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... Send *aylorChu a private message | | | *aylorChu's profile:Im an all American girl with a passion for languages and people. I desire to see people do right and to live right instead of in constant drama or emotional hurts from people who should be loving to them. I am open, honest and will not bite my tongue when giving you advice. "Better to hear truth than candy coated lies".
I was a military brat and have been to 11 countries. I speak a couple of languages and my number one thrill is international travel. I plan to go to Antarctica, Iceland, South Africa, Japan and to India in the next 5 years.
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He tells me nothing about finances in the event of a split and I've come to know that he's hidden assets in parents names should a split occur. I feel really stuck.
Q. My husband and I have been married 15 years. He's told me he's going to live with his extended family of 15+ members till his dying days despite me wanting my own independance and space. We are of indian background. We have 3 children who are ...
A. 13 March 2008: It can be really difficult when a spouse controls the finances and does not let the other know what is going on. I am sure that becoming a single parent or even divorce is a scary thing. My best advice to you is to start learning about finances on ... (read in full...)
My teacher is always staring at me....is he a pervert??
Q. There's a teacher at my school who won't stop staring at me! And no, I don't have a crush on him at all! But he is just so freaky. Today he came over and stood right next to me in assembly just staring at me and then I was on my way to the maths ...
A. 13 March 2008: I'd call him out on it personally. "Why do you keep staring at me. It makes me uncomfortable and other people see you staring at me." I would say this but I have no idea how he would respond/react to that. I would tell a guidance counselor that a ... (read in full...)
I have trouble making new friends because I'm shy. Please help
Q. Hey! Im in a new school and im finding it very hard to open up. Everyone always tells me im so quiet or shy. Id rlly like to open up, but i cant. I try to build up my confidence, or picture myself talking with ease, but that never seems to work. ...
A. 13 March 2008: You are giving too much power to other people. You are a quiet person, make it work for you. Quiet people usually are excellent observers. You just be you and you see how others can't deal with silence. They will talk on and on trying to filter out ... (read in full...)
Is this too much? I don't think it's right to go to a place like that without your significant other.
Q. my boyfriend is going on a two week bike trip in the summer... which is a long time.. their last destination is to spend one or two days at a bike rally.. I don't feel completely comfortable with a boyfriend being in that type of environment where ...
A. 13 March 2008: The issue at hand is trust. Are you not trusting him in how he can handle himself around adults or are you not trusting the supposed women that might try to flirt with him? You need to trust your man. You also must realize that because two people ... (read in full...)
He cheated on me 3 times and I can't get over it...
Q. My boyfriend cheated on me three times. Twice in the first month, and then the third time was in the third month. We've talked about it all and it's been 8 months, and I still feel bad. He's a lovely boyfriend and I know he hasn't done it since, ...
A. 21 February 2008: Nope~ THREE TIMES? This guy is not worth it and has not shown respect to you and the relationship you are in. Get out of that. Find a MATURE man who doesnt want to do any harm to you mentally, physically or spiritually. A person who cheats feels ... (read in full...)
I am in so much confusion thinking my husband maybe bi or gay.
Q. I have been married for 10 years and recently learned that my husband has been viewing porn on the internet, what makes matters worse is it mostly involves other men not women. He told me it's normal for this to happen when I confronted him about it ...
A. 21 February 2008: It sounds as if he wants to be left alone about it when you want to discuss it and the threatening in leaving you sounds like he is ready to make a break from the marriage and try his hand at a bi/gay relationship. I really dont know what to tell ... (read in full...)
Why does my daughter accept his behaviour?
Q. I have a 17 year old daughter who has an very controlling, jealous boyfriend. He left for college and is still controlling her. He tells her where she can work, go, who she can hang out with and even what she can/can't wear sometimes. No one in ...
A. 18 October 2007: Im going to be very upfront right now and then I will be nice. Okay? Why are you putting up with this behavior from this BOY? This is your daughter. You pay for her food, insurance and etc, right? You have the final say in her life not someone ... (read in full...)
Something's wrong with me cuz I dumped a loser?
Q. What do you guys think of a 29 year old guy thta lives with his mom and dad, doesn't lift a finger to help his mom around the house who works midnights in a nursing home and is in her 60's, does not work and has not worked in 1.5 years, says ...
