A
female
age
30-35,
*auren90
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 6 months and things are starting to fall apart. I am moving to a neighboring state in a few weeks and we have just been having little arguments ever since i told him. Arguments about little pointless things that we never used to argue about. We dont know if we are going to make it work, but we still love each other. But now we are we on the verge of breaking up, I have no idea how to go about this in a nice way. My head is telling me one thing and my heart another. Would it be healthier to completely separate? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2011): Even though you love him or think you do at the moment, as you are very young - if a relationship is struggling it is not worth saving. Live a bit more, you will meet someone in time where all the pieces fit and it just works. Use the chance now - as moving away is a natural break. Don't be tempted to keep it going against the odds.
A
male
reader, Zabi  +, writes (26 September 2011):
Of course. When two people are having to many arguments, it means that's about time things come to an end. Why don't you live your life some more, instead of just surviving? Give yourselves a chance. Sometimes good things are so close to us, we don't see them or we just waste time with diversions.
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A
male
reader, mrg123  +, writes (26 September 2011):
 Well I think before you go dashing off here you need to get to the bottom of what is causing the arguments. You say you have been having these ever since you told him you are going to move, so maybe he is feeling insecure and since this is niggling away at his subconscious he is picking fights he wouldnt normally, pushing you away unconsciously to protect himself.
You say you still love each other so I see absolutely no reason why you cant carry on making this work. It's your move that has obviously cause this so what you really need to do is talk to your boyfriend and get to the bottom of how he is feeling about the move and maybe provide a little reassurance if as I suspect he is, he is feeling insecure.
This is one of those problems that can seen really overbearing but in fact has a relatively simple solution. Make some space and time, sit down and talk to your partner about the rows and the move and get to the root and you should be able to work through this together. Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, Babs1 +, writes (26 September 2011):
Sounds like you have answered your own question. You are obviously thinking of breaking up and any relationship expert would tell you that long distance generally doesn't work, especially in a new relationship. If you are already on the verge it would take effort and time to bring it to a healthier place, something it sounds like you won't be around to do. Take your time and sleep on it.
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