get YOU to fund it, partly.
He has NEVER paid back a dime? That should tell you that he IS just using you and feels entitled to YOUR income. He isn't your husband. You don't owe him a penny!
I think you already know this but GET OUT of this relationship. You are dating a piece of crap.
You can do so much better! I have no doubt.
If you sat down and added up ALL the money you "helped him with" over these 2 years, how much would it be? think about it. WHAT could YOU have had in savings if it wasn't for him?
You can't buy love, OP
Learn from this and keep money out of relationships.
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