A. 18 October 2007: He is just saying that because you refuse to be the rug that he wants to walk on. He has major issues with responsibility, respect for parents, women and etc. Don't you worry about his pithy comments. He knows what he has said to you is exactly what ... (read in full...)
How can I make myself more attractive on the outside?
Q. im tired of being average looking and want to know what i can do to kind of make the most of myself. i know im not UGLY but im far from stunning either. in fact to get a true honest opinion, i registered with hotornot.com where people rate pictures ...
A. 12 September 2007: Don't rely on hotornot to tell you if you are beautiful or not. That site is just there to make money off of people. Everyone wants to be attractive. You have to discover what works for you and use it. I suggest experimenting with your hair and make ... (read in full...)
We have one child and another on the way but he keeps cheating!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for almost 2yrs. We have a 10 month old daughter and im pregnant again. Every since we been going out i have always had a problem with him and other females. He always hides his phone from me and puts it on ...
A. 12 September 2007: Ditch him. Find family and friends to help you with your children until you can support yourself. You dont want a man like that around you or your kids. He won't be a good father at all to them if he isnt being faithful to you. He is, indeed, being ... (read in full...)
She rejected me but still calls and txt. How do I get over her? I'm really confused.
Q. Am i pathetic for being hung up on the same girl? She has rejected me about a week ago, but i cant seem to get over her! She is constant texting me or calling me. She wont leave me alone to deal with my rejection. we are good friends, but i like to ...
A. 12 September 2007: Tell her: I need time to myself to sort out the rejection. Please don't contact me for two week. And NO you dont go to the dance with her. She is your friend she should and needs to understand that you need to clear these feelings before continuin... (read in full...)
I have a high sex drive but only get turned on by thoughts of sex with other women, not my wife. Help!
Q. I have a lovely family and I love them very much. However, I don't get turn on by my wife. We made love only once a while and I know this is not pleasing her. The worse is, I have a high sex drive and I always think of having sex with other women. ...
A. 12 September 2007: You allow your mind to wonder about other women. This is your issue. You have to stay faithful in your mind and in your relationship. If you look at any porn or have magazines like that TRASH THEM IMMEDIATELY. You are robbing your wife of the sex ... (read in full...)
Where can I find a Counselor?
Q. Okay I have come to realise that I have some SERIOUS emotional issues and I think I need counseling. Actually I know I do, I won't lie... I'm borderline crazy. Well I definitely have a lot of emotional and psychological problems anyway. I ...
A. 6 September 2007: I'd start with going to a church that has counselors to help people with life crisis or concerns or find a specific group that meets each month where you can express your concerns--like a help group. From there they can direct you to people you can ... (read in full...)
How can I get him to treat our kids with respect?
Q. I am a mother of 3 children ages(2,4 and 7) and am going on our 4th one. My common-law and I's reltionship has been for 11 years but we have been staying with eachother for 8 years now. I am settled with what I have. He has been a great husband to ...
A. 6 September 2007: The situation you are in seems like it can get ugly REAL quick. You are doing your best and your husband feels that just because he provides financially he has no other obligations relationally. But he does have obligations to love his kids. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lost his rag with me and now wont speak to me or contact me. What should I do?
Q. Ok, I am 50 and my b/f is 55. We have been dating for 5 months. We have a great relationship. He tells me he loves me and shows it to me in many ways. He will do anything for me. He has a son (24) with some medical concerns who lives out of state. ...
A. 6 September 2007: Sorry luv, it is easy for people to do things but when you see crap like that come out of a person it is SO NOT WORTH IT to stick with them. Find a better man. You dont want to be trapped in any of his anger cycles like that. It's nuts and you ... (read in full...)
I find it hard to cope with surprise meetings with my ex.
Q. My ex and I were together for seven years, but we split up three years ago. She said she had stopped listening to me and never really talked to me about the relationship again. This would be fine except for the fact that we share the same friends ...
A. 6 September 2007: For me I was with a guy I loved but it didn't work out and so seeing him out or with other women would level me. It does take a toll emotionally. You might have to strategically coordinate what you do with friends. Perhaps you can be the one to ... (read in full...)
My ex said I didnt give him enough sex. How do I deal with this in future relationships?
