A
male
age
41-50,
*Aeng
writes:I noticed that my wife is masturbating a lot as of late. She does it in the shower and puts the shower head on high and holds it near herself. I walked in on her once and we talked about what I saw. At that time we were not having sex much. 2 times a week at the most so it upset me that she would be doing this. I know she orgasms when we make love so its not that I am lame in the sack. We are now having sex 2 times a week but the last few I knew she had already done that in the shower (Its easy to hear the change in water pressure) The other night I was woken up by moaning and could tell she was masturbating in the bed. We had just had sex about 2 hours before this. I rolled over and put my hand on her and she moved her hand and then woke up and went to the bathroom. I am not going to say that I don’t do it but I try to hide it. Is this normal activity? I know she get embarrassed easy but I would like to talk to her about it. I mean I would gladly help her even without sex or anything in return. I asked her about the moaning and she said I must have been dreaming. I dont think so.
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female
reader, AylaJ +, writes (6 September 2007):
I've done the sleep masturbating thing by accident as well as my boyfriend. Actually, haha he woke me up during this sleep masturbating because the bed was shaking. This stuff is hilarious. But I understand you want to be a part of her sexual experience and you feel left out as well as her feeling shy to include you. When she is doing it in the shower just hop in and rub her back while she does it.
Ease your way into being a sexual part of the situation. Tell her you thought about it and decided it was a great thing and politely ask if you could watch one day because you think she would look sexy. If she does it next to you in bed kis her neck play with her nipples. Help her out but make sure you smile when you see it not become frightened lol.
This is just a new way for you two to be intimate. It's brandnew fun, not a brand new problem. You should be excited not worried ;) Sex can't happen all the time. I have an awsome sex life with my boyfriend and some months we're too tired to do it even 2 times a month. But when someone wants to masturbate we totally support it and keep our sexual life going. goodluck!
A
female
reader, AylaJ +, writes (6 September 2007):
I've done the sleep masturbating thing by accident as well as my boyfriend. Actually, haha he woke me up during this sleep masturbating because the bed was shaking. This stuff is hilarious. But I understand you want to be a part of her sexual experience and you feel left out as well as her feeling shy to include you. When she is doing it in the shower just hop in and rub her back while she does it.
Ease your way into being a sexual part of the situation. Tell her you thought about it and decided it was a great thing and politely ask if you could watch one day because you think she would look sexy. If she does it next to you in bed kis her neck play with her nipples. Help her out but make sure you smile when you see it not become frightened lol.
This is just a new way for you two to be intimate. It's brandnew fun, not a brand new problem. You should be excited not worried ;) Sex can't happen all the time. I have an awsome sex life with my boyfriend and some months we're too tired to do it even 2 times a month. But when someone wants to masturbate we totally support it and keep our sexual life going. goodluck!
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A
male
reader, PAeng +, writes (6 September 2007):
PAeng is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk so I have been thinking about this. I think she was sleeping and maturbating because the time I caught her in the shower she tried to play it off as something else. She didnt really try to play it off this time. I guess as long as we are having regular sex, what should I complain about.
I am going to talk to her about it. Just going to say, If you want to masturbate, why not let me do it for you. I have no problem going down on her, getting her off, and going to bed getting nothing in return. Ive done that before and she liked it. This way if she wants it to go farther that she can let it happen.
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A
male
reader, PAeng +, writes (5 September 2007):
PAeng is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe sex we have is great, thats what she says anyway. She actually thinks I want it too much. So I dont think its that. I am thinking that she is getting caught up in fantasies. other then that I dont know.
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A
female
reader, TaylorChu +, writes (5 September 2007):
 1) Either she not being completely satisfied by you during your intimate times2) She is no longer interested in having sex with you and can please herself they ways she wants3) there are a multitude of reasons to be statedI can understand that it is a slap in the face to know that she is pleasuring herself and it is without you. It would make many spouses feel that there is something wrong. Honestly, if she can't even allow you to enjoy watching her do that to herself to just even include you in it then she is hiding something and wont say it. Confront her on it. Just as you explained here to us how you'd be willing to help her and etc say those same things to her. Also ask her if she is feeling that she needs sex a lot more. Maybe she is hitting a sexual peak and needs that sexual release more often. She may not want to bother you in asking for sex so often because of this. In any case talk to her and ask for the plain, honest truth. You dont want her to be fantasizing about other men or women or to seek sexual relations with anyone else if she is unhappy. Give her an ultimatum about telling you the truth. Being that you are married she should have no secrets from you or keep her thoughts away from you. Already this is affecting your sex life and your marriage. Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007): Obviously you are not giving her enough sex- and not satisfying her!
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (5 September 2007):
She has reasons for what she is doing. Start thinking, you probably already know what they are. If not spend more time talking to her and if that fails get counseling. Otherwise you will lose her in the long run.
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A
male
reader, PAeng +, writes (5 September 2007):
PAeng is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe 2 times a week should have been 2 a month in the part when I talk about not doing it much
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