A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need a second opinion preferably from a guys point of view because i personally don't know how to react to this.So here goes my boyfriend and i are very much in love we have just got our own place and ready to move in and start our life together.Let me point out that i trust him and i know i my heart he would never intentionally do something to hurt me, but i just found out his ex girlfriend has been texting him asking him how the move was going etc. which is only an excuse to text him because everyone knows she still wants him because as early as this January she's been texting him asking him does he want to come over and have sex with her, but the painful bit is he's been texting her back!I don't really know what to do i got so upset last night i nearly threw up!i don't want to tell him what he can or can not do i just think if it was me texting my ex boyfriend it would be a different story. i love him and i want to spend my life with him and i know he feels the same so why would he give her the time of day?Thanks for reading i hope someone can help x
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male
reader, mrg123  +, writes (24 August 2011):
 My initial question is 'what has he been texting her back'? If he's been encouraging her in any way, shape or form, then you have every right to be upset and lay down the law on this BUT if he has been avoiding her comments like that or flatly refusing but still replying in a friendly (but not flirty) manner your on slightly more dodgy ground I would argue. You seem to be upset by the very fact of him texting back and not taking into consideration *what* he is texting back.
I have one of my exs on Facebook, we chat, we flirt a little (which is ok, we are both single) and I hope one day to be friends with another. I would take it seriously amiss if a current partner made an objection to a friendly inquiry. Of course, if I was encouraging sexual advances on their part this would be a different matter; also, you have to remember that her wanting your bf back isnt something that he can be held entirely responsible for (unless, as I said, he is actively encouraging it).
If this is bothering you though you really need to confront him about it rather than bottle it up and stew over it. Try and be measured though and make it clear your not going to stop him being friends with her, just that you want some consideration shown for your feelings. Other than that, my response really depends on what he's saying. Good luck :).
A
female
reader, Lizzy111 +, writes (24 August 2011):
Then tell him that - just ask if he would be ok if you texted with your ex, if he says not then he should get the clue himself..
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