Q. My ex-boyfriend and I were together for over three years and had an amazing sex life. We had sex atleast once a day if not more, but when he would get drunk and wanted to have sex he would be so ruff and demanding which was a complete turn off. ...
A. 5 September 2007: No man can demand sex from because it is your body. You dont live to satisfy the sexual needs for men unless it is your husband. Each man has a level of sexual need and that ranges from every day to every three days. As a wife you'll have to work ... (read in full...)
I never really enjoy oral sex...how do I approach my partner??
Q. I've just started dating a really nice guy and our relationship is progressing to a more intimate stage. My problem is oral sex. I've suffered with various ailments around that part of my body since I had my son 14 years ago and I've never really ...
A. 5 September 2007: I understand what you mean because I think along the same lines. I dont like the idea of a mouth down there when I know that my body has a cycle month to month. If you do not like it then you tell him so. Do tell him way BEFORE you two are about to ... (read in full...)
I find it hard to cope with surprise meetings with my ex.
Q. My ex and I were together for seven years, but we split up three years ago. She said she had stopped listening to me and never really talked to me about the relationship again. This would be fine except for the fact that we share the same friends ...
A. 5 September 2007: That is a tough issue to deal with. You are going to have to be strong and not let her presence throw you off. Are you living in a big city? Try branching out and making new friends. Get grounded in a new hobby and pour yourself into that. Go out ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lost his rag with me and now wont speak to me or contact me. What should I do?
Q. Ok, I am 50 and my b/f is 55. We have been dating for 5 months. We have a great relationship. He tells me he loves me and shows it to me in many ways. He will do anything for me. He has a son (24) with some medical concerns who lives out of state. ...
A. 5 September 2007: No no no and No. I respect you as an older woman than I but even I know that you are in a DANGEROUS relationship that has too many people who spaz out. Personally I would have ripped into him stating that since I had not heard from him in a few days ... (read in full...)
Will he ever marry me?
Q. Dear Cupid: My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. We have talked about marriage and he has said that since he has been married before that he will not get married again or he will, it will just be in 10 to 15 years. He was ma...
A. 5 September 2007: Umm living together is NOT a preliminary to getting married. That's garbage. That is a co-out people do to see if they can actually live with someone. If it fails then they say "it didnt work. we werent meant to be married," INSTEAD of sticking ... (read in full...)
My mum wont let me stay over at my boyfriends house. Should iI keep trying to convince her?
Q. I'm 19 years old, and have been with my boyfriend for one year and 3 months. We are very much in love, and can see our futures together. He gets on really really well with all my family, my parents completely adore him!! Only problem is my mum ...
A. 5 September 2007: Are you your own adult or is your family still paying for all your food, health insurance and other things like that? Also, girls get pregnant. Boys don't. Your mom may come from the school of thinking that if you stay in the house together then you ... (read in full...)
I have had a miscarriage and don't know how to tell my partner?
Q. I found out thursday that I was 6weeks pregnant with his child. He really wants to be a dad so I had great pleasure in telling him on Saturday when I saw him on his own (finally!)The new problem is, is that I miss carried yesterday, and I'm so ...
A. 5 September 2007: Look, you did not physically cause yourself to miss carry the child. You did not cause this to happen and you cant not be blamed of feel you let him down. TELL HIM what has happened. Tell him before he starts buying things, telling everyone and etc. ... (read in full...)
Everyone around me seems to be getting engaged but my guy doesn't seem to want to! Any guys advice would be a bonus!
Q. I'm 30. My partner and I have been together for nearly 4 years and while I love him dearly, I'm getting really frustrated that everyone around me seems to be getting engaged, married and/or having kids whereas I'm still 'single' (we don't even ...
A. 5 September 2007: I am in a similar boat as you however I dont even have a boyfriend or any male friends who could be potential bf. It is very difficult to see that people close to you are getting married and having kids. Every year it is a new kid or another wedding ... (read in full...)
My wife is masturbating more these days. Why?
Q. I noticed that my wife is masturbating a lot as of late. She does it in the shower and puts the shower head on high and holds it near herself. I walked in on her once and we talked about what I saw. At that time we were not having sex much. 2 ...
A. 5 September 2007: 1) Either she not being completely satisfied by you during your intimate times 2) She is no longer interested in having sex with you and can please herself they ways she wants 3) there are a multitude of reasons to be stated I can understand... (read in full...)
