A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My wife cheated on me several times. We started to divorce but then we decided to give it another try. I must admit I hold onto a lot of resentment for all the lies and deciet along with her excuse that it was my fault she cheated. Things were good for a while, but she seems to be angry at me all the time for no good reason. I am at the point I don't care about this marriage. She is very mean and spiteful and gets mad at the drop of a hat. She has no interest in sex, at least not with me and turns down any requests. I don't feel she is cheating again yet, but I have so little trust in her that it will not surprise me if she is now or plans to later. I have an opportunity to have sex with a former girlfriend. I want to in the worst way. Being that my wife will not have sex with me for whatever her real reason is, would I be wrong to see my ex for some friendly sex? She is not married and not wanting a relationship other then to have sex with a friend.
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cheated on me, divorce, her ex, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007): Yes. Leave your wife. If my wife cheated on me more even once i would be out the door like a scalded cat.
Have sex with your ex. My advice is this:
Life is too short to be miserable. Life can be an amazing journey or a miserable one and the choices are yours but remember this - You only go around once! After that you are no more.
An old man once said this to me and I have never forgotten it 'The worst thing in life is regret'. Don't regret poor decisions.
Good luck my friend I hope things work out for you.
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (16 August 2007):
You know how much it hurt you, when your wife cheated on you, so why put another HUMAN BEING through this on purpose? I know you obviously have alot of anger towards her for doing that to you, and perhaps part of you doesnt understand why its ok for her to do it, and perhaps you think if you cheat, it should be easily excused.
But it shoudlnt be. Treat others how you want to be treated. Its as simple as that. Dont you want a relationship where you can hold your head high, knowing that you treated your partner with the most amount of respect that you could? Despite how she treats you...if you are unhappy with what shes done (and thats obvious you are...anyone would be) then leave the relationship. You obviously feel that she hasnt treated you right (and she hasnt), so you feel that you have no reason to treat her right back.
Have you tried talking to her abotu why she isnt interested in sex? have you asked her why she seems so angry lately? if not, then I suggest you have a calm talk to her about her behaviour lately and allow her for time to talk about yours as well.
Anyway, personaly I wouldnt cheat if I was in your position. I know the temptation would be there, but what about the guilt you will suffer from afterwards? im sure your wife did, despite her doing it so many times again. thats hard to live with too. I would want to be in a relationship and know that I gave it my best shot ever...and then if things still cant work then its obvious that you two just werent meant to be.
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A
male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (16 August 2007):
 Can you spell D-I-V-O-R-C-E? It's time.
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A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (16 August 2007):
Yeah, end this now. You know what is right, you just hope that this will hurt her and feel like "outspiting" her.
Finalize the divorce ASAP! There is nothing left for you in this marriage. She cheated three times and that is three too many.
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A
female
reader, TaylorChu +, writes (16 August 2007):
 You are married. You do not have sex outside of marriage for anything. AND YES I did read about all the cheating before and that you two are in repair mode even though there are attitudes in the mix. Married is still married. By you going out and getting your rocks off is just further tearinhg apart your marriage and injecting MORE drama into your life. Just cuz you think causal sex will help you out now you have no clue if the other woman will get clingy. Sounds like you want your needs met and you are willing to go outside your marriage. In doing that you keep the nasty, vicious cycle of adultery in motion.
Seek marital counseling and you and your wife sit down and talk it out. No candy coated answers. You ask her what she wants. You state what you want and you two work it out. This damaging of each other by opening yourselves up to outside sex and body fluids is truly gross and wont solve anything.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): I personally don't think two wrongs make a right. I have never been married but I was in a similar situation. And I was faithful and my bf never wanted to have sex. But would look at porn. I put up with it for a while. But one time I cheated on him just out of spite and loneliness. And I felt great about it. And we broke up. And I am still glad I cheated on him. I did it for myself, though. I had something to prove to myself.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (15 August 2007):
 It seems to me that your marriage is very much dead and the decent thing would be to give it the burial it deserves. You should get a divorce right away.
Are you sure you don't want to sleep with this friend just to get even with your wife? Friendly Sexy may not be looking for anything other than friendly sex, but she still deserves some respect. Give her friendly sex too, not revenge. Once you're divorced, you can take her offer. Not only is it the decen thing to do, it is also the least complicated option.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (15 August 2007):
 Number one, you two should consider counseling to solve what's ailing your marriage. Number two, you should NOT have sex with another person while you are married, even though your wife clearly has violated this already. I believe she is treating you this way because she feels trapped. A cheating spouse is usually a sign of a bigger problem. Only counseling will be able to uncover what's really going on, and perhaps bring about some healing. If that fails, or if she refuses to go, then I would file for divorce. Then you are both free to have sex with whom you wish.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (15 August 2007):
 Like Eyeswideopen says you should do the right thing and get a divorce before you do anything with this ex. Ok so your wife cheated on you several times and that is not easy for anyone to take on board.
But two wrongs do not make a right, don't bring yourself down to her level, otherwise you are just as bad as she is. Get that divorce, than you can have sex with anyone you like with a clear concience.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Nevalearn +, writes (15 August 2007):
Trust me, if you do, you will start to accept the way your wife is treating you because in a way you as bad as her for cheating. You do not want to be yet another married person committing adultry. Your marriage doesn't sound like much fun to me. Sounds like its time to move on, seperate and then have a great time without having to feel guilty about it. You sound like you did your fair share to keep the marriage together. Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, strawberries +, writes (15 August 2007):
Trust and communication are the two most important elements in a relationship and it appears you have neither with your wife. If you can't address these issues, quickly! then I would have to say that a divorce is inevitable.As for cheating, In my opinion you should wait until you have actually decided that your marriage is over before cheating on your wife. Once you cheat your as much as saying it is anyway.If you decide once again that your marriage deserves a chance you need to sit her down and tell her exactly how you feel, and find out how she feels.I hope this helps
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 August 2007):
 Why don't you do the right thing and divorce your wife before you take the other woman up on her offer. Your marriage sounds pretty crappy anyway and you certainly don't want to lower yourself to being just another cheater.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (15 August 2007):
 Hi
And you 2 are still together & giving it another 'try' why?
It doesnt even sound like you like each other let alone love.
Your scoring points & trying to out cheat each other.
She has cheated left right n centre, she doesnt like you, you dont like her, you want to sleep with your ex.
The sleeping with your ex isnt really an issue. Its why you both stay together i am wondering?
I would bite the bullet & seperate to be honest. Then worry about the ex after.
But i accept, thats easy for me to say!
Good luck.
C xxxxxx
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