A
female
age
51-59,
*asz
writes:My husband and I have been married 15 years. He's told me he's going to live with his extended family of 15+ members till his dying days despite me wanting my own independance and space. We are of indian background. We have 3 children who are picking up the vibes despite the two of us not openly arguing. I'm desperately unhappy and at my lowest ebb. I want to leave but fear not being able to cope as a single parent and not being able to give the children the financial benefits that an extended family can afford. He tells me nothing about finances in the event of a split and I've come to know that he's hidden assets in parents names should a split occur. I feel really stuck.Does anybody have any advice that can help me make a choice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TaylorChu  +, writes (13 March 2008):
 It can be really difficult when a spouse controls the finances and does not let the other know what is going on. I am sure that becoming a single parent or even divorce is a scary thing. My best advice to you is to start learning about finances on your own. Buy books, definitely use the internet and start reading about budgeting, saving, setting up personal accounts at banks and (my favorite) using your hobby to generate cash for you. If you have a skill like knitting or cooking use it to your advantage. Set up a booth and sell your wares, offer to cook meals for a price, paint and sell your work. Sell what you make and put that money into your very own account. You do what is best for your children but do not remain ignorant about finances. I am not saying that as a slam I am encouraging you to seek out information to empower yourself.
Do you know who Suze Orman is? She is a powerful woman who teaches millions about finances. I would recommend doing internet searches on her and reading her tips on how to make your financial life sound. You can even call into her show or email her with your situation to get sound financial advice.
I wish I had more sound information to give you. I wish the best for you and do urge you to start learning all you can about supporting yourself and putting money away if or when a divorce occurs. In my opinion it is just plain selfish for your husband to keep money from you and your family and for him to want to be with his extended family instead of taking care of his own nuclear family. Just arm yourself with knowledge and never give up on taking control of finances YOU can create.
http://www.suzeorman.com/
http://financialplan.about.com/od/budgeting/l/blfinancial.htm
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