What do you guys think about a 17 year old with a man in his 40s?
Q. What do you guys think about a 17 year old with a man in his 40s? Yes, he is married with kids. Miserably so, but so. I do realize he has other priorities, and do not expect anything from him. Although I do feel that way, the flirting and teasing ...
A. 30 August 2007: Honey EVERYONE is giving you an objective answer however, you are going after what you want to hear.
You are loving a MARRIED man. He will never belong to you and you shouldnt be thinking of him in that way. By opening up your feelings to him thin... (read in full...)
We slept together and I like him, now. He's a lot older..can anything come of this?
Q. ok, i slept with a guy i really should not have, never thought anything of him before, but now i think i like him. nothing can come of it, but i dont know if i should talk to him about our encounter. He is alot older than me, and can be quite ...
A. 30 August 2007: Do you like him because of the sex and the close intimate time you shared? You say you shouldnt have slept with him then that tells me you should not evenbe liking him. You gave him sex now without any relationship. i dont think he'll be bothered ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend has bipolar and now wants nothing to do with us. what do I do?
Q. my girlfriend and i recently seperated after 2 half yrs.she suffers with bipolar.we laughed and talked for hours.her reasons for splitting are that i'm to blame for a bipolar incident that happened when we were on holiday in scotland.i can't ...
A. 30 August 2007: For one thing, you can not be responsible for something someone chooses to do. Whatever caused her to be upset that is on her. Dont you take that and internalize it. Also, stop hurting. You understand that she has mental issues with the bipolarism. ... (read in full...)
How can the man I love truely of done this to me?
Q. Am so down and hurting. How can the man I have love truely do this to me. And for my stupidity and low self esteem, I couldn't break up with him. It hurts my somuch. I have tried to forgive him but I always remember and that is . I remember going...
A. 30 August 2007: He does not love you as much as you love him. He is trashing your love and you are letting him do it. Leave that foul man now. Because if he truly loved you like you love him he would NEVER be having sex or staying with other women. NEVER! It hurts ... (read in full...)
I just want to know if I was wrong to ask my BF to leave for about and hour while she was there, or was he just being an inconsiderate jerk?
Q. My boyfriend and I moved in together after being together for 10 months. I have yet to tell my mom. But it is not just me and him, one of my friends is there as well as my guys bro and his friend. The thing is, my mom thinks that I live with 4 ...
A. 30 August 2007: I can see both sides of the issue. You asked you bf to leave his home. You wanted the place to be at peace while you told your mum the situation. I dont think there is a good or bad thing that happened here. Since it already happened dont worry ... (read in full...)
How do i tell her that i have snuck out of the house to go to jazz concerts and play in a few jazz concerts?
Q. This really isnt a life or death question but ive been playing the trumpet for 5 years now and ive been told that i am really good at it. However my passion is jazz and my mom wont let me join a jazz band only a classical band. She actually becomes ...
A. 30 August 2007: Tell your mom that God has given you a gift and passion for Jazz and not even she can stop you from going after what is in your heart. Don't tell her about sneaking out. You already did it and dont need to bring it up. Do show her the benefits of ... (read in full...)
I like 2 lads but don't think im pretty enough for them. what should i do?
Q. hii, well i like 2 guys that are sort of friends.. but i dont think either of them like me because im not very pretty and im sort ..fat. im quite shy too but i want a boyfriend and the are really god boys! what should i do/? thnx for your time...
A. 30 August 2007: If you dont think you are pretty then don't bother trying. You have to believe in yourself REGARDLESS of how you look physically. Think of yourself as attractive. Fix your hair how YOU like it not what you think will make men like you. If you do ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's family party has got me worried. how should i act?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and abit, and recently i have become close with his family! i am 16, his sister 20 has invited me to her 21st birthday I am scared because her friends will be there, who are quite different and be...
A. 30 August 2007: Why are you giving all your power away to adults you dont know? Be you and enjoy your time there. Being shy or scared will instantly be picked up by everyone there. You go to the party wearing you favorite causal clothing and take cues from your ... (read in full...)
We fell asleep together; the other competitors from the sporting club told me it's wrong, I could never have taken advantage over it though and it worries me...
Q. I'm 17 and theres this girl who's 15. We've known each other for years now and have always been really close. We went away with a sporting club a little while ago, and on the last night there, all crowded into one room. Her being much youn...
A. 30 August 2007: You know that you had no mal intentions. So whatever others think, they are wrong. You keep going just as you and your friend have been doing. If adults start questioning you, you tell them exactly as you have told us. They may caution you not to be ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend ended the relation as I went to a festival unaccompanied by her, now she regrets it!
Q. Hi, I have a problem with my Girlfriend of 4 years. I'm 21 now and we've been together for 4 years... We've had arguments before, but who hasn't... Our relationship was stressed by me going to university but we have managed to get throug...
A. 30 August 2007: Dont let the four years of time keep you tethered to a person. She quite easily went right after another guy even before you two were broken up a solid week. I'd really scrutinize her behavior then decide what to do. So what you went somewhere ... (read in full...)
I want to move in together and he doesn't. how do we get around this problem?
Q. I want to move in together and he doesn't. My boyfriend and i have been together for about a year and 7 months. This is my first serious relationship. We both live in the same city but in different apartments. I spend about 3 quarters of my time at ...
A. 30 August 2007: Maybe he doesnt want to wake up next to you every morning and know that you are not his wife. If he doesnt want to have you move in then you will have to deal with that. Don't try to make him see how beneficial it will be. It seems more that you ... (read in full...)
I know online dating isnt the same as the real thing, but I do like this guy!
Q. I've been talking to this guy on MSN for about a year. He's a friend of my cousin. We live about a 3-hour drive from eachother. I have known him for more than a year and things have got serious to the point that he says he loves me and I admit that ...
A. 18 August 2007: I think instead of using MSN to speak to each other you should call each other. It is VERY easy to supplement emotions from your side into IM chats and feel that both of you are on the same page. When you talk on the phone you get the emotional ... (read in full...)
Should I marry my fiance even although I am not in love with him?
Q. Hi, I have been dating my fiance for 1 year and we have just got engaged. He is a very kind, caring and thoughtful guy and would do almost anything for me. I have never been out with anyone who has so wanted to take care of me and thinks of me...
A. 16 August 2007: You are not obligated to marry ANYONE you dont love. You go where you have peace. Not marrying seems more the direction you are pulling him to. Better to say no to the marriage now than to be married and stuck with someone you wouldnt truly give ... (read in full...)
Should I give my boyfriend oral and if I do, what are the health risks?
Q. Should I give my boyfriend oral and if I do, what are the health risks? The other week my boyfriend gave me oral and I think that it's only fair that I give him oral back but I don't know how to get into the mood and I want to know if there ar...
A. 16 August 2007: Don't do it. If there is already health concerns running through your mind then dont do it. Problem solved. If he wants oral let the other girls lined up give it to him. Don't put yourself in a position to get sick/diseased because you think its ... (read in full...)
My wife and I don't get along - would it be wrong to have sex with my ex?
Q. My wife cheated on me several times. We started to divorce but then we decided to give it another try. I must admit I hold onto a lot of resentment for all the lies and deciet along with her excuse that it was my fault she cheated. Things were good ...
A. 16 August 2007: You are married. You do not have sex outside of marriage for anything. AND YES I did read about all the cheating before and that you two are in repair mode even though there are attitudes in the mix. Married is still married. By you going out and ... (read in full...)
What do you guys think about a 17 year old with a man in his 40s?
Q. What do you guys think about a 17 year old with a man in his 40s? Yes, he is married with kids. Miserably so, but so. I do realize he has other priorities, and do not expect anything from him. Although I do feel that way, the flirting and teasing ...
A. 16 August 2007: I'll answer again and say this: IF you are going to be friends with this man AND you say you respect and honor his wife, WILL you, as the man's and his wife's friend, tell the wife about the affair? I mean really, friends are truthful with each ... (read in full...)
What do you guys think about a 17 year old with a man in his 40s?
Q. What do you guys think about a 17 year old with a man in his 40s? Yes, he is married with kids. Miserably so, but so. I do realize he has other priorities, and do not expect anything from him. Although I do feel that way, the flirting and teasing ...
A. 25 July 2007: Look, he is married and has kids. Leave him alone. His kids may even be around your age and THEY WONT tolerate their father being with someone that age or at your maturity.
If you are not religious then what are your morals and standards based on... (read in full...)
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